September 2000

Speaking My Mind

Meta Stuff...
Well, here's the new look for my journal. The "Goddess" icons from Jonathon Bowser seemed to say stuff about me and my journal that weren't true. So, I've taken them down. Also, since I'm not updating on a daily bases anymore, I figure I won't be changing the color scheme/layout every month anymore either. I figure I'll just change it when I'm bored.

Incidentally, the 'film' on this page was made from my last set of pictures I had from me and James. It's one of those photo booth strips. Scanned and shrunk down. I think I did OK for creating my first background image.

On the Work Front...
You know. Over all, this has been a very good week at work. I think I'm coming to understand and work better with my boss. He doesn't seem like he is doubting my ability to do things anymore. He seems to be approve of my volunteering for more things, taking charge and generally being me - just more fearless than before.

I really like this. It reminds me of why I decided to work here. Things are also getting better. Since we are having the restructuring of the cubes, I've requested a cube format change so I can see out of my cube instead of having my back to the door. It's been approved. This makes me very, very happy.

On the Ouchy Side of Things...
The Naproxen doesn't seem to be doing to much to help my wrists and elbows. Though, I have discovered that it is a migraine medicine (that explains no headaches) and it does give me the weirdest, most vivid dreams. Unfortunately, it also seems to have the side affect of making me forget them as soon as I wake up - except for incoherent, random, blurred images throughout the day.

Game Musings...
Last night, Dave and Alex helped James and I make up our pulp hero characters for Dave's new campaign. They used "Heroes of Today," a character generator that helps players roll up character backgrounds. These randomly rolled events/traits range from the mundane to the absurd.

Let me tell you, I rolled up one heck of a background. Lillian ended up with the following:

• Parents who disappeared on the night of her birth - which was at sea, just before the boat was ship wrecked.
• Being given a strange hermetically sealed box on the night of her birth by a stranger.
• Her old brother hiding her and her twin sister away so no one knew of the birth.
• A malevolent twin sister who stole her identity.
• Her whole family being captured by invading forces - brother dying, she being enslaved for 3 years and forced to wear an iron mask during her enslavement - all the fault of her twin sister who she had to kill when she escaped. (Jillian stole Lillian's identity and Lillian ended killing Jillian to get it back.)
• Finding a mine of an unknown "Mineral" that was then bought by Mr. Fairhope for 1 MILLION dollars, making Lillian one of the richest women in the world.
• And, she's claustrophobic.

She's going to be a joy to play! *hehehehe*

In Other News...
Looks like I have an honest to goodness lunch date on Monday. Whoo-hoo!

Tarot Card for the Day: Temperance, Inverted

Domestic Desire

On the Social level...
I went to Casey and Mary's house warming party on Saturday. Oh, my. I have the -worse- case of house envy! I WANT! I WANT! I WANT!! They are tucked away in a little neighborhood that is so domestic it is almost amusing. (If you know Casey, you know why this is amusing.) They have a beautiful front yard with a paved part that is just right for putting up a set of tables and chairs or a front porch swing. Their backyard is twice as large as their front yard with flowers, a peach tree and a low wooden deck. Their backyard gives them a great view of the Hayward Hills - and that's it. It's easy to forget that you even have neighbors with a view like that. They were telling me how they like to come and sit in their comfy chairs (and they are comfy) to watch the hill, looking for deer.

The house itself is a perfect size. 3 bedrooms, a HUGE kitchen with *lots* of cabinet space, deep bathtubs, and a 2 car garage that has been half converted into a workroom. The front room has floor to ceiling windows that let you look out onto the yard and the street in perfect comfort. And it's quiet. Living on the frontage road of a major street in Fremont, I've forgotten what it is like to not have cars streaming by your house at all hours of the day or night.

They love this house and it suits them well. Mary's asked me if she could throw me a birthday party in December because she wants to as a friend and to show off her house. Her request made me smile, so, I've said yes, she can.

Gosh, just thinking about their house, I am struck once more with that desire to have my own place. Tucked away in a quiet little suburban neighborhood. I remember watching Casey quickly raking up some grass before the party and being surprised by the sudden domestic desire to be able to do the same thing - take care of MY house. Put everything just so. To have my own little sanctuary of domestic bliss.

Still, after all these years here with Donna, I'm still in temporary mode. I know this isn't my home. Just the house I'm renting.

