July 2001

Sexy Shelia

The weekend turned out to be pretty good, despite my lack of my own car. I stay home Friday night, read, watched TV and chatted online. Not real exciting but not too bad. Saturday, I had a Castle Marrach function that was supposed to be about 3 hours and ended up being 6. I was so glad when Donna wandered into my room and told me that, if I wanted, I could take the van to go out, that I could have kissed her. So, off I went to Rob's Aberrant game. Yah! Sunday was another day of reading, TV and Marrach.

The funny thing about Saturday is that if the Marrach event had only gone on about 3 hours, I probably would have been feeling too lazy to drive out the 35 miles to James' house for the game. However, by the end of 6 hours, I was so ready to be away from the bloody computer, my room and my house, I think I could have walked part of the way there. (At least, until the left knee and ankle started to complain.)

I had a blast at the Aberrant game. There are four players so far (with two more on the way) and one rather toothsome, but very married, GM. I'm playing Sigrid Hottengar AKA Stratha, another brick. Gosh, I like playing superhero bricks! I'm so used to playing the thoughtful, political, sneaky types that it is a pure joy to play someone who can lift 50 tons and punch the dickens out of things. I got to drop a truck on a bad guy! Woo-hoo!

Ah, yes. There was a bit of rather surreal dreamage this weekend, too. I don't know why I have Steve Urwin on the brain but I do. That much is obvious. It's almost frightening. I wonder if it's because I almost always have Animal Planet on in the background if I'm on the computer.

Sexy Shelia - What can I say? It's a Steve Urwin experience to remember.

Da Boss is back from two weeks of vacation. I have to say, the month of June was very unstressful for me, despite all of the work that we've been doing in the last two weeks. He is in a good mood. No wonder. Two weeks in the Florida sun.

We played a joke on him, as well. Last time he went on vacation, when he returned, his cube had been moved to another spot to make room for a new QA Engineer. He knew it was going to happen but he had forgotten about it. So, he was fairly surprised. Also, he didn't know where the new cube was supposed to be.

This time, his cube wasn't suppose to move - yet. But his boss, who is the VP of Engineering and my former boss from 3DO, decided it would be amusing to move him again. Only, not to one cube but two. So, his computer is in his old cube. Some of his stuff is in the one empty QA engineer's cube and some of his stuff is in the cube he was supposed to be moving into next week. He's amused by it all. He is saying that he's going to keep it like this so he's a moving target and no one will ever be able to find him.

Tarot Card for the Day: Knight of Swords

Celebration of Freedom

Ah, yes. The annual celebration of freedom and the right to be as silly and stupid as we want to be was marked by the usual drinking of mind altering substances and the lighting of dangerous explosives - often at the same time. I had a blast! (so to speak... hehehe)

This was the second annual BBQ and fireworks at DJ's house. I think I can say, without reservation, DJ did a damn fine job on the fireworks this year. Last year, they were so-so. This year, wow, they were really cool. Lots of sparkling, noisy, colorful fountains and flowers and crackers. Not so many screamers (thank goodness) unless you count the kids. There were six of them this year. Ages 12, 9, 7, 6, 5 and 5. I think that also accounted for the toning down of alcohol consumption. Too many smalls running around.

Rob and Lisa were there with their kids, Kyle and Kristina. We caught up a bit. Rob was forced into working swing shifts - 2 to 11pm, so Lisa never gets to see him because she works 8 to 5pm plus commute time. That means Lisa is spending almost all her nights alone, except on Thursdays and Fridays. I've promised her that I would make the effort to come visit and have dinner with her a lot more often than I have been. On the good side, Rob's going to take this opportunity to take some morning classes.

DJ and Kristina have been together for 2.5 years now. I was stunned at that number. Happy but surprised. Wow. Had all that time really passed by? I guess it had. It seemed like just last week I met Kristina for the first time. Nichelle is still a little leery of me from last New Year's when I had to take a popper away from her before she exploded it in her face. I did, at least, get a wave from her. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we'll be seeing DJ for New Year's this year. He says he was looking at his schedule, he will be working Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. That really sucks.

