May 01 - 06
May 07 - 13
May 14 - 20
May 21 - 27
May 28 - 31
| May 1 Beltaine Blessings! Man, I'm tired this morning. Monday mornings are always a bare but last night's Bedrest game and being up way past my bedtime... I'm really socked. Bedrest was fairly decent. I think that's because half the players came in, thinking they were going to die this game. So, they all went for broke. Fortunately, the death toll was kept to a minimum. Unfortunately, one of my favorite BR characters to RP with died and two others have gone to ground. Also, DJ told me the game was going to go on hiatus for 6 months to do character development and such. Since that is the case, looks like I'll be bringing Elizabeth back then. Maybe. We'll see. In the meantime, I am gearing myself up for Aragon and Casting the Runes. We got our email back at work. Yah! Email going down in an internet company such as mine is a major catastrophe. Friday was both amusing and frustrating. My boss is lost without his email. My handmade cedar runes arrived. They are *beautiful*! I am so pleased. I really need to get the set scanned or a digital picture of them or something. My excuse to get them was for Kayley, but I really just wanted them for myself. I've been interested in runes and rune readings for a long time. My last set of runes and the book that explained them got thrown out by my brother because he "couldn't abide by them." Yeah. I was really happy. That is nothing now. Beltaine Blessings! Happy May day! For those of you who don't know, Beltaine is definited as: "Beltaine, also known as May Day, is celebrated on or around May 1. Beltaine is a festival of Rebirth, a celebration of the re-awakening of the earth, the opening of the flowers, the rebirth of all that had 'died' throughout the Winter's cold rule. It is traditionally a fertility festival, an encouragement for the crops to begin growing and the cattle to give birth to the next generation. Beltaine is a time of community and opening ourselves to those around us, for the good of the Craft and the community in general." It is also the changing of the Fae court from Unseelie to Seelie. The other date being October 31st, of course.
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| May 2 Normal Stuff Work has been incredibly frustrating today. If it isn't one thing, it's another. A server I need is down because of a bug. Another server can't be used because it's sick. I finally get things set up on a third server but can't test because of a config problem. Once that's fixed, I immediately find a bug that prevents me from testing. *argh* What a pain in the butt! I like being a QA Engineer... but there are days when I would happily toss it overboard in favorite of turnip farming. I did lots of writing for Kayley. Added a bunch of new letters and a "Just the facts" page.
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| May 3 Blah. Skip it. Stayed home today. Didn't feel good at all. Sore throat and overly tired. It sucks being sick or allergies or whatever. I did a little bit more writing but mostly vegged and took it easy. I did pay bill though. Not too bad. One thing I did do, was ponder that job in Fremont again. So, I think I'll dust off my resume and send it in - just to see what happens. It cannot hurt to look at the position.
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| May 4 Status Update I got a long email from my Mom recently. She and Dad have bought a house in North Carolina. 3 bedroom, 2 bath and a den on 1/2 acre of land for less than $130K. Makes me green with envy! But, of course, I really don't want to live in the Bible belt area of the country. Still, the Bay area is just out of control when it comes to the price of houses. I'm still feeling yucky. Listless and a sore throat. I stayed home again but I am going to force myself into work tomorrow if I have to. We have way too much to do for me to be gone. Besides that, it annoys the da boss to no end when I don't make it into work for whatever reason. Realized that I forgot to post my April poem: A Question of Paradise. It's not one of my better ones. I was trying to write this one "in character" as Delphi. It's her view of the trip from the Diablo's Children area up to Port Townsend. Good game. Crappy poem. *smile* Ah, well.
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| May 5 Work and Gypsies Guess who's office got hit with the "I Love You" virus, the "Joke" virus AND the really nasty "Thanks for your Purchase" virus? Yep. My office. I came back to work with 100+ virus emails just begging me to open them. Good thing there is a mass delete. *sigh* I love our marketing and HR people... but sometimes... Well, let's just say it is best that they stay as far away from a computer as they can. Still, work was pretty good. I still feel yucky, but I got the portal branding to work! So, Elizabeth and Jela'han stare at me as I work now. Pretty keen. Now. If I could just figure out how to create a new portal.... Dave's 7th Sea game was as good as usual. Highlights included discovering that Katerina's betrothed was actually the Gypsy King's (Think young, ruggedly handsome Ricardo Montalban.) son, dealing with the gypsies and Katerina throwing caution to the wind to marry her beloved, Patrice, that very night. Now, hopefully her father won't freak out on her over this. I doubt it. Patrice is a good man and Katerina's father, Mikhail, loves her very much. I'm sure there will be some minor male posturing but that's it.