I want my own house. A home. And maybe someone to share it with.

...

Speaking of that, my lunch date with Bill was fine. Nothing stellar. He's a nice guy. He choose a good place to meet - Gordon Biersh, a pub in Palo Alto that is famous for their garlic french fries. I do have to admit, the garlic french fries were excellent. The conversation was OK, mostly about books and movies. But, generally, Bill was a bit dull. Maybe it's because we couldn't really think of anything else to talk about except work, IPOs, books and movies.

Strange Dreamage...
Invasion Force - After our world has been invaded, some humans possessed by aliens, as part of the Rebellion, I have to try to rescue a savior child who is half human and half alien. Unfortunately, my competition is the alien head of intelligence who has taken over Avery Brooks' body.

The Written Word...
I haven't been writing much. Mostly to save my wrists and elbows. So, when I don't write, I read. So, I've been devouring A.C. Crispin's Han Solo series over the past couple of days. I've finished it off and I'm still in a Sci-fi mood. I'm looking for something new to read. I have a lot of books that I haven't read yet. Maybe I'll keep on the Star Wars bent or move to William Gibson.

I don't know why I get on science fiction or fantasy bents, but it seems I can't mix the two. If I'm reading fantasy, that's all I want to read. If I'm reading Sci-fi, that's it. Maybe so that once I'm on one particular train of thought, the other doesn't clash with it.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Devil

Family Obligations

I have myself a bit of a quandary to deal with. It involves my fraternal twin brother, Scott. I know I don't talk about him a lot and there is a reason for that. I don't willingly spend time with him. I haven't see him in months.

When we were growing up, we were decent friends. We would team up against my sister. Or me and my sister would team up against him. It was rare that the two of them would team up against me. I think that was more a factor of them not liking each other than anything else. He would protect me at school. Generally, we understood each other - even if we were so different from one another.

That camaraderie lasted until he went into the Navy and I went to college. Scott had always be one of strong opinions and stubbornness. The Navy OVER emphasized that in him. When he came back from the Navy, my brother had become an intolerant, bigoted, homophobic know-it-all who knew only what he heard and had very selective hearing.

Now, imagine that type of man becoming 'born-again.' He has become a man with the bible as his law, the conviction of a priest, the intolerance of the Inquisition and the self righteousness of a martyr. No. He isn't a lot of fun to be around. In fact, if he wasn't family, I would never have anything to do with him. Ever.

That brings me to my quandary. I will be flying to North Carolina for Thanksgiving to visit my mom, dad, sister and her family. Last time I talked to them, they said that Scott probably won't be visiting. Last time I talked to my brother about it, it was because of money issues. My parents really want to see all of their children for Thanksgiving. They know that full family get-togethers are going to be a lot more rare. I know I can afford to fly my brother out there with me. I can... but I don't want to.

That's the issue. Family Obligation tells me that no matter my own personal feelings, I should be the good sister and bring my brother with me. This will pretty much guarantee that I have a bad Thanksgiving - spending most of my time hiding somewhere with a book, trying not to argue with my brother or dodging conversion attempts.

I don't want my Thanksgiving ruined. I had that happen back in 1998 where my Thanksgiving became a bad 'movie of the week' about dysfunctional families. Part of me wants to just ignore this decision and not worry about my brother. Part of me... the responsible part (dammit!) wants to ask my brother if he is going and if he would like me to fly him out with me.

I know I'm going to end up asking him no matter how much I don't want to. I guess Family Obligation is going to win out. I just hope the PTB will forgive me for hoping that he turns me down.

On the Work Front...
Guess what! -I- fixed a bug! We had a branding issue being toss around like a hot potato between engineers that I was trying to keep up with. I finally nailed down an engineer to work on the problem that they did a quick hack on it then nicely told me to go away. The reason it was such a hot potato is because it dealt with a custom made HTML file that is part of the branding process that the engineers rarely have to deal with.

So, I get it back to my desk and, of course, it fixes only part of the problem. So, rather than piss off the engineer again, I started looking at the code myself. It was just one function in javascript that had enough recognizable HTML that after a little bit of tinkering, I figured it out - fixing the bug myself. *whoo-hoo*

Now, I don't want to become a developer or even a white box tester. But I'm back to considering Java scripting classes again. I think I really might like to do that. Of course, one of our Principle Architects keeps telling me that I really -don't- want to get into Java scripting. Really, I don't. Ah, well.