I met some of DJ's family and some friends of Rob and Lisa who went to high school with them but darned if I can remember any of their names. However, they seemed like nice people. It was a really good "All American" family kind of experience. All that was missing was the soundtrack with Lee Greenwood's "Proud to An American" playing. Nope. Just to prove that we are still on the weird side, we had Pink Floyd's "The Wall" as our soundtrack for the fireworks.

Happily, I have my car back at (unhappily) a ransom of some $3300 plus change. *wince* Man, it hurt to write that check. But, you know what? Since it looks like I'm gonna have this car for another couple of years, I'm definitely going to get the car detailed inside and out as well as get a new stereo for it. I've spent enough money that it might as well -seem- like a new car. A new stereo and a detailing ought to take care of that.

But, it looks like my electrical gremlins are back. First, I tried to take money out of the ATM and the ATM denied me, telling me to call support. Anyone who knows me, knows just how careful I am with my money and just how strange such an occurrence is. I would have fumed all the way to work... however, I was mildly freaking out over the fact that, suddenly, my brake warning light was coming on, telling me that my brake lights weren't working - at least, until I went over the Dumbarton bridge. Then, the gremlin decided that it wasn't my brakes. Nope. It told me that my door was open every time I braked.

I don't have the faintest clue as to what is actually going on in my car's electrical system, but as long as my brake lights work, I'm good to go. As you can imagine, when I got to work and called my bank, they had no explanation on why my ATM card had been rejected. They surmised that the ATM machine in question didn't have enough funds or it was broken. I was assured that my account was just fine.

I keep having this strange thought. Later, after I've discovered for sure that I'm immortal and many, many years have passed by... I wonder what I will think when I look back on these years and my life. Will I be amused? Remiscient? Wistful for the 'good old days'? It's a thought that creeps up on me all the time. It is as if I cannot imagine myself dying. Ever.

Ok. So, I'm weird. Sue me.

Tarot Card for the Day: Knight of Swords, Inverted

Black Gate

The weekend was a quiet one much to my enjoyment. The Star Wars game was pretty good. Though, I learned how my specialized character is fairly ineffectual in anything that isn't within her field of specialization. Much to my surprise, and to Alex's enjoyment, I got to witness the death of one of my previous characters. Well, the death of a -clone- of one of my previous Star Wars characters, Duvessa LiCidan. Apparently, the crossed over bad guy from the previous game, Darth Stygoss, cloned the whole crew of the previous game. Though, we only got to see (and kill) Johanna and my characters; Yahnna and Duvessa (respectively).

The rest of the weekend was taken up either by the special event, the Winter Ball, held on Castle Marrach or by my Babylon 5 books on Psi Corps. Admittedly, I spent a LOT of time with my nose in a book this weekend. It was really nice.

YEAH! The second issue of Black Gate magazine is out! Finally. With two of my articles, no less! *woo-hoo* I even got paid! Both in check and issues of the magazine. It look fabulous! Of course, this means I actually have do that rewrite on my Castle Marrach review. I have until August 1st. I can't do it this week because I have two Edanya stories to write and perform by the 16th. But after that, I concentrate on my Black Gate magazine feature.

There is one thing that happened this weekend that has me pretty concerned. Unfortunately, I can't really talk about it here. I'm so afraid of doing the wrong thing that I'm almost paralyzed with indecision.

Tarot Card for the Day: Queen of Swords

One Very Happy Camper (Mostly)

I had dinner with Laurel last night. We had THE BEST time. We went Hungry Hunter. We ate and we laughed and we talked and we laughed more and we talked more. We came home and we continued to gossip like old fish wives. I think we gabbed for 4 1/2 hours straight with nary a pause. I was really sorry to have to point out to Laurel that it was 11:30pm and I really needed to sleep. We've promised to do this again real soon. I've missed talking to her. I'm glad we are hooking up again.

It always makes me smile when I get an email from someone I don't know, but who reads and likes my journal. Zillagrrl made me smile big time when she wrote me to say,

"Just a note, I don't know if you even check your IP stats, much less wonder about who the folks might be behind them, but well, I guess I just wanted you to know that I find you interesting and amusing, and while I haven't gamed in over a decade, I even find your gaming stories to be interesting, and in general I can relate to them and some of the feelings that you expound upon. Thank you for being brave enough to actually put your feelings out there for the rest of us instead of just using your journal as a place to "prove you were right"."

