November 1999

The Great Lunchbox Search

Saturday, I ran the Star Wars game at Bob’s house. I was a little nervous but once I got into it, I had a great time and so did everyone else it seemed. It was cool to see what happened with the plotline. A couple of times, the players did something I totally did not expect… but, I suppose, knowing gamers, that’s to be expected.

I think I kept control of game pretty well but I still allowed the regular joking and gaming to go on. I had to step on Bob, but only once. He started saying what one of the NPCs was doing and I stopped him, stating that no, that NPC did not do that. That I had another NPC working on it. Bob relaxed after that.

I wasn’t perfect though - by any means. I did make one glaring mistake. It was against Alex. Alex’s Jedi was fighting my top dude and his Jedi was totally slicing through him. It was way too easy. So, I was trying to make it more interesting for him. I mean, if he wanted hack and slash, he wouldn’t have made a Jedi. -Sigh- But, I’m learning. I know what I’ll do next time.

Still, even with that glaring mistake I did against Alex, he told me flat out that he would love it if I just took over the game on a semi-permanent basis instead of just the 2 games I had planned on. This is a high compliment coming from Alex. And, actually, I do have several other plotlines running around in my head that I could run. Assuming Bob didn’t mind if I just continued running for a while.

Though, there are two things I would immediately do if Bob said that I could just continue running…

First: Bring the Star Wars game back into JUST the Star Wars Universe. No more Kilrathi. No Cylons. Just good old Imperial problems, political problems, mercenary problems… maybe throw in a rogue or misguided dark jedi. Dig into the characters’ backgrounds. Stuff like that.

Second: Make Mike create a new character. I was stunned when I looked at his character sheet last night. He is SO overpowered! His character doesn’t have a single stat under four (the usual max is six). Most characters specialize in one or two areas, leaving the other areas for other people. I emailed Bob and asked about that character and why Mike is playing him.

Yesterday, I decided that I needed a lunchbox for my new job since my new workplace doesn’t have all of the perks that my last one did and I have to bring a lunch everyday. Well… guess what I’ve discovered. Almost NO ONE carries lunchboxes after “Back to School” season. In an entire mall, I found (count ‘em) exactly THREE lunchboxes: one “Toy Story” , one “Batz Maru” and one “Hello Kitty.” All vinyl soft side.

Well, poo.

I was really hoping to find a good solid plastic or metal Phantom Menace lunchbox of Qui-Gon or a cute “Lady & the Tramp.” But no. I have to go with something vinyl at a specialty shop.

So, tell me. What is a parent to do if their child loses or breaks their lunchbox during the school year? Kids do that. Why doesn’t anyone carry lunchboxes on hand? Are they passe and only for those strange people like me and Johanna who like to use them for lunches or purses?

I finally went with the Toy Story one because it was cheaper and didn’t have a thermos. I wasn’t planning to use the thermos in any case. It will do until “Back to School” season comes back around again. Then, I can get what I really want.

Hmmmm. My body seems to be trying to get back on track again. I’ve started my cycle 2 weeks early with a serious vengence. No fooling around here. Last time, I started it 2 weeks late and it was a bit weak. I hope this is the last hiccup.

Strange thought: Starting my cycle, unexpectedly on Halloween, isn’t some sort of sign, is it?

Why yes, I was watching “The Seventh Sign” earlier. Why do you ask?

“On the Day of the Dead when the Year too dies…” - Susan Cooper

Tarot Card for the Day: King of Swords, Reversed

All Things New.

For my first day of work, the morning commute treated me to a truly horrific ride into my brand new job. Luckily for me, I was still there before most everyone else. I sat down and since no one really knew what to do with me, I just started pouring over all of the online documentation and tours of the product.

It’s pretty keen! By 2:30pm, I had dragged Johanna in to a ‘demo presentation’ that I had created on the fly. It was only 9 slides but I used a lot of the cool functionality of the product. She seemed to think it was pretty neat, too. Either that or she was just indulging me like the friend that she is. *grin*

Got home around 6pm. My body and tummy were yelling that it was 7pm. So, I was tired and grouchy. My body aches from the fierce cycle its going through.

Got a call from Robert. He’s back in town, Foster City. Fairly close. A lot closer than San Francisco. He’s going to drive over and see me on Wednesday. Which is good, since I can’t go with Johanna to the Pet Shop Boys concert in San Fran that night. *pout* I wanted to go but with my new job, there’ no way for me to make it in time.

DJ came over last night and installed Firetalk on my computer last night. It basically conference calling as recreation, using the computer. It’s interesting but I’m still reserving judgement. I can see myself getting completely into it or just forgetting about it all together. I’ll have to try it out more to see. Take a look at the website.

Tarot Card for the Day: Page of Cups, Reversed

Psychotic…

Rufus was not doing his job very well last night. I did not like my dreams at all.

It's very incoherent but I remember that I, and a bunch of people, were trapped in a house and fleeing these horrible, tiny monsters. They looked like the spaceship eating monsters from the movie, "Lost in Space." Only, they weren't more than an inch long. I know there was some other story on top of all this about a seduction or something. I remember running with friends and hiding, trying to make sure I wasn't eaten.

At one point, I remember insisting that a friend shoot me in the head with a gun. I remember thinking that suicide would be preferred over being consumed alive. The man shot me and I felt the tiny bullet bounce around inside my head. It hurt the roof of my mouth but that's it. I was furious that I wasn't dead. The guy shrugged and said that that was all I could expect from a .22 caliber bullet.

Then, the tiny monsters broke into the room we were in. I crawled on top of a table. For some reason, I decided that if I was going to be eaten, I might as well go and get it over with. I got off the table, sitting down in the middle of all of the swarming monsters. I remember thinking as I was quickly consumed (though, I did not die), that it hurt a lot less than the bullet in the head did. Then, I woke up.

You know what? On second thought, I'm sure Rufus was doing a good job protecting me in my dreams. I would hate to see the dreams he managed to stop last night.

ME: You want to hear something funny?

CUSTODIUS: sure!

ME: The guy in the cube next to me is named "Chris Rose." So, I keep hearing the name, "Mr. Rose." - And I keep thinking of Eric Rose whenever I hear it. [Eric Rose is Custodius’ old Bedlam’s Rest character.]

CUSTODIUS: ::laughs::

ME: :)

CUSTODIUS: That is Funny,,,

ME: Yep.

