(Bethany and Shannon talking after helping Shannon get her childhood innocence back... Strangely enough the two of them are becoming good friends. This doesn't usually happen between a member of the Cult of Ecstasy and a member of the Celestial Chorus.)

"...And that's why you were in the shape of a fawn when I helped you. Who would have guessed? I'll never understand this avatar thing." Bethany shook her unruly mane of red hair, attempting and failing to coax it into some semblance of order. She looked jealously at Shannon's perfectly manicured hair and clothes and nails... It's just wasn't fair for someone to be so unconsciously wrinkle free.

Strange, the two seemed to have nothing in common, if fact, they were complete opposites. She, casual, coarse and common, while Shannon was prim, polite and proper. One streetwise and cynical; the other naive and gullible. And when it came to sex... well, Bethany liked, wanted, enjoyed, and in an esoteric sense, needed a good roll in the hay. Shannon hadn't even found the barn. And yet, the two of them needed each other in a way. Shannon was a good-hearted, forgiving true person. Someone to count on to help out. Someone to be a friend. A real friend. Someone to trust.

And that's one of the biggest reasons you took her under your wing when she asked for help about that date.

"Beth...? Bethany? Did you hear me? You were off in Never-never land again." Shannon smiled. It was a genuine smile. So nice to see.

"Huh? I'm sorry. Just zoning. Whatcha say?"

"I said, that now you know a lot about me and I still know very little about you, tell me about yourself."

Bethany's whole body tensed. She felt like she was standing on a cliff, about to fall off. She could back away and never come to this point again; like she'd done so many times before or she could take that proverbial leap of faith like Indiana Jones did in The Last Crusade and hope that there was an extremely well camouflaged bridge right underneath...

"Well, if it was good enough for Indy..." she muttered as she took a deep breath and looked full into Shannon eyes. She saw only compassion and friendship looking back. Shannon waited patiently as she sensed Bethany's fear and inner turmoil.

"Are you sure you want to hear about me? It's not very interesting, um..." She stopped.

"Yes, of course I want to hear. It's only fair after all the wandering around you did in my head."

"Oh. Um. OK. Don't say I didn't warn you." Bethany wiggled around in her seat trying to get more comfortable. "Well, here goes... the Life Story...

Well, to begin with, my life was pretty normal up until the age of 10. My family was kinda like the Beaver family from what I remember. Except we never went to church. Dad didn't believe in it. He only believed in his work. Everything was hunky-dory though. Then things started to get a little weird. Dad started coming home later and later, he was taking more and more out of town trips on weekends and a lot of times he came home smelling like beer.

It wasn't until I was about 11 and a half that I discovered Sherry, Dad's little fuck toy. Oh, sorry Shannon. Well, that's what she was. It explained some of Dad's behavior around the house and some of the arguments I walked in on. You see, Mom figured it out a lot sooner than I did. And she didn't want to talk about the big D word because of Beth. Had to stay together for the kid. With both of them getting more and more unhappy. I wished they had broke it up a lot sooner than they did. Woulda save us a lot of grief and shit to deal with.

When I was about thirteen, I caught Dad snortin' some drug. I think it was coke. Apparently, Sherry had been introducing Dad to some 'new and exciting' things. He got really pissed and yelled at me about invading his privacy. By this time, I didn't even know him anymore. I started staying away from the house and hanging out with my friends. The only thing that saved me was my friends and my music. I started with the flute and then learned the guitar and then the electric guitar. I was pretty good in all of it. I was even in the orchestra up until about 10th grade.

By the time I was fourteen, things were really bad. Bethany got up on started pacing. Dad had taken to hittin' Mom 'cause she 'deserved it' for whatever reason. He came home drunk most of the time, when he wasn't out doin' Sherry. I asked Mom why we didn't just get the hell out of there and she just gave me a lame ass excuse. I realize now that she was afraid to go and afraid to stay. She didn't have the guts to make a decision. But that was before Dad tried...

Bethany stopped. She was surprised to find that she was shaking. She had almost said it. Shannon reached out a hand, saying nothing. Bethany took it gratefully. Shannon realized that Bethany was still very young in a lot of ways and her tough, I-don't-care attitude was just armor to protect her. She had seen it before at the shelter. Bethany took a depth breath, glancing briefly at the girl next to her.