Wow. Thanks, Zillagrrl! I appreciate it.

Yes, yes. I love it when I get comments and suggestions from my face to face friends like Johanna and Michael, too. But, it's still pretty keen to have someone you don't know at all think you are interesting and amusing based on your journal.

I had my annual review today. It was so totally awesome. I got compliments all over the place, a rating of 4 in 8 of 20 areas - Above average and the rest were rated at 3. All very good. A great improvement over last year. So, I got a 4% raise (which is nothing to sneeze at when were laying off people not 3 months ago), a stock option award that was 50% above what I already had and the declaration that not only am I the Queen of the Obscure project, I'm one of the top team players in the whole Engineering team.

On the sucky side of things, I have decided to drop out of the Thursday night game for a couple of reasons. The most important reason being that I want to use that time for my writing. If I want to be serious about my writing, I need to spend more time doing it. I write for a magazine, I still have a novel in the works and now my new anthology.

Black Gate magazine is up and running well now, being sold at both Crown Books and Barnes & Noble. My deadlines for my articles are going to be coming faster and more frequent now. Also, I have an honest chance of publishing that Anthology of short stories in early to mid-2002. But only if I get all of the stories written, and written well, in a timely manner.

It sucked having to make this choice but I think it was the best one for me at this time. I'm just hoping I still get to see my friends from that gaming group more than once in a great while. It was one of the main reasons I gamed with them - to socialize with them - beyond the kick-ass games that Rich and that crew run. I've talked to Rich about it and he's pretty unhappy with me but, he accepts why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Tarot Card for the Day: Queen of Swords, Inverted

Alcohol Tasting in Napa Valley

Yesterday was a very long but very good day for me. A bunch (Me, Greg, David, BenL, Shauna, Rich and Cil) of us when sake and wine tasting in the Napa valley as a celebration for GregE's birthday. I was the designated driver. Now, this being Shauna and that crew, we weren't working on normal time. I knew this, so I was already in "Don't worry about getting anywhere 'on time' mode."

I got to Greg's house about 9:45. Everyone was supposed to meet at 10:00am. That's when I discovered that we didn't have a van yet. No biggie. Greg was calling around but these thieves wanted $129 per day for a Suck-UV! They didn't have what we wanted and they wanted to charge us through the nose for what they did.

Somewhere in there, Greg called Rich and Cil to discover that they weren't even up, so they weren't going to be over until about 11:15. Greg called Shauna to tell her and discovered that Joe didn't want to go anymore. Ok. So, we were down to six. I thought, "Hey! Donna's van holds six. Maybe she'll let us borrow it." I called and she did. Greg and I got to my place and put the extra seats in the van, went back to his place to discover Shauna was there and she invited BenL along but we only had 6 seats. There was a bit of a discussion on how we were going to work things, but in the end, we were back to two cars again. Me in the van with Cil, Rich, Greg and David. Ben and Shauna in Ben's car.

All that was left to do to get to where we were going was getting Ben in Berkeley and getting food... which was now becoming a priority. Once all that was do and we were finally on the road, it was something like 1pm. But, that was fine by me. All I was doing was driving and being company.

We got to the first place, Hakusan, one of the best sake brewers I have ever tasted. I didn't have to taste anything to know I liked their stuff. I bought a bottle of the plum sake, a bottle of the raspberry sake and a box of dark chocolates filled with plum sake. *mmmm* Of course, I couldn't have any of it right then.

After enjoying the sake, we did the little self tour and strolled through the Zen garden. That was really nice. They had a huge sand and rock garden... which caused the worse pun of the day... BenL asked, looking at the large garden, "So, do you think they use a Zenboni to make all those lines in the garden?" At first, most of us didn't get it. I did. I groaned. People wanted to know why. So, Ben repeated it. *twitch* Then, everyone got it. That's when Shauna popped up the image of Snoopy on the Zenboni. We discussed that as we went back to the van.