CUSTODIUS: Great, Just what you need, a psychotic, magic wielding, multiple-personality vampire sitting next to you,.

ME: Almost as bad - he's in marketing.

CUSTODIUS: ack! WORSE!

ME: *laugh*

Tarot Card for the Day: King of Wands, Reversed

Storytelling.

Da boss gave me actual work yesterday. It was cool. A really meaty crash bug to figure out. This bug crashes the computer so hard that you have to hard reboot or power cycle the machine - as in, unplug it. Now, -that's- a bug.

It took me half the day to figure out all the permutations on how it occurred, 100% of the time. I spent the rest of the day working on how to create a workaround for it. Unfortunately, it appears to be one of those nasty bugs that you can't find a workaround for.

I'm really enjoying working here so far. Good company. Good people. Cool product. It's nice to be happy going to work again. I mean, if you have to do the 9-5 thing, doing something you like with people you like is a bonus.

Besides, whether I admit or not, I need the schedule of working to help me schedule my life. Otherwise, I just fritter away my days.

I was chatting with a friend of mine yesterday and somehow, we got to talking about stocks and working. He's just clued me in the fact that he's considering 'retiring.' This guy is an engineer, is in his 30's, has a nice house, a nice car (two, actually), a plane and (much to the wistful chagrin of numerous females in the area) a devoted, beloved, beautiful and completely sweet girlfriend.

I was a little stunned and a lot envious of this revelation of “sometime in the not too distant future” possible retirement. He is working now because he's 'not bored, yet.' He's considering retiring to either teach snowboarding in the winter or as he says "More seriously, I'm considering "retiring" back to academia if I can find a nice little college that would let me do what I want. ... Teach the courses I'm interested in, poke at interesting problems and ignore all the political crap that made me give up on universities last time :-)"

He and I have some of the same goals - retire early and follow our loves. It looks like he'll be the one to make it; the one that we all look up to and think, "I want to be just like him when I grow up."

I had dinner with Robert last night. It was so good to see him. I swear, each time we meet, it’s like we’ve never parted. It’s such a good feeling. We talked about the normal things: work, SO, weight, funnies and such. He showed me pictures of his honeymoon and I got to watch him go all goo-goo eyed thinking about Kelly. It’s so sweet. I told him a bit about Duvessa from Tales of the Iridium Rose . He was highly amused and told me I was a great storyteller. *grin*

We got to talking about Portland again. Eventually, he and Kelly are planning to move there… someday, to be near family and friends. It’s made me long for the city again. I got that itch to get up and go again. Someday, I would like to return there. Maybe I will convince Alex and Johanna to go with me.

Tarot Card for the Day: Eight of Cups

Plot? What Plot?

It does appear that another one of my friends has found both Johanna and my journals. Hiya Kevin! The esteemed “Dr. Kevin Jones” was the gentleman I was talking about yesterday who was discussing ‘retirement.’ He is an engineer who is extremely smart and very talented.

We always tease him about being THE ‘Dr. Kevin Jones’ because so many of us look up to him and his life. I told him yesterday that I thought he was a great person. He laughed at me and told me I obviously didn’t know him very well. Part of me was feeling, “So, we have to remedy that situation - I’ll have to have you and Colette over for dinner.” The other part of me was feeling, “Leave me my fantasies!”

Kevin is one of the few people I know who has determinedly gone through ALL of Johanna and my journal archives. I guess it’s because he knows us and finds it all very interesting.

I started running the college game last night. As I had forgotten it until about 4pm yesterday, I didn’t have any of my plots out on paper. So, I went with my minor plotline… which, of course, my players have reacted so totally unexpectedly to, I’ve had to mentally rewrite the plotline on the fly.

That’s what I love about my players. “Plotline? What plotline? Oh… THIS plotline.” *fold*spindle*mutilate* “There you go!”

Tarot Card for the Day: Four of Pentacles, Reversed

Dune… Arrakis… Desert Planet

I finished reading Dune last night. It’s really a very good book. Rich in imagery and character interaction. Frank Herbert is such an impressive author. It makes me both depressed and determined. I wonder if I could ever write an epic story like that. Then, I find myself determined to do so.

What is it about great stories that make the reader remember and quote them long after they’ve been read? Or makes a person go back to read and reread them again? I know there are some books that I love that others can’t stand. And there are books I can’t stand that others rave about.

I think my friend Eric told it to me best one day when he paid me a very high compliment on a story I had written. He said, “Wow. I got so into the story that I forgot all about spelling and grammer. All I wanted to do was find out what happened next.”

It was a wonderful feeling. It was the story that mattered.

Speaking of stories, I’ve been working on Through Raphael’s Ring again. I don’t know what happened. I think it’s working that makes my creative wake up. Maybe I need the balance of work and play to have the urge to write. Then again, maybe I was just on vacation and my muse needed a rest, too. We’ll see if I manage to finish the rough draft of the story this weekend. Maybe. No promises.

Finished my first week of work at my new job and I’m still smiling. This is a great sign for me. And the company is doing very well. We have an every Friday afternoon company meeting where we all get together and talk about anything of interest dealing with the company. It was a very positive afternoon. Lots of sales and we just opened our European office.

Very promising things headed our way.

Tarot Card for the Day: Seven of Cups, Reversed

Nada

Villains By Necessity

Yesterday, I got totally caught up in the book I was reading, Villains By Necessity, by Eve Forward (daughter to Robert L. Forward). It’s a really fun fantasy novel that reads like an AD&D game. The premise is that so many good Heroes have vanquished so much of the dark that the world had become almost completely unbalanced with Good overcoming all Evil. In fact, there seemed to be only a handful of villains left. Forced to work together to save the world from being completely sublimated and lead by the last druidess in the world, the group seeks the key that will open up the most powerful DarkPortal of them all, and thus, returning the world to balance.

It’s well worth the read as a fun, not too serious novel. But, it also brings up an interesting concept that I’ve always believed: There can be no good without evil and no evil without good.

If good overcomes all evil, then the world would be sublimated into nothing more than a pure white energy that would end all life as we know it. I’m not sure there would be another ‘life’ in that energy.

If evil overcomes all good, then the world would curl in on itself, consuming itself in death until there was nothing left. There would be no life. Only death and darkness.

