November 2004

November 07:Too Many Projects/Hobbies
November 10:OW!
November 18:Who Set Time to Warp Speed?
November 26:Me? Cynical? Maybe Just a Little.

November 7

Too Many Projects/Hobbies
As I sit and ponder in a rare moment of quiet, I realize that I'm really stressed and my head is spinning from "everything" I have agreed to do. Unfortunately, I haven't quite figured out what all it is I have promised to do and the hobbies I am participating it. I think, not actually remembering all of my current obligations is part of what is making me stress. It's part of why I refused to join NaNoWriMo this year as well. So, I'm going to see what I have on my plate (that I remember) and honestly figure out if I can do/participate in them. This is over and above my busy-busy job at Microsoft.

Long Term & Continuing Projects/Hobbies
Sovereign Press/Professional RPG writing. This takes the top slot and priority. This helps me move in the direction I want to go. I have just finished a writing gig on Holy Order of Stars for Dragonlance and I'm eagerly awaiting my next professional gig from them.

NERO Seattle. This is a big project and hobby I have just agreed to take on. This includes a whole lot of writing, story plotting and paperwork. I will be writing up and/or editing all of the race packages. That is fourteen in all. I have agreed to help write up the NERO Seattle GM Bible and Player's Guide. I've also volunteered to do things like create an NPC history binder. Plus, I will be NPCing at events and eventually getting my own character.

Grants Pass. This is the post-apocalyptic anthology that I have started putting together to hopefully sell. I am definitely on my way and I have interest from both a publisher and professional authors.

Evolution. This is a possible RPG world building, fiction writing and/or editing gig. Professional but not for pay - yet. I am still investigating this one. If I like what I hear, this may be a long term project. So far, it sounds very interesting.

Regresser's Evolution. Yes. This novel is not done, yet. It is still on third round edits and is actually next in the queue of my personal writing. As soon as it is done, the query and synopsis letters need to be written and sent out.

Gosstiny. This is the next ticking time bomb of a HUGE personal writing project. I have a story, called Breaking the Chains, that needs to be written. However, the story spans about two and a half decades in a complex set of civilizations. So, I need to write up the Universe bible first. I have a good idea of how to do it but little time. It has not been started but it looms... and begs to be written. It is required to wait until after Regresser's Evolution is done.

Monthly LARPs. I am currently involved in a monthly LARP, Crimson Dawn, that does take up some of my time but I love it too much to give it up. The other LARP, Heirs to the Fall, I believe is about to die a horrible death or I am going to bow out of the game.

Regular Tabletop Gaming. I have two every other week games. One is on the weekend and is pretty casual. One is during the week and pretty regular. I'm beginning to think I am not going to be able to keep up with the weekday game because of my writing obligations.

[A] Night. I have a weekly Anime/Lost/Whatever night that I host on Wednesdays. It is a time sync but I enjoy seeing my friends this night. I don't want to give it up.

The Seattle Field Trip Club. I promised myself that I would do the Seattle tourist and culture tour once I moved here. So, now I'm going to do it. Even if it is just me. Once a month, an event will be planned and attended. Whether it is a tourist event like the Seattle Underground or a culture event like the Symphony or both such as a planned trip to Powell's. Leigh Ann has promised to help me out with this.

LJ Gaming. I'm in a Buffy game on LJ. It takes up time to RP and write journal entries. I want to continue playing with this but I honestly don't know if I have the time to do it justice. I'm still deciding that.

Long Distance Gaming. I promised Rich that I would write up a character for his 7th Sea game and play via email. Also, I promised GregE I would PBE with Chrome Molly. Man, I really want to. Honestly, I do. But, I've now realized that I just can't and feeling guilty about not doing so is too much stress.

Short Term Projects/Hobbies
A Dance of Fate. This is the LARP that Bill and I are going to put on for DundraCon as the troupe Endless Adventures. I have promised to write up the bulk of characters and some of the plots. Then, hand it over to Bill for flushing out and itemization.

The Grants Pass Website. I've decided I need to post a simple website for the Grants Pass anthology. A page that I can always refer people to.

Updating Author sites. I really need to get off my butt and update both of my author sites: Jennifer Brozek and Eden Blackthorn. I have had several publications and acceptances since the last time I updated each. (Edit: Ok. Eden Blackthorn is up-to-date.)

Setting up the Seattle Field Trip Club. It's just going to be a moderated LJ group with people invited to it but it still needs to be set up.