Owwies and Dreams...
My wrists and elbows seem to be doing worse. It sucks. I'm have tempted to call the doctor to tell his medicine is making me ache even more. Not just when typing. Now, I'm getting twinges when I drive or brush my hair or sometimes when I'm going to bed. I'm not typing nearly as much at all. As you can see, I'm laying off of the journal entries in a big way, too.

My next appointment is on the 15th. I'm going to see if I can hold out until then. In the meantime, I'll deal with the pain, drowsiness and funky dreams. (You all probably don't want to know about the haunted house and the two rabbis that became a werewolf and a vampire (respectively) when the house bled on them.... or about the rabbi's wife becoming a feral cat when the vampire bit her. The last thing I remember was the feral cat chewing on the werewolf's ear.)

Game Musings...
This week was pretty light on the gaming scene. The Thursday game became an evening out at a pizza place - just chilling and talking. The Friday game became a quiet evening with Johanna, Dave and Alex celebrating Alex's official new status of being MISTER Baker. He is a full fledged civilian now. *whoo-hoo*

It was actually a really good evening. Gaming topics were kept to a bare minimum. We talked about dreams, conventions and I was treated to a series of memories from Alex and Dave and their time in Alabama. I've learned a lot about their friends. Some of them sound so neat. I would love to meet them some day.

This afternoon and evening will be taken up with Bob's D&D game. I finally get to play Fiona again. Though, she's not really the original Fiona that I got to play for a couple of games. I probably should rename her but since I don't think Alex's Waterdeep game is going to continue, I'm not really worried. (That reminds me, the Port Townsend game with Delphi had been put on hiatus until further notice.)

And tomorrow, Alex, Johanna and I will be heading out to the Ren Faire. It's the first full weekend of Faire and I'm looking forward to it.

I Broke My Leg

Nope. The title isn't wrong. Yes. I really did break my leg. Let me tell you, that was one hell of an AD&D game! I really wish I could say that I was skiing Tahoe's double diamond "Pray for Mercy" run or in a little car accident or even fell down a flight of stairs but, I can't. I was just walking from the kitchen to the living room and I slipped. That's it. I hyper extended my leg, listened to the most horrible series of pops and cracks as I fell to the ground and fracture the little bone next to my knee.

Now, I was in a D&D game at Bob's house. I'm sure I cried out as I fell. Everyone reacted. I remember shouting "Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" For me, when I'm hurt, when someone touches me, it usually hurts more. Bob saw I was hyperventilating and calmed me down. Howard called 911. Once calmer, Dave, who has medical experience (or was really good at acting as if he had some :)), helped me with my leg and calmed me more. Howard never left me alone. It was actually very comforting to have him have is hand on my shoulder. Most of the rest of the guys waited outside for the ambulance.

The fire and rescue guys arrived first cause there was a big accident earlier. There were three of them. They seemed relived that it was just one semi-coherent woman with a busted knee. They had to take a look, so *snip* *snip* *snip* and there went my favorite set of jeans. They assured me that it wasn't that bad and then an ambulance showed up.

The ambulance guys were great. The driver was cuter but the guy in the back with me was so very nice. He did his job so well. It made my first ambulance ride really nice. Alex was kind enough to go with me with Howard and Dave following along behind. I really appreciated it.

I was at the hospital for about 3 hours. As I wasn't life threatening, I was a low priority. So, Alex kept me entertained with the story of some idiotic guy using my arrival as the distraction for him to steal the lead supervisor paramedic's truck. They caught him about two hours later after he had turned on the sirens and couldn't figure out how to turn them off.

Net result... fractured left fibula (I think), stretched ligaments on either side of my knee, a thigh high half cast splint, a pair of crutches and some vicodin. I spent the night at Bob's house, then Bob got me and Alex/Johanna got my car home. I've been sleeping on and off since then. (Needless to say, I didn't go to Ren Faire. Maybe on the 23rd.) I'm off of work for the next week and my computer time is going to be severely limited because this is really uncomfy... unless I borrow a laptop and a modem from someone.