But, if everything was in perfect balance, all would stagnate and stasis would occur. No light. No dark. No good. No evil.

So, based on the premise from above, the ‘perfect’ world is one that is in constant change but hovering about an acceptable median.

Is that what chaos is about? Or, perhaps entropy? The constant flux and change and destruction just so there can be the attempts to tame, calm and build?

I don’t know but it sure is fun to ponder if you like twisting your brain in odd ways.

Tarot Card for the Day: Wheel of Fortune

Along for the Ride

I managed to write a couple thousand words on Through Raphael’s Ring yesterday. I’m almost to the climatic finish of this first part. It encompasses the dream I had back in early September. I’ve basically been bulling my way through the tough parts, planning to go back and edit - filling in and fleshing out the descriptions and such later.

I’ve planned out seven more parts. Well, sorta planned. I’ve got a basic idea of where the story is going to go and how I’m going to wrap it all up. But, for now, it’s not even a skeleton. It’s mostly just a vague concept dealing with the most basic of archetypical storylines.

This will be the first non-gaming, serious writing I’ve done in a LONG time. It feels good. To really create something on my own. As much as I love writing about my characters and the games I’m in, I sort of feel like I’m cheating when I write about them because it all comes so easy to me. All I have to do is remember the game or to imagine my character in some interesting situation. The story is there. I just go along for the ride.

I figure my mom and Johanna will be first to read Through Raphael’s Ring (part one) once I’m finished with it. Mom, because she’s really interested in the story and because she’s a good editor. Johanna because she’s a vicious (and I mean that in the most complimentary way) editor and I’m going to ask for the ‘nice’ editor to look at the story.

Between the two of them, I figure they’ll catch 90% of the mistakes.

Tarot Card for the Day: Two of Wands, Reversed

Cameo Appearances.

I’ve been working like crazy on Through Raphael’s Ring. I ended up adding an extra scene that I had not originally planned on but realized that I needed. It’s all because of John from “Journal of a Writing Man.” If you’ve never read this journal, you really should. He has distinctive character about him that is truly enjoyable.

In any case, I decided my protagonist needed a friendly, grandfatherly person to identify with and talk to. John immediately came to mind. Him and his two cats. So, I emailed him and asked. He was pretty cool about the whole thing. So, now I have a great new scene giving John and his cats cameo appearances. This probably won’t be the last time for it, too. Also, I’ve promised him a copy of the story when it’s done. (Which is not until after it has been edited in a major way.)

So, I’m getting closer to finishing the first part!

My weekly two hour homage to the one-eyed god was in full swing last night.

Buffy: Willow looks really good in leather! I really like the band “Shy.” I wonder if that’s really her singing. Giles needs a job in a desperate way. OK. Episode-wise, I really enjoyed it. It centered on Oz meeting another werewolf - a female werewolf who gives Willow a run for her money on her man. First, I have always liked Oz. Second, it really struck home to watch Willow in pain over the whole guy issue. It sucked that Oz had to go. I wonder for how long. But, they way they presented it, it was necessary.

Oh yeah, Spike’s back in town. Only, it was a short cameo appearance as he got nabbed by the mysterious trio in camoflauge. That was surprising.

However, next week’s episode teaser was disturbing. Willow better NOT be leaving the show.

Angel: For the first time since the show started, I didn’t care for the episode and actually thought Buffy was much better. The whole sensitive issue and training was silly. And you know they are going to drag out the whole sexual tension thing between Angel and Kate. The writing was good but… the whole episode just didn’t sit well with me.

I’ve started reading “Yarrow” by Charles De Lint, one of my all time favorite modern day fantasy writers. He writes about Celtic fantasies set in modern day Ottawa, Canada. His characters and imagery are rich and intriguing.

“Yarrow” is about a fantasy writer who writes up her dreams because they are filled with her friends and wonderful stories. Her dreams actually link into a world called “Otherworld” and someone has stolen her dreams. An evil, dangerous someone. Somehow, she has to discover this person and get her dreams back.

It is interesting to me because it blurs the line between dreams and reality. That happens to me occassionally. It happened to my yesterday afternoon after I got home from work. I took a nap in my chair but I wanted to make sure I did not sleep too long, so I kept opening my eyes to glance at the clock. My chair faces my computer which has SETI@HOME on it. I opened my eyes several times and discovered that it had become 7pm somehow. A full hour later than I wanted to sleep. Worried that I’d never get to sleep, I told myself I should get up. I stood up, looked back at the chair and saw myself there. Then I woke up again, looked at the clock and it was 6pm. I knew I was really awake this time because my hands were asleep. It was just a bit weird to experience.

Will wonders never cease!! I received the below email late last night. Something I never ever thought I'd see. Elaine is (CENSORED) from Story of a Liar. A story about the dangers of dealing with an online romance brought into real life. Lies and betrayal. You know the story.

To: skitten@best.com
Subject: what a fool i was

i dont know if this is your email still

but there was some things i wanted to say, what ia fool i was and i finally kicked mykal out, his dad sent him back east. he left me with a few debts that i am trying to pay off. I wish i would of listened to what you were saying then i wouldnt of gone through the hell i went through.

anyway

just wanted you to know that he is no longer on the west coast

elaine

I haven't responded to her yet. I will. I'm just not sure what I'll say. Part of me feels vindicated. "I told you so." Part of me feels very sorry for her. I'm going to add this email to the bottom of the story as an update. It's just too necessary. As much as she was a witch to me, she was hurt by him, too.

Tarot Card for the Day: Temperance

Fifth Place Winner!

Surprise! Surprise! I got a letter yesterday from the Sparrowgrass Poetry Forum stating that I had been chosen as a fifth place winner in the contest I entered back in late August. The letter reads:

"... CONGRATULATIONS! Your poem "Role Play" has been chosen as a fifth place winner in Sparrowgrass Poetry Forum's Poetic Achievement Award poetry contest. We received thousands of entries and so many were of such excellent quality that being selected as a winner is indeed an honor.

We are currently having your certificate prepared. Please sign and return the bottom portion of this letter, and we will send you a check for the amount of your prize money along with the certificate of merit.

Your prize also include an extra free copy of the Spring 2000 Poetic Voices of America that will be sent to you as soon as this edition is published in March of 2000. …"

WOW! This is the first time I actually ever won anything because of my poetry. I'm actually winning MONEY and a free copy of the book! *stunned* (I know it's less that $25 as that is what the fourth prize winner gets.) There is 1-1st place, 1-2nd place, 2-3rd place, 4-4th place and 30-5th place winners.