One day, I got home from school and my Dad was home. I was really surprised to see him. Wasn't he supposed to be at work? He was drunk and really a mess. I wondered where Mom was. I said hello. He just growled and scowled at me. I decide it was time to get the hell out. I ran upstairs to my room to grab my jacket and some stuff. When I came out of my room, he was there, in the hallway.

"Where you goin'? You just got here."

"Um, I'm going to Kris' house." I mumbled, looking at my feet.

"I didn't hear you! Speak up!" He barked at me.

That just pissed me off and you know how my emotions show on my face. I'm bloody open book. I looked him straight in the eye. "I said, 'I'm goin' to Kris' house.' We've got some stuff to do."

"You don't like me very much, do you?" Something in his voice stopped me from popping off some sarcastic comment. He stood there looking me up and down and looking through me. I got scared and started to back into my room. I don't know what it was about that that set him off.

"You little bitch! You're just like your mother!" He stomped towards me and I tried to close and lock my bedroom door. He just slammed it open. "Don't you ever, ever tried to close me out again!" He was screaming, not making a lot of sense. Then he hit me. It was the first time he had ever done that. We were both stunned. I whimpered and he... h-he smiled a little smile. God, I was scared. I tried to run past him. He just grabbed me and held me there. My father was a big man, at least to me. He hit me again, twice. The second blow knocked me to the floor. I lay there like a rag doll for a moment. Then I saw him just staring at me. No, staring at my body. For someone a few months under fifteen, I sure didn't look it.

My shirt had ripped open, exposing a lacy pink bra. I wondered when my shirt had ripped. He was looking at my legs and up. I was wearing a mini-skirt. I pulled the skirt down to cover myself. "I bet you're a slut, too. Let's find out." he said too quietly. Then his face went blank. Hello, nobody home. I scrambled away. He so easily scooped me up and threw me to my bed. Then he was on top of me..." Bethany knew she was crying, but the tears were left to run their course unheeded. "I was screaming "No, Daddy, no! Please No!" But he didn't listen. Or maybe he did. I don't know. He ripped my shirt off and broke the snap on my bra. His hands were everywhere. I couldn't stop him. I knew what would happen. I had heard about it at school. But I was still a virgin. He was trying to get my underwear off when Mom came in. Neither of us had heard her. But suddenly, there was this metal clang and Dad stopped and rolled off me. Mom was standing there with a frying pan. She had hit Dad with it. She had heard me screaming and all her fear went away. And she attacked him with a frying pan. A frying pan. Jesus. Well, it worked. Dad was just sitting there, one hand on his head and the other one zipping up his fly.

"Honey, come over here." I scrambled behind her. "Get out." she said to him. "Get out or I swear to God I'll hit you again and again until you do leave." He just looked at us, her with the frying pan and me, torn clothes and bloody. He started to say something but stopped when Mom hefted the frying pan a little higher. Then he left. And we both let out our breath.

I tried to tell her what happened but I doubt I made much sense, I was crying so hard. She cleaned me up in the bathroom and then took me to the hospital. They took pictures and the police came. Mom started divorce proceedings that day and Dad was barred from the house without an escort. They were divorced and he was sentenced to '2 years community service' because he was such an upstanding citizen and it was his first offense. Such bullshit. What kind of 'upstanding' man would try to rape his fourteen year old daughter? Total bullshit!

Bethany looked at Shannon. "I don't know where the bastard is and I don't want to know. If he finds me, I'll kill him. I've told him so and he didn't believe me. He kept trying to see me, to say he was sorry. Trying to give me things, telling me that he was clean. No more drugs, no more Sherry. I hate him. He's working for some big corporation now. I don't even remember which one. And I don't care! I don't want to have anything to do with him." She dried her eyes and got a diet Dr. Pepper, her other 'addiction'.

"Are you going to be OK?" Shannon was surprised at the hatred in Bethany's voice. She couldn't imagine this sleepy-eyed girl ever killing anything or anyone.

"Yeah. And Shannon..."

"Hmm?"

"Could you not let this get out. When the group asked about my family and I mentioned that Dad hit Mom, Taylor asked about me and I lied saying that he never touched me. It - it's not like I don't trust ya'll. It's just that I never told anyone about it before and I - I couldn't -" She faltered.

"It's OK. I'm sure they'd understand." Shannon said soothingly. "And I won't tell anyone. Promise."

Bethany and Shannon looked at each other and smiled. Bethany thought Shannon seemed so much more 'adult' you could say. I guess we all have different strengths and weaknesses. "Well, on with the Life Story..."