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| May 6 Star Wars Day Well, I got the nicest email from a regular reader named Brian. Hello Brian! Seems that he really likes Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series, like me. It's always cool to hear from my regular readers. Makes me feel loved. *hehehe* I spent the day reading Spider Robinson's Starseed and started Starmind. I also watched the Star Wars trilogy: A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. I also finished one of my "Bridges" stories. I'm writing a series of minor short stories to bridge the one year gap between Episode One of Tales of the Iridium Rose and the upcoming Episode Two. You know, just some detail wrap up - Duvessa contacting Valerian, being accepted into the Jedi Academy and meeting up with her family to wrap up those details. OK... so I didn't unpack anything. Oh, well.
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| May 7 Strange Dreamage Strange Dreamage: Death Becomes Me - On the run from an ax weilding neighbor intent on killing me, I discover something rather incredible and reveal something very personal. *grump* I got a warning ticket this morning because my car was parked facing the wrong way. Been here over 3 years and NOW they decide that I can't park facing that direction? What an annoyance. Don't cops have better things to do like solve crimes. *grump*
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| May 8 TOO MUCH INFORMATION! You know how a person ceases to see something once they have seen it many many times? They already know what it says/is/does and therefore no longer spends the brain power to really -look- at it and -realize- what it does/say/mean. It's one of the biggest obstacles a QA Engineer has to face. I had one of these come bite me in the butt in a MAJOR way today. I was over in Customer Support, chatting with my friend, Andrew. I was telling him about the branding ability of our product. He asked to see it and I was all too happy to comply. I sent him to the site with my Elizabeth branding. He knows all about my roleplaying addiction and thinks it is neat. I showed him all of the branding ability - including the linking to a homepage... where I linked to Elizabeth's site. Andrew asked me about the character as he pulled up the page. I thought to myself, "Hrm, he probably shouldn't click on the picture, it will show a picture much too racy for the office." As I mildly warned him that it was linked to one of my more adult characters, I was suddenly accutely aware of the warning that LOOMED near the top of the page: (WARNING: This Character page contains subjects of an adult nature - including Sex, Bi-sexuality, BDSM, Vampires, Death, Blackmail, Slavery, Domination and Multiple Personality Disorder. Some of the stories will be graphic in nature. If you are not an adult, I strongly urge you to go elsewhere. This is only fiction. It is not real. None of the events described in these pages are real.) Oh. My. God. It was one of those infinity moments when you realize just how badly you have screwed up. "I wonder who else has actually clicked on that link to test it...." I thought to myself in sheer horror. My boss? The CEO, looking at the new branding ability? Talk about much too much information! Oh... oh... oh... shit. OhpleaseifthereisaGodinHeavennoonebutmehaslookedatthatlink!OhPLEASE! In the back of my mind, I was desperately trying not to panic, remembering that I'm the only one testing the branding right now. Andrew looked at me as I murmured... "You know... that page is probably not appropriate for testing..." He grinned at me, realizing that I just realized this. "I don't mind." He laughed. "But..." I nodded at him, knowing that he understood. "I have to go change that URL... now." The last I heard was him wishing me good luck as he snickered at my mortification. The next 15 minutes were HELL as I had to work through some commands to figure out how to change it - under the guise of testing the ability to modify the branding if need be. (And believe me, it needed be!) After it was changed to my much safer, unassuming Alter Egos page, I breathed a sigh of relief. Damn. That was just way too close. On the brighter side of things, I uploaded four new "Dear Jane" letters to Kayley's site. This pretty much brings me up to date in character continuity for these IC letters. Now... I have to decide if I really want to do the 100+ Questions for her or not.
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| May 9 Too Nice?? Alright. When did it become a crime to be nice? Yesterday, not one, but three different people told me I was too nice. One was a co-worker, the other two were friends. My co-worker mentioned that I was so nice that I'd better watch out or someone was going to walk all over me. One friend, in email, told me that I was too nice and it would end up getting me hurt. I was too willing to help people who were in trouble. I would be taken advantage of. The other friend, in IM, whom I was joking with, told me "Well, one of us has to be." when I told him he was a meanie. I asked "What, am I too nice?" His response was the infamous Urqhart line, "You might think that but I couldn't possibly comment." (Which means - "Why, yes.") I think he was teasing... maybe. This has happened to me before. When I was dating (the infamous) Chris, his mother told him once that she did not like me because I was too nice, too polite. She didn't trust me because "anyone that nice has something to hide." Later, she realized that that was just the way I was and relaxed. This annoys me for a few reasons. First, a person shouldn't be looked down upon because they are nice. It shouldn't be assumed that they have something to hide or that they are a doormat. If people were nicer to each other, maybe we wouldn't have people shooting each other in the streets! Second, I don't think I'm -that- nice. I have a real bitchy streak at times and I can stand up for myself. Yes, I like helping people in need. I want to do it. I believe what goes around, comes around. The Three-Fold Law and all that. I don't think people are going to take advantage of me because of my good nature. Besides, I'd like to think that I'm smart enough to see it coming. Third, "nice" seems to imply dull, boring, unadventurous. Those who know me, know that that is not me... at least, I hope not. (Food doesn't count, Johanna!) God, I hope people don't think I'm dull and boring... I can't seem to win. People either think I'm too nice, dull and boring or it they learn more about me, they think I'm a freak and a pervert. Bah! Who cares what others think. I like being me and the way I am. Wonder of wonders, I got an email from a woman who wanted to try and crack my dream, Death Becomes Me. I was shocked that anyone beyond Johanna actually read my dreams. She asked me a whole bunch of questions that I have now answered. I'm really curious as to her interpretation.