Now, the funny thing is, two days ago, I received the generic, "Dear Poet" letter explaining that the Spring 2000 contest was over, that my poem was in it and that the top award winners have been chosen. It invited me to enter into the next contest and that a list of winners had been included with the letter. I had looked at the included list and missed my name. In fact, when I got the congratulation letter, I thought it was a scam and dug up the first list of winners to compare the two. To my surprise, I was wrong! I found my name on both (identical) lists! I really had won fifth place!! WOW!!

And "Roleplay?" isn't even one of my best poems! I am so stoked! And, of course, I'm going to enter into the next contest. Maybe I can do better than 5th place.

*Whew* OK. The first splat of the first part of "Through Raphael's Ring" which happens to be titled, "Pangborn Nomads" is done. I've finished the writing and the first once over edit of the draft. Now, I have to put it away for a week or so before I can do a second round edit. THEN, I hand it over to Johanna and my Mom for technical and conceptual critiques. That's going to be scary.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Swords

Happy Fan Girl

I finished reading "Yarrow" yesterday. Yep. Swallowed it whole. It was a great book. I even read the 'this is not real, this is fiction' portion. Good thing, too. I've discovered that Charles De Lint has his own website!! That is just too cool. I spent a lot of time going through it and discovered that there are a lot of Charles De Lint novels out there that I don't have! Oh, rapture! More books to hunt down, buy and read!

He even has an email address up there and I do plan to write him soon, but I've decided to give the squealing fan girl in me a few days to dance around and calm down. I don't want to be too incoherent when I write him. I do want to express my admiration and pleasure at his writing but I don't want to come off a bimbo.

But, until then… *SQUEAL* Charles De Lint has a website!!! *happy dance*

I've finally decided to do it. I'm going to sign up for the EROS workshop for erotic writing. It's a big step for me. Scares me to pieces. But, if I really want to get my erotica looked at, I really need to have someone other than me critique it. This workshop is filled with published writers and editors. People who do this professionally. And, one by one, I'm going to be handing over my babies to be inspected. *mrph*

But, I know, the only way I'm going to get better is if people who know what they are doing critique my work.

Tarot Card for the Day: Death, Reversed

Unhappy GM

I’m still thinking about the game I ran on Thursday. The College game. It was a REALLY bad game. For me, at least. Again, all of my players reacted in ways I didn’t expect. Extreme ways. I ended up having to pull out some of my other plotlines way too soon. My one little plotline got so blown out of proportion that I really have no idea on how to fix things.

It’s gotten me to the point that I’m not sure I want to run anymore. Of course, Rich and Greg aren’t listening to that. Eventually, I’ll calm down and deal with this but for now, I’m was depressed about it all.

Spent the evening with Johanna. We had dinner at China Chili and watched Blade then Aeon Flux. It was a nice fluffy evening. Just me and her, hanging out and talking. Sometimes, I don’t think we do that enough. Sometimes, I figure it’s a good thing we don’t. *grin*

Tarot Card for the Day: Ten of Cups, Reversed

Wanting…

It hit me full force yesterday. The restless “DO SOMETHING” feeling. I had slept late, finished reading “Werehunter” - a collection of short stories by Mercedes Lackey and had lunch. I was left with pacing the house. I didn’t want to read. I didn’t have any urge to write and TV couldn’t hold my interest. Suddenly, I really got the urge to jump in the car and go to some place where I could walk. Some place in nature. The beach. But, I don’t know how to get to the beach… or to Lake Elizabeth and I really didn’t want be alone. I needed to be with people. It was driving me crazy.

Then, I talked to Lisa. She invited me to come over and go to the park with her and kids. I jumped at the chance. When Rob got home, we packed up and headed to Kennedy park. There were droves of parents and young children. Lisa and I went walking, leaving Rob to watch the kids for a little bit and then the three of us sat and watched the kids with their boundless energy running and yelling and jumping with all the other kids.

It was rather pleasant in a surreal sort of way for me. All of those parents and kids having a pleasant Saturday afternoon. Part of me wondered if I’ll ever have an afternoon like that with my own kids. Part of me doesn’t want to have that. I really don’t think I’m cut out to be a mom. I’m too selfish.

It made me think about myself and the odd dichotomy that is me. The person who sometimes gets really, really ticked when people don’t follow the rules who is the same person who wants to throw out all of the rules and dreams of a fantastical future and thinks that there aren’t enough dreamers in the world as is.

I really don’t want to be an office drone. Just a cog in the machine. I like being a QA Engineer because I can be creative. But, on the other hand, I’ve very methodical when I test.

I want a life that involves something I’m interested in… something that involves something I can’t explain… something that I sense is out there but haven’t seen… yet.

I want…

I want…

I want… something it seems I can’t have.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Cups, Reversed

Terpsichorean

I learned a new word: Terpsichorean

First, I saw it on a car’s license plate border. Just the word: Terpsichorean. That’s it. Of course, I wondered what it meant. Was it a last name? Was it an actual word? Questions swirled in my mind. I promised myself I’d look it up when I got home and promptly forgot about it. Then, while I was reading my latest book, “Polgara, the Sorceress” by David Eddings, I suddenly came across that word again! It was surprising.

You all have to admit, it is an unusual word. It has to be an unusual word to get my attention. But, to encounter this very unusual word twice in one day - once on the a license plate border and once in a fantasy novel - begged my immediate attention. Of course, I had to look it up in Webster’s Dictionary to figure out what it was.

Now I know and so do you.

Transformation

Restless, needing feeling.
Craving, wanting appealing.
So strong, leaves me reeling.
Falling to the floor.

Pacing, racing thought.
Seeking, reaching, something sought.
So strong, feeling caught.
Leaves me scrambling for the door.

Knowing, glowing, inner sight.
Folding, molding, taking to flight.
Crying, flying, feeling so right.
Finally, there’s something more!

Tarot Card for the Day: Page of Pentacles, Reversed

Insouciant

Today’s word of the day is: Insouciant

Johanna used it on me and since I didn’t know immediately what it meant, I had to look it up. A neat word, but not as neat as ‘terpsichorean’.

