June 2006

The Master Plan
This entry is killing two birds with one stone. After some serious thought, I finally answered my father's email with my answer to what I want to accomplish during my Writing Year and how I think I'm going to do it. After finishing the email and sending it off, I decided that it would be a good journal entry as well. I just sent this off to my family.

Heya Everyone,

In Dad's email to me, he wanted to know what my goal for my Writing Year was. On the phone, I told him I would get back to him on this. I wanted to think about it. In truth, I really needed to think about it. What and How. My first thought was, "I want to write. Duh." Then, my super ego booted my id to the back of the bus and said, "Let me think about this and consult with my ego."

So, I have. Yes. I want to write but that is not all. I want to travel. I want to get some other non-writing but still writing related projects done.

But, the goal? What is the goal? I am a goal oriented person. I need goals and milestones and such things that will make me feel successful. My goal for my Writing Year is the completion of two novels. I want them to the point of submission to publishing companies.

That is my main 'win or lose' goal. However this not my only goal but it is the one I will be striving for. I have three novels on tap right now. Pangborn Nomads - a modern fantasy young adult novel; The Old Woman in the White Cadillac - a modern day drama, anti-hero, human interest novel; Breaking the Chains - a far future, science fiction novel. I will write Pangborn Nomads and The Old Woman in the White Cadillac. I will continue working on the background for Breaking the Chains.

Beyond the two novels, I will have at least one Sovereign Press contract. I'm already tapped for it. I should be getting the schedule for it soon. It will start towards the end of 2006 and continue on into 2007. Most likely, I will have at least one more contract from Sovereign Press during 2007. Also, I will be looking at more RPG contracts from other companies.

Beyond the novels and the paying contracts, I have the minor goal of two new short stories ready for submission each month. If one of these is a TEoP story (if we do the second year), this is acceptable. I want to submit my short work (prose and poetry) to five places each month.

Down to the cold hard numbers: The score sheet for the Writing Year is to complete 2 new novels, complete any paying writing contracts, write 24 new short stories and submit 60 pieces of work for publication. That's the yard stick for success.

Beyond the writing goals, I have other goals for this Writing Year. I know I will absolutely need distractions away from this writing to allow my creative mind to rest. I have several projects in mind for this. These are:

1. A complete overhaul of my Skitten website that I've had since 1994. That's a lot of haphazardly done web pages. I'm going to teach myself CSS and redo the website from the ground up. This is going to take a lot of time.

2. Complete my Dream Tome. I have a huge tome that I am transcribing my 10 years worth of dream journals into.

3. Complete my poetry collection. I have a very pretty book that I am transcribing my 10+ years of poetry into.

These projects are also goals. I really want to get them done. There are others... from repainting my kitchen to systematically cleaning and purging every closet in my condo. But, those will end up on a 'honey-do' list for weekends and are not part of my success meter. They are just icing on the cake.

Next up, I plan to do some traveling. I will be going to Europe during my Writing Year. I have friends in England (whom I have met) and Sweden (who I have not met yet) who are willing to put me up for 10-14 days each. If I can find a friend in Scotland or Ireland that I can sofa surf with, I'll add them, too. That's 3-4 weeks in Europe. I won't be doing a lot of writing there except to take notes and make sketches. My trip to Europe is designed to fill the creative well.

So, now that you know what my goals are, let's talk about how I'm going to accomplish them because I know you, you'll be asking and trying to poke holes into my "cake and eat it, too" plan. However, I am a planner. I've got back up plans and back up plans for my back up plans. If I have to do the improvise shuffle, I've got a semi-baked plan for it.

We've already discussed the financial part of this. In fact, I've shared more of my financial life with you all than I ever thought I would. I'm pretty private when it comes to money. So, we don't need to discuss that anymore. Let's look at the scheduling details instead.

I will be setting up a Monday through Friday schedule. Just like regular work week. It will look something like this:

Moments of Doubt
Ever since I had my first head explodie moment in May, my mind has been on overdrive where it concerns my Writing Year. I got the idea. I moved forward. I made plans. I got approval and support. Now, I'm in the waiting period before the Writing Year starts. I have had no doubts or quibbles about doing this Writing Year until recently.