So, I'm basically OK but I have a broken leg... which is still incredulous to me.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Tower

Not One, but Two, Fractures

Well, the last few days haven't been too exciting... hence, no update. Just a lot of sleeping, fighting with crutches and dealing with being out of touch. Monday, I went to my primary doctor whose whole job was to look at my leg (which she didn't, she just looked at the x-ray) and send me to an orthopedist specialist. She did comment, "What a strange bone to break."

The first appointment available for me was today on Thursday. My doctor is a nice guy with an Arabic name that I can't pronounce. He was the one that told me he thinks I actually have two fractures instead of one. One on the proximal fibula and one at the very top part of my tibia. But, he's not completely sure, so he's trying to get a CAT scan approved. In the meantime, I'm in a new ankle-to-thigh immobilizer until the 28th at a minimum.

I can go back to work on Monday, assuming I can figure out how to get there. I've sent a plea to work for a carpool. So far, no luck. I may have to taxi it. That's going to suck and be expensive but I may have to do it. Ah, well. Work was nice enough to send me "Get Well Soon" flowers. I appreciated it.

Last night, Rich, Cil and Greg came over to game. Looks like they are going to move the Thursday night game to my house until I climb the stairs to Rich's apartment. Yes. They realize this might be a month coming

Tarot Card for the Day: The Tower, Inverted

Little Life Lessons

There are a series of little life lessons that I've learned since I've broken my leg.

1. A messy room is deadly when it comes to crutches. My den is filled with boxes, clothing and -stuff- all over the place. Currently, I've just sort of shoved them out of the way to make a path to my computer. However, that doesn't make it any less treacherous. The errant piece of paper can cause the crutches to slip and that is a BADTHING(tm). In any case, it has me vowing to clean my rooms totally as soon as I can. And, of course, it is more frustrating right now because I can't and I want to.

2. All of those things you put off until later will come back and bite you in the butt when you least expect it. I meant to go out an buy myself a laptop but put it off. Now I really wish I had because I can't sit at my computer for more than 20 minutes at a time. I meant to buy my new bed but didn't and now I wish I had because my current bed is too low for me to get out of ... so, I'm sleeping on the couch. The list goes on and on.

3. Don't give up on people too quickly. Friday, I had called Pryia (Pre-a) to carpool with me. She seemed quite taken aback by the idea of a wheel chair - to the point that it seemed she made up a lame excuse to get me off the phone. Sighing, I mentally discounted her. By the end of the weekend, I was figuring it was either taxi or drive myself. Neither option was pleasant. But, 8pm on Sunday night, Pryia calls and tells me that carpooling would be just fine. She just had to clean out her trunk to make sure the wheel chair would fit. I was really happy... though, a bit ashamed at myself for immediately thinking the worst of her.

On the Work Front...
Man, I break my leg, am gone a week and they change everything on me. Actually, I knew the reconfiguration was coming. I just didn't know what it would look like. Wow. Everything seems more crunched but I -love- my cube. It's in the configuration I wanted and everything (finally) works.

As expected, everyone is asking me about my leg. Though, why do people ask me WHY I broke my leg? It's not like I did it on purpose. So, instead of getting annoyed, I've started 'seriously' answering them. Some of my answers have included:

• Well... I just wasn't getting enough attention. This way, people ask about my leg and offer to do things for me.

• My buddy Alex had the goal of riding in an ambulance before he turned 35, so I thought I'd fulfill that for him - without the pain. A late birthday present, you see.

• I wanted to test the company's adherence to handicapped accessibility.

• I figured I could use a vacation. You know, take a week out of life to stare at my room mate's shrine to her son.

Game Musings...
Well, I made it to Aragon. Yes, I (and my character, Kayley) were in a wheelchair. It was a heck of a game. It started out with the stick with Alex playing the new NPC Tremere regent, Justin Aquilous, who just hammered Kayley for a good 15 minutes, declared himself displeased with her performance and busted her from "Magus" to "Apprentice." Then later, after talking to some others, the Prince and a Duke, Justin seemed to lighten up, told Kayley to not be so formal and to call him "Justin", then he bargained with the prince to gain the Prince's "prize" (a child to diablerize) and presented it to Kayley to chow down on in front of the court - which she did.... then promoted her to "Magus" again.

Later, after being told she had to report to the Duke of Aragon now, the Duke came to Kayley and offered her his second in command position - which Kayley has accepted.