Speaking of which, I leaned, once more, what an uneducated barbarian I am. I discovered that ‘Terpsichorean’ is based on one of the nine Muses. Terpsichore is the Muse of dancing. Makes me wish I had taken up Latin in school. I wouldn’t feel so unintelligent. Ah, well. I believe I shall insouciantly continue on my way, picking up interesting verbage as I go along.

Work is doing well. I’m handing in my first set of test plans today to be happily shredded and reworked by the QA Department. This will be my first ‘tangible’ result of my assignment. I just hope it isn’t too far off the mark. I know we (me and my boss) are both coming from different directions. And that’s the point. To see things with a new set of eyes and to provide a good insight into testing.

Tarot Card for the Day: Six of Cups

Homage to the One-Eyed God.

Work was pretty good. Handed in my series of test plans yesterday to be reviewed. Da boss seemed to be fairly impressed with them. Always a good sign.

Buffy: Decent episode with only a few gripes. It was kind of amusing how Riley discovered that he really did like Buffy and then choked when he tried to tell her. Also, I thought Riley was special but I did not expect him to be one of the trio in the woods! Being a college guy by day and a demon hunter by night. That surprised me. And the Philosophy teacher was the one in charge!

The conversation between Spike and Willow about how bitable she is was beautiful. The fight between Riley and Buffy was cool. That will be amusing to watch when they find out about each other. Of course, you know that eventually Riley, Buffy, the Philosophy teacher and Giles will be working together.

Gripes & Questions - what happened to the trio’s masks when they went hunting Spike? When the heck did the campus become a major psuedo military government experimental lab? How did the dorms become these lockable jails? How long has this been going on?

Angel: Well… it was amusing. Nothing too earth shattering. I found myself laughing a couple of times. Especially when Cordelia was beating the heck out of demon-Doyle with the platter. It’s sweet that Cordelia is starting to fall for Doyle but you know it’s going to suck when she discovers he’s half demon.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Swords, Reversed

Money, Doctors and Court, Oh my!

Have you seen any of the new State quarters? When I first encountered them, I reacted negatively to them. Frankly, they had surprised me. I remembered that THEY had been talking about them for a little bit but I didn’t know they were reality until I picked two up as change. I scowled, thinking how they didn’t feel right or sound right or… feel like ‘real’ money. After that, I ignored them.

Just recently, I rediscovered them when I discovered I had the Delaware, the Connecticut and the Georgia quarters. This time, I stopped and really looked at them and I smiled. Actually, they were kind of neat, after all. This was history in the making. Of course, I figure these coins will confuse the heck out of the archeologists of the future.

Also, I’ve been looking at the new One Dollar Coin that’s to be released in the year 2000. It’s pretty neat. I think it will do a lot better than the Susan B because it’s going to be a gold color and the edge will be different. I really think we do need a one dollar coin, though I’ll bet the QA for it is going to be extensive.

OK. I’ve decided it is high time I got myself a family doctor again. I really, really need to go see one. My period cycle is jumping all over the place - from the regular 27 days to 42 and now, for the second time, 16 days. Excuse me, but I don’t think ANYONE wants to deal with me having a full cycle every 16 days. Also, I’m over weight, have high blood pressure and have discovered a lump where there shouldn’t be any. So, I’m a touch concerned.

So, I should be able to just pull out my handy-dandy Health insurance primary care book. Should be easy, yes? No. I called all of the Fremont doctors in the book. ALL (and I do mean ALL) of the doctors in the book did not reside at that number or the number itself was wrong. Finally, I gave up and called the 1-800 number for the local hospital for a referral.

All I’m asking for is a doctor who lives near me, that takes my insurance, that has dealt with weight problems and female issues. Preferably, a female doctor. Is that too much to ask?

I got a ticket for running a red light at the end of last month. It’s my first ticket. I’m to go to Court next Tuesday. I’m still waiting for the “courtesy” notification and waiting for my citation to hit the automatic system so it will give me SOME hint of how much of a fine this is going to cost me. The cop told me he didn’t know for sure but he thought it might be something like $275. $275! Yikes!

Like Karen (who is having her own traffic court problems), I’m not too keen on the idea of traffic court. OK. So, I’m terrified. I’ve already bullied (pleaded and begged) Casey to go with me on Tuesday. He’s been through it enough times that he’s very nonchalant and he knows exactly what to do.

I talked to Casey about things and he said that if I’m not in the system by Tuesday, there is a fifty-fifty chance that my case will just be dismissed. That would be cool. However, and more likely, they’ll just set a continuance. We’ll see.

Tarot Card for the Day: Ace of Swords

Animal Cams

It was a slow day yesterday. I spent a lot of time watching the PandaCam and the PuppyCams.

The PandaCam is of the new baby panda in the San Diego Zoo. It’s just old enough to start sitting up and wriggling around. Very cute.

The PuppyCam is a link to a series of humane societies all over the United States with cams showing off their animals that are up for adoption. Very cool. If I were any closer to Kansas City, I’d own me four adorable kittens.

That’s all folks. Go watch some animals.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Star

News from the Homefront

Got an email from my mom telling me and my sister that my Dad has the gout in one of his little toes. It's amusing to me in a ... historical? sense, as I didn't think people today got the gout. So, my father is stuck at home in a forced idleness that is driving him crazy. He has to stay off his feet, take medicine, drink LOTS of liquids and elavate the foot. He is banned from certain foods - his favorite, of course. Now, of course, my father is stir crazy and lonely. My mom suggested that I do give him a call. Which I decided to do once she told me, oh, btw, your father shaved his head.

Huh? My dad? The one afraid of losing his hair?

"... You "heard" right. Your Father is completely bald. An "egg" head. He literally shaved (and shaves-ongoing) his head. Then puts baby oil on it to keep the skin from drying out. Has a little strip of chin hair in the middle for a beard and his mustache - which he's growing handle bars for. What a treat!!! ..." - Mom

(Makes him sound like Cypher from The Matrix.)

So, I did call. We had a nice chat about his gout, my job, his egg head - he's thinking of letting his hair grow back for the winter for warmth and a myriad of other things. It should make for an interesting Thanksgiving.

Well. Strangely enough, I didn’t have to run around anywhere Friday night. So, I spent a lot of the evening working on my newest pet web project: NAW San Francisco Bay Area Journal site and inviting SF Bay Area journalists to join. It’s not a webring. It’s a website devoted only to OLJs written by people in the SF Bay Area. Personally, I think it will be easier to navigate than a webring.