As it was a bit past 2pm and Shauna -really- wanted to go to V. Sattui Winery in St. Helena for some Madeira and most wineries close at 5 or 5:30, we decided to go there and hit any other wineries on the way back if we had time.

By the time we got there and started looking around, we decided that we were really hungry again. That's when Ben, who was driving the other car, decided that if we did the wine tasting now then ate here for dinner, we would be fine. Everyone agreed. So, I joined in on the wine tasting. I'm not much of a wine drinker, so I wasn't worried on my alcohol consumption.

I tried 5 wines: A dry Riesling, an off dry Riesling, the Gamay Rouge, the 2000 Muscat and the California Madeira. I skipped the reds. I know I don't like them. I hated the Rieslings. Too much alcohol taste. But I, surprisingly, adored the Gamay Rouge and the Muscat. Both where light and fruity without a lot of alcohol bite. The Madeira was only so-so. Too much of a brandy flavor that was way too strong. But, I think my Dad would like it. I'm seriously considering sending some wine to my parents - just cause.

After that, we gathered up a bunch of goodies from the deli, found a picnic table and proceeded to munch for the next hour or so. It was great. All sort of different foods. Some of us had wine. Some of us had soda. At around 5, 5:30pm, we had to leave because they were setting up our area for a wedding. We got to see the bride and two bridesmaids briefly on a balcony of the winery. It was actually a very pretty sight.

Finally, we headed home. Ben took off in his own car and I took the rest of us home. Shauna decided to go home and bake while Rich, Cil, David and Greg went to Rich and Cil's to watch Unbreakable. Me? It was 8pm and I was pretty dog tired after driving some 190 miles throughout the day. So, I headed home, finished off some of my goodies while I finished off the second Psi Corps book and happily relaxed.

So, now I have more alcohol in my house for me than I have had in the past year. It's a good thing that wine and sake keep so well. Though, I think I'm going to have to break open the wine only when I'm planning on cooking with it and having company over. Maybe one of my dinners with Laurel, James and David. I can already taste sautéed chick in that Muscat with a light cream sauce over rice... oh, yum!

Wait, wine tasting and nice dinners... does this mean I'm growing up? I hope not!

Tarot Card for the Day: King of Swords

Tickled Pink

Lately, things have been just going really good. I've been very happy, satisfied and content. It's kind of amazing, you know? For lots of reasons, I am just in a joyous mood. I'm just tickled pink...

... because I got my hair cut really short. It's a short chin-length bob with long layers. Yes, I freak out now and then, wondering where my hair went but over all, it's a good cut. Very easy to care for. I can just wash, combo and go. It looks nice. If I want to dress up, I can curl my hair and make it all fancy.

... because of my annual review. Yes! I am -still- riding high on this. I love my raise. I love the fact that I can work and slack at work without getting in trouble. I'm really happy my boss likes my work. I'm really happy that my work is being looked at and that it does affect the project. I'm really happy I'm making a real difference in the department in a positive manner. *bounce* I like pats on the head that come with money and stock.

... because I finally got to see Shauna's new house and have discovered that she's living in the Stepford Wives community. This is funny and ironic. Shauna is anything but typical. Yet, here she is, living in a clome (clone home) on a street where every house is a mirror of the other and every yard has the same, exact, white blooming tree in the same, exact place to the right of the driveway. She's pretty happy and amused, too. Her neighbors actually greeted her when she moved in. What's even more funny to me is that I will probably end up in a home like that, too.

... because my Storytelling hour with Edanya went really well. I think I startled some people with my first tale, "Ale Kittens." (1500 words) They were really quiet during it. But, I had them all wrapped around my little finger for "The Queen's Champion." (2500 words) That's five Hucked Tankard Tales and five Tales of Castle Marrach so far. One more step closer to my novel of short stories for mid-2002.

... because I have seriously started deliberately working towards getting my novel finished. I had to make a tough decision, but I did it. Once I did it, stuck to it and smooth a couple of ruffled feathers, I got a feeling of power and rightness. I -am- doing the right thing to get my book published. I am positively working towards one of my life long dreams. I know I'm going to do it!