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| May 10 ESP vs. Magick I think I've gone back into one of my more 'mystic' phases. (Yes. I have phases - writing phases, reading phases, lazy phases, active phases, gaming phases, non-gaming phases, etc...). In any case, I have been pondering the supernatural lately. In particular: ESP versus Magick. (I use the 'k' in Magic to indicate that it is not the sleight-of-hand magic illusion.) Both have things in common but are fundamentally different. The difference seems to be where the power comes from - I think. I'm still a little fuzzy in my thoughts. ESP - extrasensory perception - things like telepathy, telekinetics, precognition, psychometry, astral projection or remote viewing, all seem to come from some inner ability that deals with the mind. ESP is 'scientific', supposedly. It is based on an unidentified 'natural' ability of the mind. The power comes from the mind, allowing one to manipulate the environment around them. Magick - extraordinary power or influence seemingly from a supernatural source - things like weather control, elemental control, mind speech, truth telling, spells of protection and healing or teleportation, all seem to come from the manipulation of some external unidentified force. Magic is 'supernatural'. It is based on an arcane way of thought. The power comes from an external source, allowing one with the right talent to control it, to manipulate it and thus the environment around them. Everything ESP can do, Magick can do. Everything Magick can do, ESP can do. So, which, if either, is better? Is it ESP because it does not have the trappings and rituals of Magick? Is it Magick because of the control, power and farther reaching effects? Which, if either, would be more accepted and why? At this point, I don't know which would be accepted more. Perhaps, it would be ESP because it -seems- to have a scientific basis and has been studied more. Perhaps, it would be Magick because those results need a ritual and time - making people feel safer because someone walking down the street couldn't read their thoughts. Of course, this assumes that the witch hunters wouldn't immediately attempt to exterminate those who positively prove that they had either ability. KT was nice enough to tell me that I was evil, mean, nasty and vile. Isn't she a sweetheart? *smile*
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| May 11 It's a Chocolate Covered Brownie! At my request, stee sent me the FUNNIEST "cat attack" mpeg. OMG, this is funny. That poor kid... but the kitty cat was obviously just playing. *grin* This, of course, made it around my office like a cat on a hot tin roof - and sparked a series of "Let's share funny videos." So, we tromped around to a number of offices to watch mpgs. Some were really funny. OK. OK. I'm really beginning to think these charka points and such really work. My masseuse touched a point on the back of my hand in between my thumb and forefinger, then began to rub it. She mentioned that I should rub it whenever I get a chance. I asked why. She told me it was a 'liver' point and it seemed that my liver was getting 'clogged.' She is forever telling me to drink more water but now she was becoming concerned that my liver was clogged... Unbeknownst to her, my soda consumption had grown over the past month that I had not seen her... from one soda a day to 2-4 sodas a day, while my water consumption had dropped to maybe 16-24 oz, a day. (Recommended is 64 oz/day.) Fine, I'll cut back on the soda and start drinking more water. Geez... I think my waxist and my masseuse are working together on it. Ran the College game tonight. Of course, they deftly dodged my meager plot hook ,as players are want to do, and went off to the mall... leaving me grasping for ideas. So, stealing an idea from the book "Mall Purchase Night" by Rick Cook, I deftly spun a yarn about brownies in the mall... then, added a terribly mysterious... and dangerous gate that they guard. Not to mention the mysterious half-fey woman who owns the small book store on the third floor and the OTHER part-fey old guy who owns the ice cream shop on the first floor. Throw in a love story about the male brownies accidentally being separated from their loved one by fate and Wha-la! You have an enjoyable off-the-cuff WoD game. My friends. Sick and twisted to the core - and I love everyone of them.
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| May 12 Lunch Time I had lunch with Michael today. It was really a lot of fun. I needed to get out of the office. Too much work. We went to the local Carl's Jr/Green Burrito fast food joint. I had a really sloppy burrito but managed not to get it on me. Yeah! Small victories. Michael told me that he pondered wearing all black for me for lunch, just to see my reaction and to tease me. Evil man. Oh, wait... I like evil... *hehehe* But, he was nice and didn't poke any of my buttons. Except for one. He's going to go see Charles De Lint at a convention in Madison over the Memorial Day Weekend. I'm jealous! *argh* Oh, well. I got to tease him about the 'white' in his face fuzz... Hey, Michael! Ever considered a goatee?