Before I go on, I want to be clear; I -am- going to do my Writing Year. Absolutely am doing it.

However, recent emotional thrashing over the purpose of going to Gen Con has given me second thoughts about the whole thing. I suppose having second thoughts on huge, possibly life changing decisions, is a natural and healthy thing to do but it still sucks. I don't like doubting myself or my abilities. I don't like doubting my plans. But, I do it anyway.

Most of the recent emotional thrashing has come around the idea that going to Gen Con Indy is an excellent opportunity to "network" and to "smooze" with industry people. The idea of this gives me hives. I cannot imagine doing a face-to-face version of the cold call: "Hi, I'm Jennifer. I have credits in these books and co-wrote this one. I'm looking for more work. Here's my card. Call me!"

I just can't do that. I don't like to do things like that. I don't want to do something like that.

In the end, I decided that I just won't. I'm going to go, have a good time, meet my editors from Sovereign Press and my co-author. I'm going to meet up with my TEoP authors and have a good time. Maybe I'll get some gaming in. I will definitely get some drinking in. If people ask, I'll pass out my cards and TEoP cards. If this gets me contacts, all the better for me and anyone I end up working for/with in the future.

However, the end result of the Gen Con thrashing has me wondering if I should do some 'networking' during my Writing Year. I hate this idea but I'm smart enough to know that you need to have industry contacts. Fiction won't sell itself. You have some work to do where it is concerned. You need to submit your work to the right people. It needs to be read and accepted. It's a good thing to get your name out there.

On the other hand, the point of the Writing Year is to write. To just sit down and really write. I have so many stories to get out of my head. I need to get them out on the page and polished. Then, submit them. Do I need to do network and push my information during the Writing Year? Probably. At least a little and it won't be easy.

Of course, there is the voice of doubt sitting on my sinister side whispering evil nothings about my probable lack of skill, talent and discipline. Add in the voice of my mother cautioning to not give up too easily because it won't be a walk in the park. Suddenly, I'm wondering what the hell I am doing, thinking of taking 'a year out of reality' to write. Am I insane? Do I really think this will amount to anything except increased debt? Insert more doubts. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Despite these doubts (and maybe, partly because of them), I am still going forward. I have working towards this opportunity for years and now that it is within my grasp, I'm not going to chicken out. I've prepared for this for a long time. I just have to trust that when I leap off that cliff, my wings are going to open and I won't plummet but soar.

I was recently reminded of one of my favorite thoughts and it is giving me courage. "Every great oak tree was once just a little nut with a BIG idea." That's me right now and I'm feeling very nutty.

My Grown-up Moment for the day: For the first time in many, many years, I have bought a watch that costs more than $15. I am very hard on watches. Or, I used to be. I don't know anymore. I hope to goodness that I'm done killing them within a week or two. Mostly because I spent $80 on a pretty nice silver and black DKNY watch.

I didn't do it for vanity. I did it for my job. I have more meetings in a day than I used to have in a week at EED; half of which I am running. Since I'm also always running around from Lab to management to meeting to wherever, and I don't take my cell phone with me, I need the watch to keep up with my schedule.

Next challenge: Remembering to put the watch on.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Fool, Inverted

Traveling Fool
The winds of change keep on coming. Every single time I think to myself, "You know, this is pretty cool. The department really does make a difference. I could come back to the Evil Empire on an FTE basis," something comes along and smacks me upside the head and reminds of why I left in the first place.

Yes, there has been a re-org. I have no idea what is going to happen now because my project, but not my boss, has been re-org'd into another, much larger group. So, my boss gets to come back from vacation tomorrow to discover this. It may have absolutely no impact on me or my day-to-day work at all. It may mean that I'm out of a job in a couple weeks. I don't know. We'll have to see. It's just one of a couple unpleasant things I need to talk about with my boss when he gets back. I tell you, after running this department for 2 weeks; I know I certainly don't want his job.