... because I have finished my June and July poems - "In the Zone" and its contrasting companion piece "Scatterbrained." I've been thinking about these two poems on and off for the last six weeks. I am especially proud of "In the Zone" because I think I've captured how I can be when I'm writing and suddenly, I'm distracted - the disorientation and reluctant return to reality.

Tarot Card for the Day: King of Swords, Inverted

Totally Restless

It was a pretty good weekend. Friday, I met up with friends at Round Table to talk about Alex & Johanna's Babylon 5 LARP on the 4th. I gave Johanna her birthday gift because I wasn't sure I would see her on Sunday or not. It was a saku set with some really good sake. I think she suspected it, knowing I had just recently gone to Napa Valley.

Met a couple new people. They seemed nice enough. It should be interesting gaming with them. It was nice seeing Casey. We carpooled together. He's been working some really long hours. So, we headed home around 9:30. But, he wasn't too tired to try his usual pass that I turned down, as usual. I think, if I ever accept it, the sun will go black.

Saturday was Bob's AD&D game. We only had 3 characters there, so it was pretty casual. Howard and I spent a lot of time ICly sniping at each other. I'm playing a 30 year old scary shadow warrior elf. He's playing a 14 year old half-elf mage prodigy. Yes. I have become "Mom" again in a very twisted older warrior way. That was pretty fun.

Oh, yeah. We finked on one of our party members and got his hand cut off for stealing and sentenced to 20 years of hard labor. My character managed to argue it down from death. I'm not sure how. That wasn't my intention. The rest of the game was a surreal cake walk with us, level 3 and 4 characters, escorting a 14th level druid to her destination. I'm not sure why she needed us but we were -well- paid. Maybe it was because of the Demon we managed to take on and kill. *grin*

Sunday was a rather restless day of pacing around the house, sorta writing, sorta watching wrestling, sorta playing online and sorta trying to write. I couldn't settle on any one thing to do. I was always fidgeting and getting distracted from whatever I was doing. Nothing made me happy. Nothing drew my interest. Nothing kept my interest. Heck, I finally went to bed out of lack of anything else to do.

I've been having this restless feeling for a couple days now. I don't know why. I can't put my finger on it. I know I have to get my feature on Castle Marrach done for Black Gate magazine this week but I just can't get myself too interested in it. I'm sure I'll do it. I just hate waiting to the last minute. This time I was trying to avoid that. But it's not working. It's almost as if I have to wait to the last minute to get it done.

I'm having trouble concentrating at work - on anything. Work, play, writing, meetings, music. Well, maybe not music. I have this urge to lie in a field, watch the clouds and listen to music... But not 'sweet' or 'light' music. No. I want to hear Queensryche, Survivor, Def Leppard, BOC, Metallica... that big sounding music. Almost rock opera. Just to lose myself in the sound for a few hours... or days... That sounds really nice.

Tarot Card for the Day: Ace of Pentacles

July 25, 2001
All Done

First things first. I was a good girl! I sat down and revised my Castle Marrach feature for Black Gate Issue #3. I took out a lot of filler about the guilds because I didn't know what else to write at the time. This time, I had a nice frame to work with, so I got rid of the crap and added some interesting stuff about the differences in culture and environment between the Inner and Outer Baileys. Amazingly enough, my 1809 word feature became 1925 words - after I chopped off about 450 words of filler crap and added the new section. I reread it three or four times, tweaking it here and there... then, off it went to my editor. So, for Issue #3, I have a review on Traveler and a feature on Castle Marrach!

That reminds me. I need to cash the check for Issue #2. I just got it last week.

I can't wait to see what I'm doing for Issue #4. Yes. It -is- my goal to be in every Black Gate issue I can. Why do you ask? *grin* I'm building a small portfolio here.

That reminds me. I should update my "Published Works" page. Maybe this weekend.