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| May 13 Casting the Runes Today was mostly taken up with Rich's LARP, Casting the Runes. It was a combination of set up and roleplay. It worked surprisingly well. And, beyond forgetting what it is like to be in an ill-fitting bodice - then remembering and being mildly envious of how good Johanna looked, I had a really good time. Things worked out surprisingly well for my character Isabeau. She has managed to make good friends with the Tremere Elder and join with the Ventrue and the LaSombra Antitribue in a serious power coterie. That was the last thing I expected. However, Isabeau is -very- political for a Gangrel. Casting the Runes shows real promise as an excellent game. Also, at the game, I met a woman who has actually had the Lasik eye surgery done. She loved it! She's going to to get me the information on her eye doctor. Apparently, he's located in San Leandro! I'm pretty interested in this. Maybe I really will get my eyes fixed this year.
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| May 14 Mother's Day, Father's Birthday I got hit with a double whammy today of it being Mother's Day and my Father's Birthday. So, of course, I had to call to North Carolina to spread the good wishes. My parents are happy but tired. They are doing a lot of work on their new house. Apparently, the previous occupants were colorblind. The wallpaper in the living room was orange and green. One of the bathrooms had a pink sink and toilet with a purple lid and wallpaper with black and gold poodles on it. The other bathroom had gray blue tile with pastel pink walls. It sounds horrible. I shudder to think what it actually looked like. My sister is more than ready to have her second child. Amanda Joy is due at the end of May, but Shannon is rooting for next Saturday... because mom and dad are too busy with the house this week. I got to talk to my niece, Emily. At just over 2 1/2, she is one big squirming mass of precocious handful... and just adorable to talk to on the phone... not that I really could understand her. But she is getting this conversation thing down. I can't wait to see them all again for Thanksgiving. Going meta for a moment, occasionally, I get an email from a regular reader who just makes me smile. I just got one like that today. It is from a local guy named Neil. "This is sort of a dual message for both Johanna and Jennifer. My name is Neil, and I've been reading your journals for quite some time (both of which are excellent), and I just wanted to say that you two have finally inspired me to start a journal of my own. Thank you both for giving me the impetus to do this, because I really like your journals, and if you ever want to see my own it can be found at: Neil's LiveJournal." Johanna (who pinged me on IM to read my email) and I were incredibly flattered, and thus, hopped over to his site. Neil is an intriguing person. That's for sure. Also, he's a gamer and a writer. A definite plus in my eyes! His journal is new, interesting and filled with literary references from some of my favorite books. Certainly a journal I will be keeping an eye on. (Later) Whoa! Just talked a little with Neil via email. Turns out I have met him and his girlfriend already! They were in Serious Moonlight's Cthulu Adventures: Temple of Terror and Return to the Temple of Terror! Neat-o keen! I love this small world syndrome.
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| May 15 Five By Five
Top five favorite movies
Top five favorite book series
Top five things I like about myself
Top five things I don't like about myself
Top five dark secrets
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| May 16 Mish-Mash Well, I'm at home today because the car is in the shop. Phooey. It needed a tune up, but there now seems to be something wrong with the electrical system. The engine light has come on for the last two days. Ah, well. So, I've done some cleaning, shifting of boxes and putting away of stuff. So, all was not wasted. Casting the Runes is going to be a great and terrible game for me. Great in the fact that it is already shaping up to be an awesome game with political alliances forming and dangerous coteries shaping up. Terrible in the fact that my character, Isabeau, is half NPC and I am helping Rich with some of the plotlines, so I cannot talk about it to -anyone- about -anything- so I don't spoil any of the surprises. *OY* I'm not sure I'm going to survive! And not to ignore Aragon, I wrote up the May 2000 letter for Kayley and posted it. I've started on the 100 Questions for her. *oy* It's like a freaking essay test.