Yep. Looking at the above list, I am a bit overloaded. Also, none of it addresses my desire to continue writing and publishing short stories. (I just got "Tequila Shiver" accepted by "Down & Dirty 3" to be published in May 2005 while "Silk Stockings" is going to be published in "MOIST" in December 2004.) I need to get organized in my to do lists to keep up with what needs to be done when. I've been rather scattered as of late without realizing it. I think, once I get things more organized, the stress and worry will be reduced since I will know what I'm working on when.


Saturday was a day of very girly shopping with Leigh-Ann. I can't remember the last time I went clothes shopping with another female who wasn't my mom. We drove all over the place and I spent a decent amount of money. Some of it on shirts for me. Some of it on costumes for a NERO NPC that popped out of my head at a plot meeting and has now been mightily twisted by the rest of the plot team. The only problem I see with this is me freezing my ass off at the game because the costumes aren't that warm. I also have an idea for my PC character who won't appear until January or February because I need the costume made.

Saturday night, I went out to the Mercury with DaveO and Leigh-Ann. It was a good time. I wrote some really awful (no, really... so awful it might be amusing) drunken poetry based on what I was seeing as I people watched. Seattle doesn't have the same feel as San Francisco but man, I do love to people watch at the Mercury. I would like to go more often. Though, less drinking. TWO drinks (a black orchid and a vampire's kiss) had me on my ass. I think I'm just going to stick to vampire kisses from now on. Less of a kick and better tasting - a mixture of Chambord, Amaretto and a spritzer, I believe. Yum!

You know, the Mercury is really good fodder for writing material. It is a privately own goth club that is hidden away in Seattle that you have to KNOW where it is to get to it. There are no signs advertising it. Just a funky symbol on a non-descript door that doesn't look like it is, in any way, a dance club. Once inside, if you are not a member, you need a member to guest you in. After a while of you coming, someone will start recognizing you and will eventually ask if you want to become a member. You pay your one time fee and then you're in. I'm still a guest. I want to get better clothes for the club and go more often.

Sunday, we had plans for a group of us to visit Pioneer Square and Pike Place Market. All of the boys had to cancel. One had a school emergency. One had a work emergency. One had an SO emergency. So, it was just me and Leigh-Ann again. We had a fabulous time. I am in LOVELOVELOVE with Elliot Bay Books. I truly am. It's an old brick building with lots of old wood stairs and many levels of books. Plus, a café and a reading room downstairs. Just a wonderful place. Plus, we found the cutest paper store called the Paper Cat and an amazing one-of-a-kind crystal, mineral, fossil, rock store called Agate Designs. Unfortunately, everything was really expensive and they don't have a website or a magazine. You have to come there to find the interesting stuff.

It was very full and very fun weekend.


Tarot Card for the Day: Seven of Cups

November 10

Ow!
Let me preface this by saying I'm pretty sure I'm OK now. I'm just going to be sore for a day or two.

I hurt myself tonight while at [A] night. For some reason, my DVD player hates my Ultraviolet disc. I suggested I play it on my computer instead. Hans suggested we go to his place. I was fine with that. I ran to the bathroom, then back to the living room to get my coat, left on the comfy chair, which Leigh-Ann had shifted back to it's proper spot. Unfortunately, on my way back out, I tripped over one of the cat's toys and fell pretty hard.

Fortunately, I landed heaviest on my knee and my hand and twisted my ankle a little ... But, I did something BAD to my tummy. I think, based on the pain in my back, I threw my upper body back in an effort not to fall on my tummy and ended up stretching or straining my tummy and my surgery incision points. Especially the main one. Holy shit, did that hurt. I mean "OMG-did-I-split-my-incision-or-tear-something-inside" hurt.

It's funny how pain just slices through emotional barriers like a hot knife through butter. I got angry and fearful immediately. All the emotions of the stress I've been under for the past week or so was pushed behind it. I could barely move because of the pain and I just wanted everyone gone before someone touched me and made it worse. Then, I was sobbing because it hurt so much and I couldn't do anything else. I asked everyone to leave and said I'd be ok. Logically, I figured out that I had not split my incision point because nothing was leaking through my pants. Thus, I would be OK.

After everyone left, I took some of the Lortab and Advil for the pain and the possible swelling. It's been about an hour and a half. I'm feeling better. Just sore all over. I've obviously been most concerned about my tummy and the soreness there. But, there is no new bruising, split skin or obvious swelling. The pain has lessened over the last 90 minutes. So, I feel safe enough to go to bed.