This time around, I think I'm going to select a couple of the novels to review. I like doing gaming books but I'd like to try my hand at a standard book review and recommendation. I don't think it will be that hard... Maybe. I don't know. These are my English professors I'm writing for. Ah, well. We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

OH! Say it isn't so!! Eleanor of Ellipses... has decided to "... dot off into the sunset..." and end her journal. I'm heartbroken. I've always loved reading her. Looking at her pictures, Eleanor has always reminded me of a young Sharon Stone. *whine* I really don't want her to stop journaling. *sigh* Hopefully, she'll come back with something like a column or stories or I don't know. Gonna miss you, Eleanor.

So, I get this email that starts... "Dad had his surgery today..." and my first thought was "ACK! Dad had surgery??!! How come this is the first time I've heard of this?!" In fact, I think those where my exact words back to my mom. Turned out that it was a surgery to fix the botched hernia operation my dad had a few years (decades? thinking... thinking... Fort Dix... I was 13... I'm 30..... 17 years) ago while he was a drill instructor in the Army.

Dad's doing fine now. He's off work until the beginning of September. I'm sure he's gonna love that - except for the pain in the groin region. *OW* Mom sounds like she's wishing December was here. She tells me, "Actually, I'm the one who could use help. I have my patient (your Dad!), 2 spoiled dogs, a 14 month old and a 3.5 year old AND a deck being built on the back of the house. This place is a ZOO. And, I was elected zookeeper - they won't accept my resignation either."

Poor Mom. Shannon takes the kids back in December. They are SOOOOO cute! But, they are both toddlers... and siblings... and competitors for attention. Mom isn't getting any younger. Though, apparently, she's getting skinner from all the running around she's doing to keep up with my nieces!

Tarot Card for the Day: Ace of Pentacles, Inverted

This First Step

Ok. I'm going to branch of here into a touchy subject that is sometimes hard for me to talk about. My weight. I am, by doctors' standards "morbidly obese." (*wince* I hate that word.) That means, despite the fact that my heart rate is good and my blood pressure is fine, I am still at a serious health risk. I am, approximately, twice the weight I should be. I know it. But nobody who sees me knows it.

Oh, sure, they know I'm overweight. But, because of my ability to dress to conceal and the way I carry myself... and the fact that most people have no real ability to figure out how much someone weighs... they cannot tell that I am about 330 pounds.

I said it. You have no hard it was to write that sentence and put the hard fact down on paper. I weigh about 330 pounds.

Back in March, when I had lost the 16 pounds, I didn't mention how much I weighed because I didn't want to take away the victory of that moment by looking at the cold hard number and have that little voice in the back of my head pop up, "Nice going - not that anyone can tell. 16 pounds. 10% done. 90% to go." I wasn't ready to take on combating my weight problem.

It's taken me about 18 months to get myself ready to combat my weight problem. I was suppose to take it on in Jan 2000. I didn't. I found other things to worry about - looking for a new house, failing that, rearranging my rooms around, breaking my leg (though, no... I didn't break my leg in order to avoid dieting... it was an accident) and my writing.

Especially my dreams and writing. You see, in my dreams, the people are all unique and have flaws... but not one of my characters has a weight problem. It was only recently that I created a 'plump' character for Marrach. I guess that was an unconscious signal to me that I was ready to start dealing with this issue. The other problem is that in my mind's eye... I am still that svelte 160 college woman who looked damn fine in her Class A's and accidently put her boyfriend's jeans on after sex one time... and couldn't figure out what was wrong with her jeans at first. I want that back again.

So. Starting next Monday, I'm going on the Atkins program. Lo-carb. Hi-protein. There is a lady here at work who does it because she is diabetic. She's sent me a LOT of information on Lo-carb stuff. I have heard from other journallers, Julie and Horus, that it works.

I'm going to try it because of a couple of reasons. It is a fast working program with people I know who have had success on it. Also, because there are a lot of things on it that I like. I am a meat and cheese eater. I think I can handle not eating bread, pasta or potatoes over not eating meat, peanuts and cheese.

I know this is going to start becoming a major factor in my life soon. I hope it doesn't become too boring for you all who read me. I may start a separate page to deal with the whole diet (and much later, exercise) issue. Most likely, I'll just leave it to weekly reports here.