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| May 17 Blabber Fingers & the Twin Orbs of Might *Yawn* I'm tired. Too many late nights lately. Of course, this is all my fault. I've recently become reacquainted with a friend of mine. We met again at Casting the Runes. So, we've been chatting online until way past my bedtime these last couple of nights. Some of it is game related. Some of it is reacquainting ourselves. Some of it has been on the very interesting topic of BDSM. Seems that he is well acquainted with the scene as an experience Dom. This has sparked some rather intriguing conversations and reawakened an old itch. Oh, who the hell do I think I'm kidding? Between recent games, recent fantasies and recent conversations, my hormones are all in a tizzy, my vibrator is getting a serious workout and I'm finding the old scening urges coming back full force. Yes, he is interested in scening with me. Of course, he is more interested in Johanna and her Twin Orbs of Might. *grin* But, I've told him that he has to talk to her about any of that. I'm not her agent. I can't speak for her. However, I have given him the warning, submissive or not, he harms Johanna or makes her uncomfy in any way, he'll be wearing his balls as earrings. Ok. So, I wasn't that graphic or forceful. Well, I was that graphic... but, he got the idea and understood. Amazingly enough, I'm not even annoyed with his greater interest in Johanna. She's a beautiful, intriguing woman. At this point, I've found that I've simply started accepting that Johanna will always be the butterfly to my caterpillar. (Caterpillars are pretty in their own way, too.) It's a strange turning point for me. There is, as always, a slight twinge of... want/envy... but it has been quickly melting into resignation then acceptance. If this is the way it's going to be, so be it. No use getting pissy about it. In any case, this has put a whole new spin on Casting the Runes for me. I'm going to do my best to keep my hormones in line towards those men/characters with that wonderful "moth to the flame" quality. Speaking of hormones, they make you do the damnest things and have the worst slips of the tongue. I was speaking to one particularly toothsome friend of mine online and was virtually smacking him for being such a tease. He, of course, denied it. And denied that he was dangerous, too. It was all in good humor. Then, suddenly, my blabber mouth (fingers?) good naturedly told him to deny it all he wanted but if he gave me one more "Let's fuck" look - role-playing or not - he was liable to find himself dragged behind some bushes. My finger was already hitting the return key as my filter was kicking in to censor that remark. Well, hell. (Impulse control problems? Oh, we know about them, don't we, my friends.) T'was nothing to do but ride it out. He took it good naturedly. Thank goodness. We joked back and forth - especially because he didn't realize he -had- a "Let's fuck" look! *oy* Talk about dangerous. Of course, after that, he declared that he must use his new found power for EVIL. (And I like evil men.) Ah, is it any wonder why I like my friends so much?
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| May 18 A Presentation About Me OK. So, I was a bit blatant in my last entry. Ah, well. It goes with the territory. Don't like it, don't read. Do like it... more power to ya. *grin* Well, today started out on a crappy note. *grump* I used all my cash for dinner with Dom last night, so, obviously, I had to get some this morning. But, of course, my ATM card had somehow become demagnetized... and is there a bank open at 7:30am? Of course not. Having all of $1 in my possession, I had to drive home and look for my emergency stash of cash... which, of course, was hidden in my room in a box. So, five minutes later, when I know I'm going to be late to work this morning, I find the stash, get some cash and run out the door. I head to work, only to realize as I was getting on the freeway that I had forgotten my breakfast. *ARGH* So, now, I'm late, I'm hungry and I'm pissed off... sitting in commute traffic that was worse than normal... Why? Because someone had an accident on 101S at 237... a couple exits away from my exit. Now, I'm really going to be late! *sigh* After a 90 minute commute, I make it to work and hope that the day will get better. Fortunately, it has. A little. I had an emergency ration of tuna in my desk and we actually had hot chocolate in the kitchen. Between my satisfied tummy and some amusing email, I'm feeling much better now. The day did get better for the most part - until just before 5pm. This is all my fault, too. I volunteered to be a presenter during a web-conferencing test. My boss came up to me just before 5pm and says, "You do realize that I actually want you to present something during the test... right?" Yark? Ah, hell. Not only do I have to present something, I have present it for 10 minutes and be interesting, too. *whew* What to present? What to present? Aha! A presentation about me! At least I know the subject matter! And, of course, I'm endlessly fascinating. (That's sarcasm, folks.) But, I did manage to put together a slide presentation in Power point - which I barely know how to use - and figure out some things to talk about. Hopefully, it won't be too bad.
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| May 19 Hanging In There Well, my mini presentation on me didn't go too bad. It didn't go to well, either. It was more talking about what people were seeing on the screen than the context. Ah, well. Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. I have, once again, run out of steam when it comes to the NVU game. I have no plot ideas. Heck, I can't keep myself interested. How am I supposed to keep anyone else interested? I know that Greg is running next, then I have to run again after that - setting up the game for Rich to run. I think I'll run a Nephandi plotline for the next time I run. I'm sure I can think of something by then. But, I'm not sure how to end this one. Maybe with them finding the 7th Generation Bad Guy and Cil's piece of the Pyramid. As for the 7th Sea game, it was moderately paced but THICK with tension. Katerina's in-laws can be a difficult bunch to deal with at times. Part of me will be glad when we separate from the Waylanders. I hate it that she seems to keep messing up with them. At least, it's not as bad as some character's. Both Johanna and James have had their characters almost killed for their mistakes.