Tarot Card for the Day: Strength

Star Wars Stuff.

Well, now that it has definitely been established that there won’t be any down time between the last Tales of the Iridium Rose Star Wars game and this coming one, I’ve gone and finally posted the adventure from last time. Currently, my character, Duvessa is the ultimate ‘fish out of water.’ I hope you enjoy: Shifting Sands & Daring Deals.

More Star Wars stuff. As you know, I’ve basically taken over Bob’s Star Wars game with his blessing. I was a bit nervous going to the game by myself. Alex was feeling tired and knew in the next couple weeks due to company and holidays, he wouldn’t have any alone time after last night. Heaven forbid that he actually spends a night alone, cuddling up to his wife! What was that man thinking!!?? *hehehe* (Hope you guys had a great time!)

So, I came in ready to do battle because Alex’s has always been my ‘silent backup’ - if I ever got in trouble, I’m pretty sure, Alex would be able to help me dig myself out it. My fears were for naught. The guys were all in good humor and easy going. They reacted -mostly- as I expected they would.

However, they solved the plotline within only a couple of hours. (They were smart. They did things the easy way.) So, I had to pause in the middle of the game and get Bob and Mike new characters because their characters weren’t going to be available for the rest of my GMing. I expected Mike to put up a fuss but I somehow masterfully coached it in terms of an award. *hehehe* OK. I was sneaky. So, now we are all on Coruscant. They all ran straight into they next plotline. (One of the characters, literally.) Mike and Bob are playing a pair of brothers. One is a bounty Hunter. One is a smuggler.

I was really surprised. These guys, who have mostly been into the hack and slash style of gaming really got into the role-playing last night. It wasn’t too serious most of the time but they all stayed in character. I was pleased. I ended up assigning everyone ‘homework’ (poor Pavel) and I’ll be sending out a survey to them in the future.

Just as I have run out of things to read and I was pondering actually picking up some of the Star Wars novels, wondering which ones to start with, Howard, one of the Star Wars players from Bob’s game, gave me the answer. He is going to start his own fluffy, fun Star Wars game where every player (except one) is going to be a Jedi Trainee from the Jedi Academy. One player is going to actually be a Jedi Knight and in charge of this motley crew. So, I guess I better go out and find some of the Jedi Academy books to figure out which kind of Jedi Trainee I’m going to be. Cool!

Tarot Card for the Day: Page of Cups

*nada*

Material Girl.

In the past week or so, I have suddenly been struck with a serious case of the "I WANT!s" like I have never been hit before. I think it's my impending status of becoming debt free. The child in me is saying, "Oh, goody! Now we can afford all of this other stuff that we've always wanted!"

It's hard for my responsible side to calm the child and caution her that we must be patient. We must first build an acceptable savings account. We must be sure that we are no longer living from paycheck to paycheck. That is just no way to live. You never know what unexpected (expensive) event may occur. (Case in point, Traffic court I’m going to this morning.)

Of course, like any child, there is the begging and pleading. "Can't we just get [some item]. Just that? It's only one thing." It's very hard for me and my impulse spending urges. A good example is my latest Amazon.com purchase. I just ordered the "Chronicles of Narnia" and the "Jedi Academy" trilogy. Did I need them? Of course not. Did I want them? Heck, yeah! I loved the Narnia series as a child and well, if you've been reading my journal, you know I've had Jedi on the brain for months now.

Here's a list of some of the things I've been wanting lately.

BIG, BIG ticket item: My own house and furnishings.

Big ticket items: New car stereo, New desk, New office chair, New office plastic thing for chair to roll on, Digital camera, DVD player, A new mattress and box spring.

Small ticket items: 2 extra large emerald or forest green towels and matching washcloths, T-Shirt sheets - California King size. Whites, Dark Blues* or Dark Purples, Rack holders for CDs, DVDs, Video tapes, Silk bag for my tarot cards, Gift certificates to Lane Bryant, book stores or Suncoast.

DVDs: Blade Runner - The Director's Cut, Fifth Element, Terminator, Terminator 2 - Judgment Day, Highlander - 10th Anniversary Director's Cut, Time Bandits - Criterion Collection, Total Recall, True Lies. (This is just to name a few. Once, I went through Amazon.com and picked out just a bunch of DVDs that I would like to have. I was shocked that the number ranged in the 40's.)

Tarot Card for the Day: The Sun, Reversed

Anticlimactic.

It’s the little things that make the world go around for me. John of “Journal of a Writing Man” read his journal entry to us yesterday. It was so neat! He lives in Somerset, England and has the most melodic English voice. It was almost like listening to Masterpiece theatre, but without all the pretension. I’m really hoping this will be a semi regular event. And, of course, I’m wondering how I could do the same thing. I think, though, I would only record my entries once a week and I’m not sure I would archive them online or not. (*hmmmm* Maybe that’s what I’ll use my @home website for…)

Traffic court was rather anticlimactic. Casey and I arrived at 08:20. The Traffic court window opened at 08:30 and I was out of there by 09:30. All the lady told me was, “If your courtesy notice hasn’t arrived in 2 weeks, call this number.” That was it. It wasn’t traumatic or anything like that. Casey noted to me that they cannot extend past 45 days. So, if nothing has happened by January 7th, I’m free and clear.

Though, I must admit, showing my provincial side, my first thought when looking at the rest of the people in the line was, “I don’t belong here. I’m not like these people.” Elitist? Yeah. I know. I shouldn’t have such uncharitable, arrogant thoughts, but I do. I’m only human. All I can do is recognize the thoughts and deal with them.

BUFFY: Part One of the Buffy/Angel crossover. Well. It was OK. I liked Buffy’s determination to have a ‘traditional’ Thanksgiving dinner intermixed with the problem of an Indian revenge spirit. Angel was a little angsty as her skulking, hidden protector, but OK. However, I found the defeating of the bad guy rather anticlimactic. But, Xander’s little “oops” at the end was amusing and I can’t decide if I feel sorry for Spike’s sad state or not. I hope Spike’s not wimpy for long.