In any case, wish me luck. I hate to admit it, but the idea of me actually tackling this, being overweight, scares the pants off of me. It's so close and personal that I practically come to tears just thinking about it. So many fears. So many doubts. It's another hump for me to haul myself over. I'll do it. I know I will. It's just that this first step is a damn long one.

Tarot Card for the Day: Two of Pentacles

It Has Begun

The weekend was pretty busy despite a couple of things being cancelled on me. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Friday, I went shopping... lots of shopping. I bought way too many clothes, especially for me to be starting the Atkins program. Maybe the splurge was to state that... well... I don't know. Maybe that I'm in control? I'm not sure. However, I did get a lot of nice clothes to wear.

Also, I went grocery shopping. I've rediscovered two things. First, Friday evening is a great time to go grocery shopping. There's no one in the store. That's one of the reasons I hate grocery shopping - how busy and crowded it always is. Second, meat and veggies are -expensive-. I mean really expensive. It's a good thing I'm not going to be eating out as much.

Saturday was Sekt Valir. In a surprising turn of events, the Moonwards surrendering to the Medrean Empire caused the defeat of the Medrean Empress, her nephew to become Emperor and the changing of how slaves and slavery are viewed. It was almost a bloodless coup. Believe me, that wasn't the thought when the Moonward cousins surrendered. They did it to save the rest of the party and the family we were staying with. However, when you've spent the last 5 years in game time traveling, making friends and marrying nobility of other countries... it's amazing the amount of support and firepower that can be mustered when it is honestly needed.

Sunday was the CAST game. I'm playing my newest character, Anabeth Scott. Ventrue. The second Ventrue I've ever played. There really wasn't much for me to do this first game due to the fact that a number of people weren't there and those who were, were mostly in the primogen meeting. Though, I was fairly entertained by watching all that went on.

I'm not sure what Alex meant by needing another Ventrue for support. It was pretty clear to me that he completely rules that game. People stand around and wait for him to tell them to do things - including the seneschal who is a scary elder Nosferatu. Almost every main scene that went on, went on because Alex orchestrated it. Maybe I just didn't see some of the behind the scenes things. But, in the limelight, it's all Alex.

Afterwards, I rushed home to get dinner ready for me and Laurel, only to have James call me and tell me that Laurel forgot and was on her way to Marin for supplies. It seems that Laurel and James have decided to drive up to GenCon with Dave. While I'm happy for them, I was pretty upset last night. I had declined the invitation to go out Alex, Johanna and several others after the game because I promised to have dinner with Laurel. So, after getting James off the phone as quickly as possible so I didn't lash out at him, I grumped around the house for a while.

I think it's great that they can just drop everything and decide to go do something like drive up to GenCon but, part of me is really jealous and spiteful over it. I can't help myself. I want to be able to just drop everything and 'go do', too. But, I have a responsibility to my house and my job.

I think I'm just grumpy.

I've started the Atkins program. I weighed 323 this morning. So, that's my starting weight. My first goal is 310. My first reward is 5-10 DVDs of my choice from my wishlist. I've really prepared. I've got the food, and the book for logging what I eat. I've even figured out my lunches and snacks. You see, one rule on this program is: If you are hungry, eat something. In fact, I have a great lunch of chicken and cheese and diet Mountain Dew all made up. I also remembered the boiled eggs for my afternoon munchies.

There's only one problem. My lunchbox is still sitting on my kitchen table while I'm here at work.

*grump* Good thing I'd already thought of contingency plans for just this case. The lunch truck sells chef salads and boiled eggs. Guess what I'm having for lunch and snack? *grump* I'd still rather have the chicken. Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Not an auspicious beginning, but at least I have a solution.

Finally, I'd like to thank everyone who sent me emails of support, concern and encouragement. Yes. I have seen my doctor. She wasn't thrilled about the Atkins' program. She wanted me to go on an 1800 calorie diet. I already know I don't do well on calorie counting things. Then, she offered to put me on Xenical. I know John is on it with good success but, I'm really am leery of drugs, especially after the phen-phen debacle. She finally told me to make sure I took my vitamins and that I did drink the required amount of water. So, I am.

Tarot Card for the Day: Two of Pentacles, Inverted