Now, I'm not going to say that life with Mom was perfect after that. We had are ups and downs. One of the biggest things was school. I didn't want to go. I was bored. So we went round and round over it. I ended up taking and passing with flying colors, I might add the G.E.D... I was about sixteen and a half. Now, I'm to let you know how.

As I said, I was a well developed kid. And I had an urge or two or forty (or more) that I wanted to try out. My first boyfriend, Tommy, (Yes, his name was Tommy, so ordinary) and I got into experimenting in the bedroom department and the second time we did it, (the first time was terrible, neither of us knew what the hell we were doing) something incredible happened. It totally blew my mind. After we were done, I was feeling happy and sated and I was drifting in my head and around the house. We had lit some incense to get rid of the, uh, you know - smell. (You don't know... um... OK... Don't worry about it.) Then suddenly, I realized it wasn't a fantasy. I could see around the house, like I was there. Oh man! I didn't know what was going on. Then I saw my Mom driving up to the house. She wasn't suppose to be home for hours! I woke up Tommy and got some clothes on and we scrambled down stairs to the living room. And we waited and waited and waited for Mom to come in. About 30 minutes later, Tommy was cranky and wanted to know why I dragged him out of bed. Then Mom did walk in, at least 2 hours early. The store closed early that day. Man, I would have been in trouble if she had caught us.

Well, I figured something was definitely not normal about me after that. Especially when I had sex or when I burned incense or when I played or sang music. I didn't understand what was going on for a couple of years. But I certainly learned some useful things while I was in school. Tests were a breeze.

Things were OK. After I got my G.E.D., I wandered aimlessly for a while doing this and that. I mean, Portland is a big town. And I loved running around at 2 or 3 in the morning. It was a whole different world. And Saturday market. What a great place. I started busking there. Saturday Market is like a flea market except a lot of it is not mundane. And there are a lot of street performers. I bought my wooden flute there. Key of A. This other guy, young like me, had a pan flute and was busking on the corner. I knew the song he was starting, so I decided to give my flute a whirl. He was surprised but moved over so I could stand next to him. The music we made was just out of this world. The harmonies intertwining around each around. It was almost better than sex. Almost. He made a great haul that day. So, he bought me lunch. James was great...

Shannon smiled as Bethany took another trip into the Never-never land of good memories. She was a little worried after what Beth had told her about what happened with her father. Shannon wondered if there were more skeletons in store and how she could help the pain.

James was my first mentor. Yeah, I guess you could say that. He showed me that the stuff I could do was not something freaky, just different from what most of the 'Danes could do. 'Danes, mundane people, those who have no magic. I feel kinda sorry for them. James taught me a lot of magic and how to combine stuff together. He also explained a lot about the paradox spirits. I always thought that I just screwed up somewhere in the magic. You know, for a long time I was embarrassed to use the word 'magic' for the stuff I was doing. Up until I realized that science was 'magic', too. Anyway, he introduced me to his friend Eric. He was a CX, too. For James, it was drinking, Eric, marijuana and me, sex. James certainly enjoyed that. (And so did I).

Eventually, we all moved in together. Our own little cabal named The Dreaming. A couple of others moved in. We even started a band called The Dreaming. I did backup voices and bass guitar. Life was good for a while. Then one day, I saw a Man in Black. He didn't see me but I was so surprised and scared. I didn't know what the heck it was. That's when James and Eric told me about the Big T...the Technocracy. Eric was really pissed that James hadn't told me about them. But I think he was covering his fear with anger. I was sort of surprised but not really. With good, there's always bad... always. The Dreaming started to get pretty popular in the Portland underground. None of us really wanted to make it big because of what we were, (street smarts, go figure!) but we did want to do well in general. I guess that's why we accepted that uptown gig at Confetti's. It was a great gig. 6 weeks, every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday at $700 a show. That was good for us.

It was the best. I know I was kicking in a little bit of feel good in my music. I know now that it was a stupid thing to do, but I was young and stupid. I just wanted the crowd to feel good, be happy, and not fight. I don't think it was too much to ask. During the second week, I noticed the same guy in the front row, 3 nights in a row. Me, full of confidence, figured it might be a record guy. I was going to make a play at him the fourth night I saw him. I didn't get the chance. nce.

