February 2009

25 Facts About Me
1. I really do have plans for the apocalypse – many types of them – including the Zombie apocalypse. I have an Apocalypse Closet that has my apocalypse gear in it. It is not stocked to my satisfaction, yet. But it will be one day.

2. I have personally rescued 43 kittens by fostering them. Eventually, I will get back into fostering more kittens.

3. I cringe inside every time one of my friends mentions "I've thought about writing and getting published" to me. I don't have a specific reason for the cringing. Each person makes me cringe for a different reason.

4. I do not want children. I don't hate children. They are great when they belong to someone else.

5. Susan Cooper and her "Dark is Rising" series is the reason I am an author today. I have wanted to be an author since I was 11 years old.

6. My favorite author is Stephen King. I have almost all of his books and reread them on a regular basis.

7. I really do look like my mother. If you want to know what I will look at 65, look at her.

8. Whenever I hear a bang, I look at the clock so I can tell the police what time I heard the gunshot.

9. I daydream about what it would be like to be interviewed by various talk show hosts when I am a famous author.

10. I really could spend the rest of my writing career writing for RPGs as long as it included writing novels. I adore working in the RPG industry.

11. The heaviest I have weighed as an adult was 350 pounds.

12. The lightest I have weighed as an adult was 143 pounds – my 'optimum weight" – right out of boot camp. I looked like a skeleton.

13. My current weight fluctuates between 240-250 pounds. I really want to shift this down to about 200 pounds.

14. Occasionally, I am envious of my friends who have successfully sold and published solo cover credit novels.

15. Between the ages of 3 and 13, my nickname was "Calamity Jane" because I was always hurting something. However, I never broke a bone until I was in my thirties.

16. I wrote glasses or contacts from the ages of 10 until 32. I was considered legally blind the day I had Lasik eye surgery. Since then, my eyesight has been 20/20.

17. While I do own three cats and prefer cats to dogs, I am mildly allergic to cats.

18. I have a twin brother but, growing up, most people assumed that my old sister and I were the twins.

19. My mom reads all of the stories I write and edits them for me. (Except for the erotica because she doesn't want to read it and I don't want her to read it because… ew. How weird would that be?)

20. I eat Cheetos with chopsticks so my hands don't get messy.

21. My favorite soda is Diet Rite cola.

22. I am chuffed that my husband is actually looking forward to being known as "Mr. Brozek" at conventions and such since he is my husband and I'm the pro-guest.

23. I am still surprised when people know who I am at conventions. I am even more surprised when they can site something I've written.

24. I am a 200 point GURPS character because I was a sidekick character in a webcomic called "Casey & Andy." It is weird to think that someone could be role-playing me in a game.

25. I adore "Disaster porn" – Mega-Disasters series, How the World Will End series, Destroyed in Seconds series – and will watch most disaster movies just to see an iconic landmark obliterated. And yet, I am an optimist.

Radcon Report
Radcon was definitely a much more "working" convention for me. This isn't to say that I did not have fun. But it is to say that I went there with the express purpose of meeting other editors, publishers and authors in the industry (networking), to talk up the Grants Pass anthology and my webzine, The Edge of Propinquity (marketing and recruitment for authors), as well as get my name and face out there (general PR).

I also went to enjoy myself in a convention atmosphere. The highlight of the convention (in a non-working sense) was squeaking in delight with Alma Alexander (the writer GOH) over the birds of prey panel in which we got to see a kestrel, a peregrine falcon, a Harris hawk, a horned owl, a barn owl and a golden eagle up close and personal. We had our pictures taken with the golden eagle. That thing was just amazing.

The other highlights of the convention included talking with Jay Lake, Shannon Page and Ken Scholes off and on. Jay, Shannon and I all took pictures with the cover printout of the Grants Pass anthology cover because I thought it would be neat. Anthology authors are often so wide spread that it is rare to get more than two of them in a room at the same time. Ken and I had a panel together and we both did the "I know you but I don't know why" thing that is so common at conventions. I figured out that I knew Ken because of his road trip with Jay and because of the books he writes. He decided he heard of me through Jay as well.

Radcon was, most definitely, a "relax-a-con" in atmosphere and administration. However, it was nice that most of the writer panels were on the same floor and wing as each other. The reading "room" (end of the hallway) was over by the Small Press room (who threw the best room party) and I did get to hear a couple of authors read, including Jay who makes me mutter "I don't suck. He's just damn good."