ANGEL: Part Two of the Buffy/Angel crossover. It was a continuation of the story from Buffy, as in, what happens next. It was a better episode than the first part but lot more sad. Imagine having 24 hours of your fondest dream with the one person that you love more than anything else in the world come true. Now, imagine being forced by circumstances to choose to not have that 24 hours have existed - except only in YOUR memory (and not theirs). This appears to be Angel and Buffy’s final good-bye.

Tarot Card for the Day: Strength

Good Things.

I made my first internet phone call yesterday with Dialpad. My mom didn't even know I was using the computer to call her until I told her. One friend did comment that my voice wasn't as 'smooth' as normal but that might be the mike. I don't know. But, it's a good thing. I can call people long distance now and not worry too much about the cost.

Another good thing. I went to the doctor's yesterday. I went because of a number of reasons. Most of which dealt with my weight and how to deal with it. Of course, it comes down to counting calories, watching fat intake and exercising. And, it turns out most of my ailments will probably be reduced or disappear as I lose weight. She gave some literature to read. I'm still debating on how to go about it.

But, the main good thing was the fact that that unknown lump in my right armpit - which I've actually been quite worried about - was not anything major. It's just a 'swollen oil gland.' I have to say I've never been so relieved. I was really afraid that something might be wrong with me.

Another good thing. I'm going to see my family for Thanksgiving dinner and to visit with them. I'm not going to stay there that long. Long enough to visit and enjoy my family without getting on each others' nerves. Then, I'm going to go to Rich and Cil's house to visit with them and various other friends who are gathering there. It should be a good time. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm bringing cheesecake to both places. Another good thing. A raspberry cheesecake to one and a regular cheesecake to the other. I just have to decide which to which. I adore cheesecake.

Tarot Card for the Day: King of Swords

Fried Turkey??

Wow. Thanksgiving was an interesting day for me. I got to my parents place and found out instead of having the usual b-b-qued turkey, we were trying something new: Fried Turkey. Now, I had seen and heard of this before but, it weird to me.

The first sign of trouble was when the turkey was put into fryer (that was outside) and it dropped 100 degrees in temperature and wouldn’t rise any higher than that. Mom and I looked at each other but didn’t say anything. We both had a bad feeling about this.

An hour later, they pull out the turkey and it doesn’t look anything like it should have. On TV it was this dark crispy brown. And, of course, when Dad cut into it, it wasn’t cooked all the way. Dad sent Scott out to start up the fryer again. Mom and I when into ‘keep Dad from getting upset’ mode. He was pretty disappointed.

That’s when Scott came back in and said that there was something wrong with the fryer - the hose seemed to be leaking and when he was adjusting it, the flame ‘bit him.’ (Now, I forgot that this was my firebug brother, so I dismissed it as him being careless.)

So, we all troupe outside to look at the fryer and Dad discovers, yes, there was some sort of leak, that the fryer had the potential to get a LOT hotter that it had, and figured out that we just ‘simmered’ the turkey for an hour. He grumbled a little but went to turn off the flame so we could go in and have our Thanksgiving dinner when suddenly, this GOUT OF FLAME erupted from the bottom of the fryer, engulfing my father’s arm!

My mom yelled “Turn it off!!”
My brother leapt to the other valve.
I leapt forward, yelling “DADDY!” because I thought my father was fire.
My father leapt back, shaking his arm.

Fortunately, my dad was OK. Just his arm hair was singed. That’s when my brother said, “See, I told you it bit me.” Then, he showed us his singed arm hair. My dad will be having quite the word or two with the company who makes this particular fryer.

Went back in, microwaved the underdone turkey and had dinner. The rest of the Thanksgiving dinner was good. We had all the usual fixings. By the time dinner was done, we had decided to just throw out the rest of the turkey.

I helped my brother clean up and figured out how to be with him without him driving me crazy. I talked videogames with him. He LOVES PC games. I’ll be getting a bunch of them for our birthday and Christmas. As he talked to me, I got the feeling that he was very lonely most of the time with no one to talk to or, perhaps, no one to really listen to him. So, I really listened to him for almost an hour. I think it went a long way in good karma points between he and I.

Then, I left and went to Rich and Cil’s Thanksgiving dinner. Shauna, Greg, David, Matt, Kevin and half of Cil’s family where there. I didn’t eat really, but I did have some of the turkey. I was really craving it by that time. It was a wonderful evening, though I learned an awful lot about Cil’s brothers and why she says she’s the ‘white sheep’ of her family. Oy, I would not have liked to have known her brothers when we were young.

We stayed up much too late with the topic of conversation bouncing wildly all over the place.

All in all, it was an excellent Thanksgiving and a 1000% better than the “dysfunctional family of the week” Thanksgiving I had last year.

And, it did give me weird dreams last night: Soap Opera - I am a voice actor in a anthropomorphic soap opera that is created by a mental gestalt of the actors.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Cups

Cheddar Cheese, Please.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I went over and played 7th Sea with Alex and his friend Dave who is visiting from … um… where ever it is that he’s visiting from. It doesn’t really matter since Dave will be moving here in a couple of weeks. 7th Sea is a high fantasy RPG that’s a lot like the Star Wars RPG - very cinematic, very boisterous, very not serious. I’m playing a shape shifting explorer from Ussura. I liked it. I got to shoot the main bad guy. “Damn you wench! You’ve destroyed my plans!” (He was casting an uber-nasty spell.)

Then we played in the Star Wars game. Dave’s joined that game, too, as the Twi’lek, Jela’han. Dave played the character very, very well. So, now there are six in the game. It’s a lot larger than I wanted, but oh, well. It seems we need most of the characters. Yahnna’s in charge and the cynic smuggler, Geehan is the imminently suave and cool security, demolitions expert, Dev is the hardcore rebellion pilot, gunnery, conscious of the group, Bob’s new character, Matthew, is the ex-Imperial rebellion warrior and Jela’han is the comedic conman.

In fact, the only character that doesn’t seem to really fit anymore is my character, ex-senator, Jedi wanna-be, (ex) rich girl.

Maybe I caught a little of Johanna’s crankiness yesterday. Maybe it’s because of the sheer amount of pain I was in. (My cycle is FULL swing now and I -hurt- badly. My lower back, cramps, sore muscles. Just about everything between my navel and my knees was in pain yesterday.) Actually, considering the amount of pain I was in, I’m surprised that I butted heads with Alex only once, and in retrospect, he was right. It was something I agreed it in the beginning of the game.