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| May 20 Poetry, Heat and Dice I had one of those moments Friday afternoon when I just really... wanted... things. They say pain is good for art. So is unresolved sexual tension and just general need. The end result: Frustrated Wanting. I hope you enjoy. I sent it out a couple of listservs I'm on. I've received a couple of really nice compliments and a friend of mine wants me to come read some of my stuff for his internet Kink Radio. *grin* Sounds like fun. We'll have to see what happens. It was just too darned hot today. I'm not used to it at all and I don't have the clothing for it. I would rather be in a too cold area than a too hot area. I hate all the sweating. It sucks. Now I remember why I used to wear my contacts so much. You can bet I'm going to go back to that soon. Had the Sekt Valir game today. It was a dangerous comedy of errors. I don't think I have seen so many bad dice rolls in the whole time I've been gaming in Sekt Valir. One character almost died in a fight. Another character was stabbed in the heart. Another character became addicted to tea made from the ashes of children. Another character had an arm cut off. Another one accidently had 10 years sucked off his life when I botched my extend life roll and he almost died. But, in the end, everyone lived. I healed all wounds - even the arm. Unfortunately, Eris couldn't figure out how she took the life force from the one character or how to give it back. Fortunately, that character is VERY long lived. Though, as much as we got out butts handed to us on a silver platter, it was a very fun game. We all survived. We killed the bad guy and we will have some amusing stories to tell the other players who weren't there.
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| May 21 Hot, hot, hot! Today was another hot hot day of wanting to do nothing but wishing to be cool. I don't deal so well with the heat. Then again, I don't like really cold. Yes, I'm fickle. But I don't like the heat more. I can always put on more clothes. In the heat, there's only so much clothes shedding one can do. Played in the Port Townsend game today. Hot damn! There appears to be an unwritten rule that Delphi, my 100 year old, extremely human, child nature vampire, gets to stare straight into the gaping maw of Hell at least once a game! Yep, you guessed it. Today was that game. On the good side, Delphi wasn't the only one, so when she becomes coherent again, some of the other characters will understand she babbles, "It's sleeping, but it still sees me!!" This almost seems like Cthulu meets World of Darkness in a small seaport town - which is what Alex is probably going for. Whatever he's planning, it's creeping the heck out of our kindred group!
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| May 22 Selling Myself to Deaf Ears [2002.09.13 - Edited due to personal reasons.]
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| May 23 Synchronicity, a Red Dress & Chess It was one of those odd things today. On the way to work, I was thinking... perhaps half wishful thinking... that it was about time for a small earthquake and a power outage at work. I wasn't serious. I was just hoping it would happen so we could go home. Well.... just after 9am, *blam* Power outage. The power came back on within 60 seconds. I wasn't even thinking of my idle thoughts from the morning commute. 5 minutes later, *blam* Power outage again. And this time, it stayed off. That's when I remembered that I had been thinking of/idly predicting a power outage at work today. Whoa. Weird. There was no earthquake, but a co-worker mentioned that he had dreamt of earthquakes last night. I hope it wasn't my wishful thinking that blew out the transformer that knocked out an entire grid section in downtown Mountain View. So, for the next two hours, the power was off. No one was allowed to go home. People went outside to play basketball. Some stayed inside to play CD hockey. Me? I ended up in a chess match with a woman from Tech Support. Ladies and Gentlemen... after 10 years of not playing chess with a human opponent... I won that game of chess! I was *thrilled* that I remembered some things about chess. It was very friendly match. Shelly and I discussed our various moves as we played. And even though I won, it is obvious to me that Shelly is a much better chess player than I. Still, it was a nice break from the norm. You know, it's amazing the number of compliments and comments a person will get when they add color to a usually dark wardrobe. Recently, I bought a red dress. I usually wear blacks, browns, dark greens and blues. Today, I wore my red dress and people were like "Whoa! Nice dress!" It was a nice feeling, because even I occasionally bow to the bright colors of summer.
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| May 24 GalaxyQuest I'm starting to get annoyed with the recent trend of telemarketing attitudes. I may be short with them, saying "Thank you but no, I'm not interested. Please take me off your call list." However, I am polite. Recently, the telemarketers that have been calling my house have been EXTREMELY rude. Most of them hang up on me as soon as I say, "No thank you." Or "I'm not interested." They hang up on me while I'm talking and before I can ask them to take me off their call list... thus, making it so they will continue calling me when I'm not interested because I never get a chance to tell them to stop! They never even say "Good-bye." or "Have a nice evening." This is really beginning to irk me. I visited with Casey and Mary for dinner and to finally watch GalaxyQuest. Oh my gosh! I knew some of those people! It was just too amusing. Especially watching the stars backstage and listening to the uber-fans ask questions about Episode 81 where such-and-such happened. I was surprised that Tim Allen actually acted and Sigourney Weaver was a wonderful Lt. Tawny Madison. The whole movie made me smile.
