August 03, 1999
Dear Jane,
Guess what! Booker is going to let me build a greenhouse! I have really missed my garden. So, I looked around the Chantry and found a suitable place on the East side to build a greenhouse. Then, I looked up some greenhouse construction plans on the web and in the library. Finally, I found the plans I wanted, figured out that I could do this myself and went to talk to Booker about it.
I fully expected him to grill me on the project. But, once again, he surprised me. I asked, "May I build a greenhouse on the East side on the unused docking platform?" I readied my facts and figures for the expected questioning but he just said "Yes. Whatever makes you happy. However, you will be responsible for all aspects of it." I was surprised and pleased. Booker has surprised me before - as with Mutt and Jeff - but I really expected more questioning. I wonder if he knew I was going to ask... Interesting thought. Still, I am very happy. I know it is not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
Perhaps... this garden will give me back my piece of mind. Recently, I have had something I have not had in decades. Nightmares. I have not dreamed in such a long time and suddenly, I am having nightmares? At least, I do not remember dreaming. But, I remember these nightmares. They are so vivid! I wake up with my heart pounding and adrenalin in my veins. It is all I can do not to scream in panic and fright some nights.
I had a nightmare about you this evening. It was so horrible. You and I were having a picnic as we so often did. I watched as a black shape, perhaps too ugly to identify, crept up behind you. I tired to warn you, to protect you but I could not move and you did not notice my panic and fear. I was frozen in my place, helpless to stop it as it attacked you, tearing you to pieces.
Suddenly, I could move again and it was coming for me. I turned and ran, as fast as I could. Every thing else around me disappeared into blackness. Behind me was a point of light - just enough light to show off the darkness personified that was chasing me. The faster I ran, the slower I went and the closer it came. I was fleeing in slow motion, knowing that the darkness was coming closer... and closer... and I would be murdered by it, just as you had been. Just at the point when I knew it was about to overcome me, I woke up. My eyes snapped open and for the briefest instant, I was certain the darkness had followed me out of my nightmare and into my reality.
The images are still so vivid. I see them when I close my eyes. I can almost hear the whispers. By Oak and Ash, Jane, I am still frightened! My hands are shaking. How can this be happening to me? I have been a vampire, a creature of the night, and a sorcerer for decades now! What is wrong with me? What is wrong with this place? Why am I having these horrible dreams?
I must seek an end to these nightmares - one way or another.
Love,
Kayley
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