Emotionally, this convention was hard for me. I didn't really know anyone there except in passing for the most part. Thank goodness my husband came with me to keep my company, get me coffee in the morning, keep me from getting lost and generally being super supportive. He helped keep me from feeling lost in the crowd and was happy to follow me from room party to room party while I made the rounds to see people, reacquaint myself with other authors I'd already met at other conventions and to pick up business cards. I love my honey. He's so good to me. (And yes, he did remember Valentine's Day. I got him good chocolate. He got me beautiful diamond stud earrings.)

I do have a fistful of cards from the convention to follow up on. No solid freelance prospects but some really good places to start looking. Shimmerzine is #1 now that I've met the editor, Beth Wodzinski, and know a bit more about what she is looking for. Ditto with Talebones, after hearing some specifics from Patrick Swenson – he is old school in thought and process.

I really do go to these conventions to learn as much as I can as well as put myself out there. People in the audience may laugh when they see me writing notes when a pro gives a hint about something someone is looking for but I know I'm not the only pro doing it. It is important to stay up-to-date and write down those tidbits of information that may or may not help your career in the future.

I think it was a successful convention for me. I got to shake hands, raise a toast and meet people in all parts of the industry and show off my first baby, Grants Pass. It was the first convention for me to show off what I worked so hard to get out there. I passed around a bunch of my personal business cards and a bunch of TEoP cards in hopes of getting some really good authors and in general, I had a good time.

Stop the World
Monday was a bad day. It was the epitome of "bad Mondays" and, honestly, I don't remember why other than I was sick, had been sick for about three weeks straight – through a convention, a lot of Amazon work and writing. Then some drama reared its ugly head and I snapped in a bad way. I knew it was time to take some time off, to not work, to not write, to not edit, to not deal with anything other than sleeping, reading, watching TV or playing mindless video games.

I think I've slept more in the last four days than I have in the previous week and I feel so much better. I really do. I did nothing. I got off the world for a bit and recuperated. I think I can say I'm over being sick finally. Also, I'm back to dreaming which tells me I'm getting enough rest. Jeff has cared for me as best he could which meant he basically left me alone except for making sure I ate and had enough cuddles.

I'm lucky in the fact that I have a job that does allow me to take a break like this. Usually, I'll take a Friday and hide. This time, I made sure my "pays the bills" writing was done, deferred the next gig until next week and then checked out. Then I got better and for that, I'm grateful.

My top choice of agent did turn me down (again – different agency) because she just doesn't have time to take me on. She is a one woman show right now with some big named clients. I have to admit, this does give me a great "been there, done that" story for the future that will start out something like, "Agents don't call authors just to tell them 'no.'... unless you're me."

Still, Christi gave me a much needed ego boost and assurances that I am a decent author. She is personally calling some of her other agent friends and recommending me to them. She didn't have to do that but she did it anyway. So, I am back to being "so close" to what I want again. That's OK. I have three recommended agents to query to with Christi personally recommending me to two of them.

In the meantime, I have my current writing, editing my Colonial Gothic setting now that my editor there has had a chance to look at it and next week I will be in a teleconference with an independent press about editing their next anthology. Yep, this one looks like it will be a solo venture and I'm going to have to take what I've learned from Amanda and apply it on this new project. Once I have all the details and can announce it, I will.

Jay Lake recently wrote about author friends who react badly to someone else's literary success and how his personal experience with his mentor hurt him a lot. Jealousy is an ugly emotion and it is one I strive to avoid at all costs. It is an intolerance of another's success. Envy, on the other hand, is awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same. It is why I state I can be envious without being jealous. This was my response to his post about the situation.

"This is a very interesting topic to me. I admit to feeling envious of my friends all around me who have novels out there or three book contracts with Tor and other such things. However, I don't feel -jealous- and that, to me, is an important distinction. I do not begrudge any one of my friends their success. Not at all. More power to them and good luck.

But, damn, sometimes I really want to be like them. I want an agent. I want novels on the shelf. I want all of those things.

At the same time, many of my friends, author and non-author alike, consider me a great success. A "real live author" is what one of them called me recently. I have contributed to a dozen RPG books and half a dozen anthologies. I've edited one anthology and I'm going to edit another.

Still... it's not enough for me.

But I would never hate any of my friends for getting out there and getting a novel published. I am envious of their success but not jealous."