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| May 25 Dragging Man, I've been tired all week. I know it's just my cycle but I've been just dragging in the morning and been sleepier earlier at night. Ah, well. It nothing else, I'm looking forward to this four day weekend. And, tomorrow is going to be a fairly easy day at work. We have a half day, then we get to go see Mission Impossible - Company's Treat. How cool is that? I finally got to see the end of The Stand by Stephen King. It's been years since I read it and I don't remember the ending. I've seen the beginning of The Stand several times. Man, the end of it is a tear jerker in parts. I didn't remember it being so sad. But, I think I like the way Randall Flag was defeated in the end. I visited with Rob and Lisa tonight. Rob graduated with an AA! *yeah* Going to school has to be hard with a full time job, two kids, a wife and a house to take care of. It was a nice visit made nicer by the fact that the friend I had a blow up with a couple of weeks ago was there and nothing bad happened! In fact, while we totally avoided talking about the past, it wasn't even uncomfortable. Thank goodness for small favors.
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| May 26 Quid Pro Quo & Small Worlds Today was quite the good day for work. I was really productive for the half day we were there. I won an award for my work in the eCommere bugbowl and $100 to spend on some sort of fun entertainment. That's very cool. Nice to be recognized. Then, we went to Mission Impossible:2, treated by the Company. Over all, it's a fun flick. Stop at the back of the eyeballs brain candy. It, being a John Woo movie, made it worth seeing. There were a couple of classic Woo moves - slow motion action and the double gun sliding shot. However, the plot was simple, predictable and some of the fight scenes were too long. Go, turn the brain off and enjoy. Though, just a note... there is an exchange, about the female lead Nyah (Thandie Newton), between Hunt (Tom Cruise) and Swanbeck (Anthony Hopkins) that I think is designed to piss off every female watching the movie.
Hunt: She can't do it. She's not trained for that. Yeah. The whole crowd rumbled that that. My thought was "Ow! Bitter much?" I was wandering through my sitemeter referrals this morning to discover on Rob's Forum, where someone asked about finding new journals to read, my journal was one of six that a woman, Julie, named as excellent journals and thought they would be worth nominating for the Diarist.net awards next quarter. The thought of being nominated is both pleasing and daunting. I haven't joined Diary-L or any of the other big journal listservs because I don't really have time to deal with them but also, I don't want to get in too deep... there seems to be a lot of egos around - and who can blame them? It is your journal - your life - that is on display. Still, there are feuds that pop up that I want no part of at all. For example, I discovered that two of the journalers I read have a feud going where they REALLY dislike each other and stated so in their journals. It was... sad... to read about, really. I think it comes from what I call a "keyboard personality". Some people are the worst people to know face to face but are awesome online. Some... way too many... are lovely people until they get in front of a keyboard. Suddenly, they become a different and much less likable person. Most people tell me "Wow! You're just like you are online!" They are surprised and pleased. I guess my keyboard personality is very similar to who I am. In any case... About Julie's compliment... I was surprised and pleased. It's always nice to get a compliment from nowhere. Makes me smile. Well, Julie has her own journal: Celebrations. So, as I always do when someone says they like my journal and has a journal of their own, I hopped on over to read it. Quid Pro Quo. I figure, at least the author has good taste, they like my journal *snicker* (Oh, you VAIN woman you!) In any case, I was very happy with what I found there. Julie is a vibrant woman which whom I have much in common with... including an old friend of mine. Turns out that Julie is a friend of my friend Alan. He used to talk to me about her all the time. It was a neat sensation. So, I've written her a couple of emails about her journal and our mutual friend. I haven't heard back yet, but the day is still young.
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| May 27 Delicate Bits Well, shoot. It seems I have discovered a strange lump in a delicate part of my anatomy. I certainly can feel it and after an amazing bit of contortionism, I actually saw it. It's a recent thing - as in noticing it within the last two days. I'm really hoping it's something simple and common. I'll give it a couple of weeks to go away. Then, I'll break down and go to the doctors. I really hate it when something unusual happens to my body. *Grump* Amazon.com messed up my order. I didn't realize it until today when I opened it up. I ordered 3 DVDs and one VHS tapes. I got 3 DVDs and two VHS tapes. My order was: DVDs of: GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies and The World is not Enough. And a video tape on the James Bond story. What I got was: DVDs of: Blade, Director's Cut, End of Days, Director's Cut and GoldenEye. The video tapes are: The James Bond story and Tomorrow Never Dies. I suppose I got the better end of the screw up. Eventually, I wanted Blade on DVD and I've never seen End of Days - which I'm not expecting to be all that good anyway. *sigh* I think I have discovered a new pet-peeve/hot button. It's when someone tells me to "Chill out", "Relax", or "Calm down" when I'm not upset or even tense. Suddenly, my temper spikes and I want to rip heads off. I think it's because it insinuates that I'm not in control of myself or that I'm being hysterical and overly emotional. And since, at the time, I'm just fine, it slams a nerve with a 10 pound sledgehammer. Ironically, this means, after I'm told to "calm down" or "relax" when it's not necessary, it becomes very necessary and I have to leave the situation or do something I'll regret later. Unfortunately, I have a friend who has a habit of saying such to me on a whim. While I know he doesn't mean it, it still comes off as arrogant and condescending in a very much holier-than-thou attitude. I headed over to see Dave for a James Bond fest (Hence the 3 DVDs I had tired to buy... ). Dave was going to cook dinner but apparently, the chicken had in the frig had gone bad. So, we went out to Hungry Hunter and had a good meal on my Company. After that, we watched the James Bond Story and End of Days. End of Days was an amusing flick - predictable but fun. Also, Dave and I had a really good conversation. I learned some things about his past. He beats me hands down for most screwed up life. Yes, my life was traumatic in places to me but, wow! His life made mine look like a walk in the park. I have no wonder why he was such an angry young man. At least, things are better for him now.