Of course, Kayley, being Kindred, Tremere and paranoia is just not sure what is up with this new Regent. Me? I'm certain that there is a price to be paid for this sudden elevation in power and status. I'm just hoping it's not going to be too harsh of a price.

Though, there is one thing that bothered me the whole night. I'm not sure if it was just roleplay or what. The person who was playing the other PC Tremere - isn't anymore for various reasons. He's playing an occult knowledgeable Brujah who seems to hate Tremere... or maybe he was just trying to get under my skin... which he did a good job of. In and out of character, he made nasty remarks about the Tremere all evening. It seemed like he'd wait until I was in earshot and would say something snide like "The Tremere are SO fired!" or "Looks like the Tremere screwed up again."

Once, after the game, when we were discussing what happened as a group, some one asked about the IC reason... I mentioned that yes, Kayley had been in a 'discussion' with a lupine but in order to protect the rest of the court, she just said that one of her experiments got away from her. To that, he loudly commented, "Oh, so instead of seeming brave for facing a lupine, you just look incompetent." Wow. That really hurt me. A lot. It was as if he was saying, "Now that I'm not in the Tremere, you are useless and worthless. So, f*ck you!" It sucked because I couldn't even explain why I was willing to downplay what happened.

I doubt he meant to be so mean. But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I've been feeling a bit on the delicate side because of the broken leg. It's hard to get around. I feel helpless and here he is, just fueling that feeling of no self worth. I suppose I could have talked to him about it then but I wasn't up to it then and my ride wanted to leave. I suppose I'll find out at future games if it was just roleplaying or if the player is feeling angry about his situation.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Star

Bad, Bad Girl

I'm a Bad, Bad Girl. It's Friday night. I've had chips for dinner and I'm sitting at my computer without my leg brace on. You see, it's Friday night and I couldn't bare the thought of staring at the ceiling or reading anymore. So, I am being reckless, sitting at the computer without my leg brace. Whoo-hoo, I'm just the wild party girl, aren't I.

On the Work Front...
Wow. I never knew working while having a fractured bone would take so much out of a person. I've made it through one week of work with this stupid ankle-to-thigh immobilizer. I pretty much go to work, come home, eat and sleep. That's it.

The people at work have been really supportive and helpful. Sometimes, almost too helpful. Let me tell you, it can get darned dangerous when someone decides they want to help someone in a wheel chair. There is a danger of having limbs rammed into unsuspecting items and people. There is a danger of getting stuck and finally, I almost had my foot amputated by the elevator - no joke! I was really scared there for a moment.

I've also discovered just how lax the rules for 'handicapped accessibility' are. For example - whoever designed the bathrooms to have two doors about 3 feet apart at the entrance were not in a wheelchair. It is almost impossible to get through those doors on crutches, much less a wheel chair. And, now that it's raining, let me mention just how slippery the lobby floor gets when it's wet. Now. Add crutches. It's freaking mine field!

I really feel sorry for people who are handicapped and have to deal with this sort of difficulty every day without end.

However, Friday was payday and that makes it a great day!

Going Meta for a Moment...
I just added four new journals to the SF Bay Journals Burb. That brings the total up to 32 journals! *whoo-hoo* And, of course, a minor format change for the page.

Let's welcome:

Avian's Diary - Avian.
Sonoma/San Francisco. San Francisco native who divides her time between S.F. and Sonoma. Online exhibitionist.

coathangerwings- Lindsay.
Vallejo. Starving college student seeks catharsis.

Rambles - Mike.
San Francisco. I'm a homegrown New Yorker who's trying to find a new life on the West Coast. My new job here has given me lots more free time than my workaholic mind knows what to do with, so I've gone and gotten myself a bartending license and will be getting a sky diving license, perhaps a masseuse license, and some salsa/swing dancing lessons.

San Francisco tourbus driver/guide tells it like it is. - Mary.
San Francisco. I'm born and raised in San Francisco, lived in Europe and loved the Northern countries, thus coming back fluent in German. AFter so much vagabonding, I simply couldn't settle into normal 9-5 life, so I went for the daily thrills of being a tourguide, based on being bilingual. Plus, I got a tourbus driver's license. In constant anguish over whether I should move on, in the meantime, I record my experiences with strong opinions added.

