August 23, 2000
Dearest Jane,
I do not even know how to begin. They are gone. All of them. All of my pictures of you and my letters. Decades of irreplaceable memories burned to ash in seconds. There is a dull ache where my heart used to be. It was almost as bad as watching you die all over again. I had thought I had gotten over all these needless emotions. I was wrong.
Suddenly, all of the victories and defeats of the past month seem useless and hollow. Yes, I stopped the nightmares with the dreamcatchers. Yes, Rickhardt found the scroll. Yes, Zacharie was able to get the legend of "The Evil Within." Yes, Clan Tremere is looking as good as it should in the eyes of the court. But none of that matters now.
Booker is gone. Not dead, but in the hands of an unknown, ancient enemy. The Chantry is all but destroyed from the combat. The library was destroyed. The living quarters were destroyed. We have lost all of the artifacts that we have collected over the years. I lost the Gundestrup Cauldron as well. Unless it is sitting somewhere in the wreckage of the Chantry or in the waters beneath. I will begin attempting to salvage what is left of the Chantry tomorrow.
I was lucky that my cats survived. Even if they were quite upset at me for getting wet - even though it was not my fault. Riley was kind enough to give us a place to stay until I figured out what I should do.
There is so very much to do now: Salvage the Chantry, contact the Prince about the situation, contact the San Francisco Chantry for assistance, seeking out a new place for a new Chantry, investigating Booker's kidnapping, keeping on top of our duties to this domain and holding what is left together as securely as possible.
Zacharie is beside himself with worry for our Regent. He has totally focused on that - searching and rescuing him. So much so that he is not seeing the danger that is lurking ever closer. This is a most dangerous time for us. There will be those within our Clan who will seek to take advantage of this. There will be those outside our Clan will seek to harm us while we are so hurt. I must protect us both from these dangers by any means necessary.
He is so very young and has been so very sheltered. Zacharie has no idea what is waiting for us out there without the protection of our Regent. I pray that he has the common sense to remember Booker's teachings. To respect the prestige, age and position of the other Tremere we will come into contact with because of this attack on our Clan. If he does not, we may loose our autonomy altogether and there will be nothing I can do to stop it.
Yet, through all this worry, my thoughts keep coming back to you, Jane. What little I have cared for in this world is gone. All I have left are my fallible memories. There are those who would say that I should care - that caring meant that one was still alive. How can I care when I know in the end, no matter what I do, it will all turn into dust?
I wish you were still here. You were my light. Now, even the mementos my memories of that have been taken from me. What will I do now? If you can, please... give me a sign, a hint, something. Please.
Love,
Kayley
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