I'm sorry for yelling at my guests to get out before bursting into tears. It just hurt so much, I could barely think straight.


Tarot Card for the Day: Seven of Cups, Inverted

November 18

Who Set Time to Warp Speed?
Holy Toledo! Where the heck did the time go? I know I'm busy but this is just insane. How about just the highlights from the last week or so?

Work has been frantically busy but good. My boss is happy with me. I'm happy with him. I'm blocked on some of my testing, so I am moving forward to the automation stuff. Scary but not too bad, I hope. All of Lori's stuff is now out of my office, I have it set up the way I want it and my artwork is moved. I'm just waiting for it to be vacuumed and for someone to turn up the heat. Somehow, with out an extra 3 computers, a monitor and another body in the office, it's a heck of a lot colder in there.

I've set up the community for our cultural field trips and it looks like we have a museum trip planned for the 18th of December to the Seattle Art Museum. It is currently showing Spain in the Age of Exploration, 1492-1819. I'm looking forward to that.

On the 10th, I had a great fall at [A] night and hurt myself. It's over a week later and I'm still in pain. I'm beginning to think that it might be more than just a pulled muscle. However, the soonest I can get in to see a doctor is Monday. Let's hope I don't rupture something over NERO weekend. Most likely, it is just a sore muscle.

On the writing front, I've updated both of my author websites. I have created the Grants Pass Call for Submissions website. I got a story accepted for the anthology Down & Dirty 3. I have a flasher being published in MOIST in December 2004. I'm still waiting for word from my editor on my Dragonlance gig. Plus, I'm writing up my part of the DDC 7th Sea LARP that Bill and I are putting on. I will be working on the NERO Race packages soon.

I took the five kittens I had left to the Seattle Animal Shelter Adopt-a-thon where four of the five were adopted. Xander was the only one not adopted and he has been a needy bugger ever since. I do have a couple of good prospects. Hopefully, he will be adopted by Thanksgiving. I'm not sure if my cat will forgive me but, she ran into the kitten room this morning and refused to come out. So, I left her locked into there with Xander. I'm hoping all will be well. She hasn't really hurt him before and there are hiding places in the kitten room small enough for only him. I did notice that he stopped meowing for attention once she was in the room with him.

I've bought a new desktop computer that happens to be a laptop. It is a Dell Inspirion 8600. Hans helped me pick it out. I also bought a new laser printer. They bought should arrive next week. I will transfer a whole lot of my writing from my old computer to my new one after I set up the file system the way I want it to go. It will mostly be my desktop computer but, if I really want to, I will be able to take it with me on trips. More likely, for trips, I'll stick to my iBook because it was less expensive and less of a hit if I lose/drop/etc it.

This coming weekend is my first NERO event. I will be shadowing the other storyplotters and NPCing two characters. One is a hoopty, much hated NPC noble who will be making a surprise visit. There are bets on whether or not someone is going to try to assassinate this noble while she's there. Personally, I won't be doing ANY fighting at all So, if something happens, the character is dead. (I think.) The other NPC is one of my own imagining that then got massively twisted by the rest of plot staff. I was going for something simple and mysterious. Now, this second NPC is certainly mysterious but... not so simple anymore. I still have to pack for the weekend. It promises to be cold.


I've come to a realization but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Some of you might remember me talking about wanting to take a castle crawl across Europe a couple of years back. First it was going to be in 2000. Then, I decided (as 2001 rolled around) it would be more like 2004. Recently, while talking to Leigh-Ann, I realized several things at once:

- It was 2004.
- I have the money to take my European castle crawl trip.
- I have the vacation time to take my European castle crawl trip.
- I have no one who is able to go with me on my European castle crawl trip.
- I don't want to go on this trip alone.

I really want to take this trip but a trip like this is best taken with someone else who would appreciate sharing the adventure. I am simultaneously happy and sad. Happy because, if I wanted to, I could do the trip as I had planned. Sad because I realize I don't want to by myself. At this point, the castle crawl isn't that important. But, I want to go back to Europe or to Japan or to Australia. I want to spend some time in another country again. I've missed it and I feel like I'm missing out. Like I'm going to blink again and my opportunity for travel will be gone again.

I don't suppose anyone out there would be interested in joining me for a 2-3 week trip to Europe or a Mediterranean Cruise this coming year (2005)? A serious "I have the money and vacation time saved up" interest?