Abstract Thoughts...
It was really neat how they did my half cast splint. Just soaked it in water. "Hey! It's getting warm. Is that supposed to happen?" "Yep. It's a chemical reaction." "Cool."

Sometimes, a good eggsalad really will cure all immediate problems.

They can do a CAT scan of the leg?

Why would anyone want to put cheese whiz on a Vorlon suit?

Last time I checked, an exclaimation point was considered to be valid punctuation.

Pryia means "Of Love" or "Beloved." She is married to Kartikeya. Kartikeya is the name for the God of War in India. Love married to War. Neat.

Fudgicles are very good for broken legs.

Warning: Deadlines are closer than they appear.

What do you get when you cross a broken leg and diarrhea? A three legged run to heed a collect, mandatory call from Nature.

Did you know that there are 25 different Indian languages spoken today... with most of them having nothing to do with each other or the 'common' Indian language, Hindi?

Maybe it was the apple juice.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Star, Inverted

Being a Good Girl

Well, I'm being a good girl. Seems that family obligation won out. I talked to my brother and we've agreed to travel to North Carolina together. I've even bought his ticket. I managed to score two round trip tickets to North Carolina for just over $300 a piece. The internet is a wonderful thing. I figure, it's only four days. What could go wrong? I already am not fond of him. It can't get much worse than that. Also, it's good family karma.

Saturday, Lisa came by to visit me. It was such a nice visit. She came over to see how I was doing and to give me some company. We talked about work and friends. I think I've just been starved for friendly companionship. Lisa and Rob are doing well. She and Rob are working out together. The two of them are doing good on it, too.

Also, Christina, Lisa's daughter sent me a seashell as a little good luck and get well gift. It was a really sweet gesture on Christina's part. I know she's not too sure what it really means that I broke my leg but she does know that I'm hurt. I appreciate her want that I feel better soon so I can come visit.

It has been two full weeks since I broke my leg and it looks like I have at least one more week to go in this immobilizer. Let me tell you, this is an experience that I do not want to repeat. Ever. However, this next week should be better than the previous two because I've now got a new chair that I can actually sit in to watch TV. I don't have to be banished to the green couch. Whoo-hoo! Let the partying begin.

On the financial side of things, I've met my latest 'comfy' goal. I now have 3 months salary in my savings account. It would have been sooner, but I loaned a friend some money to deal with a minor emergency. It's a nice feeling not to be living paycheck to paycheck. Especially for someone like me who spent a very long time in a large amount of debt, trying to figure out how to pay the bills and eat at the same time.

Admittedly, living like that gave me a valuable set of lessons - teaching me just how little I could survive on for long periods of time. However, I do know that I -never- want to be like that again. I learned my lesson and once is enough. It's that whole paranoia and need to be self reliant quirk of mine.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. On the gaming/writing side of things, I just finished reading 7th Sea's Secret Society book about the Order of the Black Crosses. They are the dark side of the Church in the 7th Sea world. WOW! What an awesome book. I was really impressed with the storyline and infinite number of plothooks this Secret Society book generated. I'm reviewing this book for Black Gate magazine and I can tell you right now, I will be giving it a stellar review. The hardest thing will be to give it a great review and not reveal any of the secrets... *hmmm* Actually, it shouldn't be that hard to do.

In other reading, I finally read and finished "Cordelia's Honor" by Lois McMasters Bujold. Michael had been trying to get me to read it for months. I'm just sorry it took me breaking my leg to make time for this book. I really enjoyed it a lot. The writing was tight, concise and evocative. The main characters were likeable and realistic in their quirks and imperfections... and Bujold proved several times that one person really could make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I think one of my favorite things is the main character, Cordelia. She is such a strong but human character who overcomes all sorts of obstacles to reach her goal. It made for some very enjoyable reading. Now... I just have to wait until the rest of the series gets here.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Moon

Best Laid Plans

So, I get home late on Wednesday, only to have message on my machine from the orthopedic office, saying they will have to postpone my appointment on Thursday until I can get the CAT scan on my leg. I'm to call them in the morning. They, of course, don't open up until 9am.

Fortunately, Stacy, the doctor's assistant there, is calling me by 8:55am, telling me that I have a CAT scan appointment for Thursday and can I make it? I am understandable confused. This is the first I heard of it. Turns out, Stacy pulled some strings and got me in for the scan at 3pm. However, the CAT scan people didn't call to let me know I had the appointment.