On the cool side of life, one of my minions came to me today for advice about his career and where he should go with it. We had a talk about his strengths and weaknesses, what he likes to do and what he hates and generally sussed things out that way. It was pretty neat to have that sort of talk with someone. If Hans wasn't in Scotland, I would have hooked the two of them up together because Hans has a great insight in to that and being a dev.

We've started something that I hope to become a regular thing once or twice a month at the Nexus. I was going to call it "Sunday Dinner" but twice now, I've automatically typed "Family Dinner." I suppose that's because the people I hang out with at the Nexus and those who join us are my family by choice. It was just something I noticed and thought I should comment on.

I'm going to be a traveling fool during the next few months. I had not planned it that way but that's what happened.

This weekend is a trip to CA to go to the commitment ceremony of a couple of good friends of mine who got together, in part, because I told them both to enjoy the fling but don't count on anything long term. Both were the 'rebound' guy/gal and neither wanted a commitment. My strong recommendation was for them to just relax and have fun while it lasted. That was ten years ago. I'm really quite pleased by all this. It's worth it to me to fly down there for less than 48 hours and spend that time celebrating with them.

In August, I'm going to do a four day whirlwind trip to Gen Con Indy. I've bought my tickets. I couldn't get a non-stop. I have one connection each way. I'm going to arrive early on Thursday of Gen Con and leave late on Sunday of Gen Con. I have no idea what is going to happen in-between except I'm going to meet a whole bunch of very cool people including my editors at Sovereign Press whom I've already promised that I will not burst into a confetti of squee-ing fan girl at Margaret Weis. However, I will take a couple of well thumbed books for her signature.

In September, I'm going to take my annual road trip to Conquest and spend a week afterwards visiting with friends. I absolutely adore the drive from Seattle to the Bay Area. There is something about it that refreshes me. (Not to mention I get to stop at Grants Pass.) I'll go to Conquest, then hang out for a week then spend a couple days in Sacramento before heading back up. I'll visit all my friends and favorite hangouts and just generally 'be.'

I have other trips coming up like a family reunion at Christmas and my trip to Europe in 2007 but neither of them is planned out yet. Still, it is a lot of traveling and makes me smile.

On the writing front, I've pinged my Grants Pass people with the following email:

Hello Everyone,

I know it has been a long time since I've spoken to most of you. Grants Pass has been a multi-year adventure for me as well. But, it looks like we are coming to the end of one phase (compiling and editing) and moving towards the beginning of the next phase (publication).

I've finally reached the 57,000 mark on Grants Pass and approved a query for a 12,000 word story. This will bump us up to well over my 60,000 word minimum. At that point, Grants Pass will be officially closed but, I will still allow the occasional story in based on recommendations of other Grants Pass Authors until we need to set the copy edit and go to press.

At this time, I have a query into DAW that has been there for almost two months without a response yet (not unusual) and I have several friends who have contacts into TOR. Hopefully soon, a second query will be going out to them.

What do I need from you? Two things: First, I need a 100-250 word bio for the anthology. Second, I need your opinion on something.

As much as I want to go with a big name publisher on this project, I am willing to drop to a small press or even Print on Demand (though, that is my last desire). I'm wondering what your thoughts are: Hold out for big press, look into small press or investigate something like lulu.com and do POD. Also, do you have a recommendation on the small press?

Thanks!
Jennifer
Editor, Grants Pass Anthology

Every single one wants me to wait for the large publishers. About 50% recommended small press publishers just in case and almost everyone did not want to do POD. I'm really glad; this suits my line of thinking exactly. I'm willing to wait and try for the brass ring. I think I have a quality book here.

In the meantime, I've still got TEoP in the works, some writing for my Conquest game and I've started a little thing I'm calling "Freaky Friday Fiction" that I post every Friday in my livejournal. Basically, they are short *splats* 1000 words or less of something freaky. It gives me an escape and a release of aggression at the end of the week. Also, it's really kind of nice to write something I have no intention of ever publishing.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Magician