Right in the middle of our set, the police burst into the club shouting something about a drug raid. Only, it wasn't the police, it was the Men in Black. I was so stunned, I almost got myself shot. But that guy in the front row leaped up on the stage and knocked me over. He was like "Come on, you know what those things are! They're after you. And you don't want to be caught. I know..."

"James... Eric..." I vainly looked around for them. I didn't see them.

"Come on! They left!" So I went with him. I knew he was a mage after seeing a telephone wire suddenly snap and hit one of the bad guys in the face. He dragged me to his car and started driving. We ran over a Man in Black on the way out.

He told me his name was Vaungh and said he'd take me home. I didn't know about him. I wasn't completely sure that he was on my side but I didn't have a choice at that point in time. He didn't even ask where I lived, he just knew.

"You're quite the juicy little morsel, you know that?" he said softly. Suddenly I was pretty sure he wasn't on my side. "All pretty, physically and magically. You look just like the Vegas strip in the Nevada desert at night..." he continued. I was frozen with fear. "Quintessence just oozing off of you... WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU DOING UP THERE?!" he suddenly shouted, "Did you think the Technocracy would just pass you by? With you doing magic in the middle of a crowded club, not even trying to hide it? Gods!! You've got a lot to learn little girl!!" I was shaking and crying silently. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't even sure what I had done wrong. He looked at me and soften a little. "Little girl... how old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen, almost nineteen." I stammered.

"And how long have you been doing magic?"

"Since I was sixteen... James has been teaching me stuff for about 10 months."

"And none of you had the sense God gave little green apples. It's amazing the Technocracy hadn't picked you up before now. You're very lucky, young lady, that I picked you up, too. Or you'd be sitting in one of their labs, becoming just one more experiment!" He sat there a second. "I think you and your friends and I need to have a little talk. I'd hate to see any of you go through what I went through."

We drove into Beaverton to the relatively quite neighborhood I lived in to find nothing but a crater and damp, smoking pile of rubble where the house use to be. I was told by a neighbor that the gas line under the house had exploded and everyone else in the house except for me, Eric and James was dead. After that, Vaungh let me stay there for hours, waiting from James and Eric to come home. I couldn't leave anyway. I had no place to go. Well, I could've gone home, to Mom, but I wasn't ready for that.

After a couple hours and no James or Eric, Vaungh wanted to leave but I didn't want to. I ended up having to when a Man in Black popped in and shot me twice before I could even blink. Vaungh took care of him and got me into the car as two others popped in. We got to Portland in record time. Vaungh also healed me. I'm glad of that because I remember that it hurt a lot. He had a house there. He promised me that we'd looked for James and Eric tomorrow, but we had to hide and rest for the rest the night.

I had to agree. Everything I owned or loved was suddenly gone or missing. Vaungh was true to his word. We personally looked for James and Eric for a week and then Vaungh hired a private dick for a couple of weeks. We never did find them. Vaungh was not confident. For a long time, I made myself believe that they were just hiding. Two and half years later, I still hadn't heard from them. Now, I'm not so sure. Either they're dead or the Men in Black got them. If that's the choice, I hope they're dead.

About a year ago, Vaungh left to 'do other business' and left me on my own again. I mean he'd been gone for a month or so before, but this last time, he told me I 'finally had the sense God gave little green apples' and that I could make it on my own now. I guess that was his way of saying "you're all growed up now, so go away." I was ready to leave too. Vaungh was a good guy but living with him wasn't a whole lot of fun. He was too much like a parent.

Six months ago, he called and said he and another cabal needed me and my help and to please come. I wouldn't refuse Vaungh much and I didn't, couldn't refuse a call for help from him. Now, I'm here.

Bethany stopped and looked at Shannon. "I'm glad I didn't refuse." She smiled wanly. "There you have it. The Life Story." She said a little too brightly, her smile almost a grimace.

"Thanks Bethany. I'm glad you told me. And I'm very glad you didn't refuse Vaungh as well." Shannon said giving Bethany another quick hug. "Oh gosh. We're going to be late to the Shelter." She said, glancing at her watch. "I've got to get some paperwork. I'll meet you down at the car in five minutes." She hurried off.

Bethany smiled. They weren't suppose to be at the Shelter for another 45 minutes and she knew that Shannon knew it, too. Bethany threw cold water on her face and smoothed her hair. It wouldn't do to scare the rug-rats. Shannon was one of the nicest friends she had every had. I'm very glad I didn't refuse, too. She thought as hurried off to meet up with Shannon, her step a little lighter than before.