Unfortunately, this means I probably won't see the Orthopedist. I grumped a little about that and Stacy told me to call as soon as I got out of the CAT Scan. If I can take my results with me, I might be able to be squeezed in that evening as the last appointment. So, we'll have to wait to see what happens now.

(Several Hours Later)
Well, I go to the orthopedic office to get my X-Rays but they can't find the X-Rays. It might be because the emergency room spelled my last name wrong. It might be because they are so busy. In any case, it is making me late for the CAT scan of my leg. On top of that, my doctor is going to be out of town the first two weeks in October.

So, I make a Monday appointment and rush over to the hospital without my X-Rays to find out my appointment is actually 3:45, not 3pm because of registration. The CAT scan was short and sweet and I was home by 4pm. Now, to wait for the results.

Assuming Joy gets my X-Rays to the hospital today or tomorrow and the scan is looked at tomorrow, we'll have an answer on Monday. Hopefully. Then again, with my luck... nothing will be done on time and the doctor will head out on vacation. *sigh*

(Ninety Minutes Later)
Whoa. That was fast. The scan is done. The X-Rays found and everything was examined. Yes. The tibia definitely fractured and I need to go into the orthopedist ASAP so it can be dealt with. *sigh* This means I will be on crutches a lot longer and unable to walk, probably for the full 6 weeks. *mutter*

Well, I shouldn't freak out. Not yet. I don't know what the doctor is going to say.

I swear, if it wasn't for bad luck... I'd have no luck at all.

Whoo-hoo! Buffyand Angel are back on! I've missed them.

Buffy is looking good with her longer hair style. I like the way it looks. Though, I hate the lipstick. Tone it down some. This episode was basically to reintroduce everyone and remind the audience where people are. Willow and Tara are still together. Zander is still trying to find himself and his place - a place that is NOT the butt of everyone's jokes. And I think he and Anya are on their way out. Buffy and Riley are still doing good with Riley still having bits of insecurity. Finally, Giles is back to being Buffy's Watcher. He was going to leave but Buffy, after her encounter with Dracula, came to him and admitted that she needed him.

Angel was amusing, if a bit scattered. Cordelia is getting better at acting. Wesley is holding his own. Gunn is a bright new cast member who brings a bit of the street into show and Angel is being Angel - broody and too serious. The show poked fun at Angel's too broody side by making him sing at a karaoke bar for demons and reminded him ... and everyone else... that he isn't perfect... just one of the good guys.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Moon, Inverted

Six More Weeks...

Saw the doctor. Nice guy. Good/bad news.

Good news: I'm healing really well. It comes from actually doing what the doctor tells me to do and wearing that freaking brace. I swear that thing is 3 parts wool and 2 parts lead.

Bad news: The CAT scan revealed a 2-3 millimeter indent/fracture thing in the top of my tibia. This means I don't need surgery but I do need to be in that freaking brace for another 4-6 weeks.

I am SO bummed. I was really hoping for some good news. Which I got... but it doesn't seem to offset the bad news. And it didn't help the depression any. I went home and had a good cry over it. Then, I whined to Dave and Johanna. Dave did the 'buck up' routine - which I kind of expected - by telling about being in a full body cast for 6 months and a wheel chair for 14 months. Johanna made lots of nice sympathetic noises - which I expected and wanted. Sometimes, you need to sulk and get it out of your system.

So, I've decided that I REALLY need to go get my new bed ASAP because I don't want to spend another 6 weeks on the couch and because the doc says I can sleep without the brace.

(Much Later.)

I was going to go on about this has affected me emotionally, how it's affecting my desire to lose weight, my fear that over the next 4-6 weeks I'm going to lose my mental drive to loose weight and a lot of other really depressing topics - all related to my broken leg and my weight. However, I decided that it's not worth effort and I really don't want to listen to myself whine. I figure you all don't either.

We now have 34 members in the SFBAJ. *hmmm* If we keep growing at this rate, I may have to think up a couple of new search options for the burb. Please welcome:

Euphemism - Halsted.
San Rafael. This twentysomething librarian-poet says it all ... okay, not all, but at least *nicely*

Jeff Lives Here - Jeff.
San Francisco. Um. I'm a philosophy student who's lived in SF for about 8 years now. I like to ruminate.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Sun