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| May 28 NADA. |
| May 29 Taking It Easy This has been a great four day weekend. Instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off at a convention, I decided to stay home and relax. Take it easy. Make it a mini vacation. I made some personal business cards for me and Kayley. I read the second novel in the Centauri Prime series by Peter David. Dave ran me and James through one hell of a Prelude for Aragon yesterday. Man, Kayley and Zacharie have one hell of a yucky mystery on our hands. But, that's Clan Tremere for you. I wrote up the recounting of 'what happened' for our Regent - it was over 2000 words long! I did have an odd little dream this morning: Turn About - I meet a young guy at a party who kidnaps me then try to save his life after he poisons himself. Other than that - life is blissfully content.
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| May 30 Stirring the Pot Long weekends have one drawback. They end. And thus, force us back to work. When I came into work today, I had NO CLUE what it was that I was working on before and NO CLUE what it was that I was supposed to be doing now. It took me half the day to figure it out and as soon as I did, my boss came by to give me another extra-special task. *mrph* Figures. Oh, yeah. Stirring the pot for Aragon. The game hasn't even really begun except for preludes and I've already managed to piss off one of the two Dukes with the other one politely asking me to stick my butt in the fire. Gotta love it. No matter how I try to make my characters as inoffensive as possible, I always seem to become a trouble magnet. Of course, Kayley isn't particularly offensive or inoffensive. She is Tremere after all. In any case, things are already looking interesting for this weekend and I'm pretty sure that no matter what, she's going to continue to be in hot water with that one duke.
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| May 31 Cruel Boss My boss was unusually cruel and evil today. I "got" to interview two candidates for my department. *oy* What a disaster. Though, believe me, it could have been worse. The first guy was obviously very nervous. I did my best to put him at ease; smiling, nodding and the like. Unfortunately, that did nothing to dissuade his rambling tendencies and inability to actually answer the question that I asked. He also had some serious holes in his QA education. At best, he would be a semi-decent junior QA tester - if he followed a test plan. Nice guy but not what we are looking for. As for the second guy, I should have been warned when my boss just smiled at me as he handed me the resume, telling me to go in. I recognized that smile now. It's a smile that says, "I've just gone through hell and now it's your turn." Oh. My. God. This second guy was like watching a crabby grandfather on speed. He had very definite opinions on how he didn't trust automated testing and thought it was a waste of time. He also had very definite opinions on procedures, standards and ISO9000 - they were an absolute must! If you didn't have standards, that was the reason your product was bad and [insert rambling dissertation on how there are a lot more bugs in products these days and if we did things like the old days, there would be less bugs.] Also, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.... as I was trying to explain to him that we were still considered a startup company that we did not have a lot of documentation and sometimes, we had to talk to the software developers... he actually made me blanch. After he got used to the idea of actually talking to a developer, he started telling me how developers were lazy and liked to take short cuts by not doing documentation and by the time he got done with them, they would be doing the documentation because it would be easier than dealing with him. Oh... my. The developers would MURDER me if we hired this guy! By this time, I was doing my best to get out of the conversation with him, thinking of smacking my boss upside the head and gnawing my own leg off. Anything to get away from this guy. Finally, I just cut him off. "My time is up. I'll go get the next interviewer." I let my boss know I was done and my peer could go next. After he left, I looked at my boss. He just grinned at me. "So, should we hire this guy?" I lost it. I started laughing and couldn't stop. My boss joined me. Lorna, the department AA saw my face as I escaped the conference room, so she followed me to the lab. She came in as we were howling and red faced. "That good?" She asked, mentioning she saw the look on my face. After I explained the situation to my boss and her, she nodded... "Well, I don't think [the VP] will be talking to him this afternoon." I also accused my boss of being cruel. His response was, "Why should I be the one with all the fun? Besides, I needed a gauge to see if I was just completely off with this guy." Thanks, dude. I finally asked him if I could be involved in the phone screens of the QA candidates. Yes, it was that bad. I'm -volunteering- to phone screen people so I don't waste my time in an interview. Geez... what a day.
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Continue on to: June 2000
(Created by JLB)