Don’t get me wrong, I really did have a good time at the game. It is very social and a lot of fun. It just seems right now (and I -know- this will change) that all I end up doing is get knocked around and occasionally shoot someone. Of course, this is what happens to everyone.

I know this game is set 5 years before Yavin, so there are no real Jedi anymore but I’m a little frustrated on the whole Jedi thing for my character. Occasionally, I’ll say something about Duvessa becoming a Jedi or working towards it and Alex stomps on me hard, “I never said you’d be a Jedi. I just said the potential is there.” Sometimes, he’ll tease me about my character getting killed off or never making it to being a Jedi. Silly stuff like that. It is just a game. But, in a way, it is like Alex unlocked a candy store, said “Someday, this whole thing might be yours,” handed me a single piece of candy then closed and locked the store again, saying “I never said it -would- be yours. I just said the potential is there.” Yes, very frustrating to the child in me.

Hmmmm. The reminds me. Now that we have our own ship and money, maybe we’ll have some downtime and Duvessa can take the time to learn encryption and decryption and break the code in that Jedi journal. Hopefully, that will set her back on the path again, give her something to do other than trying to stay on Yahnna’s good side. And maybe I’ll feel like I have semi-useful character again.

Hmmm? What’s that? Oh. Yes, sharp cheddar cheese, please.

Tonight is the birthday party for me, Lisa and Trish at Rob and Lisa’s place. I’ve decided that I want to dress up a little, maybe even curl my hair, but I don’t know what I want to wear. Ah, well. I’m sure I’ll find something.

Tarot Card for the Day: Four of Cups

And the Angels Wept with Joy.

Walking around the room, I grumped to myself in a bad mood. I knew it was the irrational mood swing from my wacky hormonal cycle. Then I remembered the birthday party. I wanted dress up some but I didn’t have anything nice to wear. So, what was a girl with a bad attitude to do at a time like this? I know! Go to the mall! It’s crowded and full of grumpy people, too. They couldn’t get me to feel any worse than I already did.

So, shielded by my calm, serene armor of crankiness, I headed to the mall. The drive there was fine and I immediately found a parking spot. Hmmm. So far, so good. Got into the mall and began to dodge people, heading doggedly towards my favorite store. Dodging more people, I wandered around looking at this and that, choosing things that caught my fancy to try on.

Arms loaded, I headed to the changing rooms, grumpy mood still intact and ready to do battle. Amazingly, there was a changing room open and waiting for me. Once in, I steeled myself for my normal disappointing and depressing cycle of trying on and rejecting clothes.

And then lo, the Heavens parted, the Choir sang and the Angels wept with joy…

Everything I tried on fit and looked good… on me, with each other, all at the same time. Three shirts, two dresses and a pair of pants.

Yes, I bought them all.

Humming, I walked out in a daze of happy cheer, headed to my car, absently dodging people, pulled out of the lot and made it home without a hassle. I sat down for lunch and it suddenly dawned on me. I wasn’t in a bad mood anymore. Holiday shopping had actually put me in a good mood.

Will wonders never cease.

I’ve joined a new Not-A-Webring called: WebRats. It’s for writers who keep online journals. I was pretty happy to be asked to join.

So, I went to the Birthday party, looking mighty fine in my new clothes and hair curled. There’s just something incredibly sexy about a long dress with side splits. You can feel them brushing your legs as you walk. Too bad there was no one new there to impress. The only two single guys there were Brook and Dave. Brook is my bud and Dave… well, even if I was his type, probably not a good idea. Ah well. It was nice to get dressed up and to look nice. Just a prelude or foreshadowing of the year (or two) to come.

The party itself was great fun. Much drinking and eating and merry making. And lots of talking. We’ve all haven’t gotten together and just talked like that in a long while.

Tarot Card for the Day: Two of Swords

Lazy Indulgence & Wishful Thinking.

Well, I cleaned up half of my den. (No, I didn’t just shove it all to one side.) Only 2 bags of trash. I may get to the other half tomorrow. We’ll see. I figure if I do a little bit at a time, eventually, I’ll have a clean house.

I spent the rest of the day watching the Outer Limits and Millennium. It was good day of lazy indulgence. I also got to see the X-Files episode with Frank Black (from Millennium). It was really good. It gave a nice sense of closure to the Millennium series. I’m glad I got to see it.

All good stories. It reminds me, one of these days, I really have to get out and see those movies I’ve been wanting to see: “Sleepy Hollow”, “The World is Not Enough” “Toy Story 2” and “Dogma”.

Of course, all of this is making me think about the coming New Year. I would like to throw a big party for it. Partly because I haven’t throw a big party in a while. Partly because I don’t really want to be alone. I know it’s a silly thought. I have two invitations to parties already.

All of this millennium hubbub is making me think of holidays and the future and stuff like that. Thinking about … wishing I had someone special to share it with. It’s supposed to be a special time to share with someone special. Most of the time, I have no real problem being by myself. I’m not really ready to have someone with me right now. But, it’s times like this that make being single stand out like a sore thumb.

They say that Holidays can be the most depressing time of the year. I believe them.

Ah, well. Don’t mind me. I’m just thinking too much again.

Tarot Card for the Day: Nine of Pentacles, Reversed

Continuing.

Getting back to work after the four day weekend was a lot less painful than I imagined it to be. I sat down and worked until lunch and then finished up a couple of things after lunch. But, by 2pm, I was starting to lose steam, not wanting to concentrate on my work any more. Instead, I started pondering writing up the latest episode in the Star Wars Saga - Tales of the Iridium Rose. And I also wandered the net looking for pictures of Mon Calmari and Twi'leks for the Character page for our non-human PCs. Happy for me, I found a couple of good ones.

I also started thinking about Chapter Two of Through Raphael's Ring. The theme for this particular chapter is going to be about Pride and how my main protagonist, Lynn, falls victim to it and then, hopefully, defeats it... You never know with my characters. Some of them like their faults a bit too much.

I've also began pondering adding a physical search with a physically goal/accomplishment to compliment the mental challenges. She has her nemesis and he will always challenge her - but mostly on a mental and emotional level. Perhaps a physical representation of a key of some sort. Or, perhaps something that will assist Jordan, her main (mysterious) supporting character.

Tarot Card for the Day: Queen of Swords, Reversed