Tarot Card for the Day: Eight of Cups

November 26

Me? Cynical? Maybe Just a Little.
Some time ago, Rich, I and some other friends had a discussion on how all of the major and semi-major American holidays correspond to the Seven Deadly Sins: Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed and Sloth. I've been thinking about this lately, since I haven't really been in a festive mood and I've come to the conclusion, when looking at the holidays in a certain light, they really do correspond with the Seven Deadly Sins.

New Year's Eve - This holiday corresponds mostly with Envy. Envy is defined as "painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage." On this holiday, one sets out goals for what one wants over the next year. One thinks about those things they see in others or that others have - a better job, a better love, a better body - and promise oneself to gain these things. It is a celebration of envy and covetousness. Minor sins for this holiday are: Lust, Pride and Greed.

Valentine's Day - This holiday corresponds mostly with Lust. Lust is defined as "usually intense or unbridled sexual desire or an intense longing." On this holiday, one gives gifts to the object(s) of their desire or they spend the day wishing to be with an object of their desire. Minor sins for this holiday are: Envy and Greed.

Memorial Day - This holiday, once called Decoration Day, corresponds mostly with Anger. Anger is defined as "a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism." Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. This means those who have died in war, "conflicts" and the like. I can think of no better deadly sin for such a day. Minor sin for this holiday is Pride.

Independence Day - This holiday corresponds unerringly to Pride. Pride is defined as "the quality or state of being proud, inordinate self-esteem and a delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship." On this holiday, America celebrates its pride of independence from the British Empire with grilled burgers and colorful explosions. There is an awful lot of back pounding and chants of U-S-A! Minor sins for this holiday are: Gluttony and Sloth.

Labor Day - This holiday, created to celebrate the social and economic achievements of American workers, corresponds to Sloth. Sloth is defined as "the disinclination to action or labor also as spiritual apathy and inactivity." It is a day to celebrate the worker by taking the day off to do nothing. I find this holiday kind of ironic, really, when you think about it. Minor sins for this holiday are: Envy, Pride and Greed.

Thanksgiving Day - This holiday, without a doubt, corresponds to the sin of Gluttony. Gluttony is defined as "excess in eating or drinking." This is a feast day to celebrate what one has by eating and drinking oneself into a stupor, then snoozing the afternoon away in front of the football game. Minor sins for this holiday are: Sloth and Greed.

Christmas Day - This favorite holiday of the year is dedicated to the sin of Greed. Greed is defined as "excessive or reprehensible acquisitiveness" and if that doesn't represent Christmas, I don't know what does. It is the day of giving and receiving present and rampant consumerism. Minor sins for this holiday are: Pride, Envy and Gluttony.

Cynical? Yeah. I know. Sometimes I can't help it. But, to balance it out, I will also mention the possible heavenly virtues attached to each of these holidays. The Seven Contrary Virtues are: humility, kindness, abstinence, chastity, patience, liberality, diligence. The Seven Heaven Virtues are: faith, hope, charity, fortitude, justice, temperance, prudence.

New Year's Eve - Chastity and Hope
Valentine's Day - Humility and Temperance
Memorial Day - Liberality and Fortitude
Independence Day - Patience and Justice
Labor Day - Diligence and Prudence
Thanksgiving Day - Abstinence and Charity
Christmas Day - Kindness and Faith


I will admit that I have had a hard time of things lately on an emotional level. It's been a nasty three punch combination of general holiday blues, ovulation and being single at holiday time. I've been attempting to counter it with good chocolate and semi-decent hentai. It's been working somewhat. Also, thanks to good friends, I'm not alone on the holidays.

I got a package from my Mom. It looks like she put my birthday and Christmas stuff all together in the once package and didn't wrap any of it. While I really like what I got (slippers, an afghan, two scarves and a toy for the cat), I'm a little miffed that it was all sent at once and such. Having a December birthday really sucks at times. Everyone likes to just mush them together. For an attention hound like me, I hate it. Ah, well. I'll survive.

On the good side of things, all of the kittens have been adopted! I tell you, I'm not going to do seven at a time again. No more than four if I can get away with it. Seven was an awful lot to take care of. In any case, it will be a while before I get any more. We are out of kitten season and I only foster kittens. Plus, I'm letting Leigh-Ann move in for a few weeks with her two cats into the kitten room. Her cats will be confined to the one room. I'm not going to torment Esme by letting two adult female cats, both little queens of their domain, invade her territory. She's been so much happier since the kittens have gone.


Tarot Card for the Day: Eight of Cups, Inverted

November

November

Continue on to: DECEMBER 2004
(Created by JLB)