December 2002

Quietly Raging

The kittens have charmed the pants off of everyone who has met them now. Ivanova has become my favorite of the trio. She is fierce, bold and demanding. Garibaldi and Talia are just as wonderful as always. I love having kittens around who are socialized and well adjusted. I'll admit it... part of me is pondering the idea of keeping Ivanova as my own.

One of the cutest things I've seen with them is their fascination with music. I put on Enigma and as soon as the music started, all three of them perked up their ears. Next thing I knew, all three of them were perched on the arm of the couch, staring intently at the boom box, with their ears swiveling. It was just adorable to see. I wish I had had a camera to take a picture of it.

There's nothing better than sitting down to listen to music, to read or to chat on the phone and have three kittens clamber on top of you and settle in for a good purring snooze. These guys are going to make someone really happy.

Boy, the dreams have been really strange and interesting for the past couple of days.

2002.12.03 - Visitation - In this dream, we are visited by Yony's cousin Nadav and I'm concerned for the little boy. Then, my home and kitchen are invaded by my Shakespeare troupe much to my disgruntlement. Appearances by Yony, Robert, Laurel, James and Autumn.

2002.12.04 - Casey and Andy - I've dreamt of interacting with comics before but this is the first time I've dreamt of being -in- a comic. Probably because I know the comic author and the people he writes about. In the dream, I fall for the evil villain, Lord Milligan.

Writing is good. I finally, finally got Doll 5 - The Closet done and sent off to Mistress Abby. They have been really happy with me and the Doll series. Next week, we are supposed to chat about other writing that she would like me to do for her website. I'm happy about this possible opportunity.

Now that we are into December, I'm going to start working on editing Regresser's Evolution for the first test pass. Then, I'm going to get about five people to do a first run read of it, chapter by chapter, and to answer questions for me. I have three of those people so far. Don't worry if you aren't in the first round and want to read. I'll be doing at least one more test round after this one.

Also, I've finished the origin stories for Breaking the Chains. Next up... outlining chapter by chapter. Strangely enough, right now, my female protagonist is insisting that her name is "Tor". So, that's what I'm going to go with. I think it's an odd name, especially for a female but it is her story and if that's what she wants to be called, so be it.

I've told myself that I'm not going to start a new round of submissions until Jan 2003 but, I'm getting itchy to start submitting my work around again. So, who knows. Maybe I'll drop a couple to Glimmer Train to sooth the need for now.

My job situation has just shocked the heck out of me. I've been promoted! I'm now the Team Lead on my current project. This is one of those 'burning the candle at both ends' things. My project is behind schedule. I've just had the schedule and manpower cut. To 'balance' that, the project scope is being scaled back. Still, it is one of those almost impossible situations. But, if I can pull this off in a satisfactory manner, no only will I be golden, I'll probably get to keep my "Team Lead" status. -That- would be awesome!

So, we'll see what happens in the next three weeks concerning this. It is supposed to go to production the Friday before I fly out to DC. Talk about cutting it down to the wire...

From Brezsny: Sagittarius:

You're living large these days, Sagittarius. I predict that your life will have synchronistic resonance with several historical events. For instance, December 6, 1933 was the first day in 13 years Americans could legally drink alcoholic beverages, and December 6, 2002 will bring the end of a noxious prohibition for you. On December 7, 1988, Soviet President Gorbachev eliminated 500,000 troops from his military forces, and any minute now you'll lower your own defenses. On December 9, 1793, Noah Webster created New York's first daily newspaper, and you're about to upgrade your ability to communicate.

I almost hope this is true - except for dropping my defenses. I hate feeling vulnerable.

There have been a lot of smaller drama-ish things going on around me that have left me feeling mostly helpless to do anything about them. I think, one of the thing I loath most in this world is helplessness. I want to be able to go and do and fix it all. I don't want to be passive anymore. I don't want to sit back, watch, hide and wait. I used to do that. No more.

Well, no more, unless circumstances prevent me from doing anything about what's going on. For example, there is one situation I see that I can liken to two trains ignorantly speeding towards each other on the same track. I could warn one or both of them... but, I know, if I do that, I could make them speed on faster towards one another, making the resulting crash that much worse. However, if I keep silent, there is a small chance that one or both of the trains could be diverted by circumstance and avoid the collision altogether. So, I remain pensively silent.

In another situation, I am forced to sit back and wait. One friend is assuming the results of some impending drama (because it will be drama) will be cataclysmic. I don't know if it will be that bad, but I can't really do anything to sooth the nerves of my friend because that soothing might cause more harm than good. I'll admit, I'm too close to this particular situation and while I can be reasonable, inside, I'm quietly raging at the circumstances that have brought us all here. It makes things that much harder now that people are starting to subtly poke at me for information and for my opinion on the situation. All I can say right now is, "I don't know. We'll see."

In other areas, I've got a friend who has asked me about me and my particulars. Since they asked, I told them what I was feeling. The next thing I know, I have a second friend telling me how the first friend is complaining to people about me "whining" at them about a situation I "don't seem to want to fix". This last bit has really pissed me off. They -asked- me what was going on. If they didn't want to hear, they shouldn't have asked. Dammit, they shouldn't be complaining to our mutual friends that I'm "whining" at them when they asked me about it in the first place. I will not be telling them anything about me or my life in the future.

I was once told that my poetry whispered when it should scream. That's just not me. I try very hard not to be intrusive. I don't always succeed but I always try. I probably internalize a lot more than I should, inwardly raging at things I have no hope to control. I probably should do more communicating than I do but I don't want to burden others with my issues. That, and the fact that I don't want my issues spread out all over the place. I love my friends but many of them gossip like hens. It makes it difficult when those I can trust to keep things to themselves are the ones I'm having my own personal drama with.

All in all, things are not that bad. Not yet. The potential for some terrible times is definitely there. But, as it seems with all things, we are all in a winter of waiting, slowly gaining the energy to express ourselves. We'll just have to wait and see what the new year brings us this time around.

DECEMBER'S JOURNAL SPOTLIGHT: Janos' Journal by Janos. A man with a name I adore and a personality to boot. He lives in Finland, is a gamer/LARPer, a freelance writer and a smoozer extraordanaire. His journal is filled with his dreams, his days, his dazes and other such fun stuff. He's a great guy to read and to get to know. Definitely worth a look or two.

Tarot Card for the Day: The Devil

BRRR!

Well, things are really "interesting" for my parents and my sister in North Carolina. I noticed on the news that the Carolinas were in a state of emergency due to the ice storm. I called my mom and got my sister. Seems neither house has power but mom and dad's house has a gas stove, gas fireplace and hot water. So, my sister and her family are camped out at my parent's place. They've been without power for over 24 hours and PG&E is saying it'll still be another 3 to 5 days before all power is restored.

Shannon told me that they only have about two inches of snow but the problem was the freezing rain. Everything is iced over. "There's more glaze out there on the ground than there is in a Krispy Kreme store." (My sister has picked up a cute little twang to her voice now.) Thankfully, the roads are clear. So, driving isn't an extra special hazard. It's just everywhere else where the ice has overwhelmed trees with the weight of it.

All in all, it could be much worse for them. They've got heat from the fireplace and can cook warm food. My nieces are looking at all this camping out as one big adventure. One is snuggled with Grampy. One is snuggled with Grammy. They're happy and safe and that's all that matters to them. They are just waiting to see which house gets power back first. Then, they'll all troop over there to cook any food that might have gone iffy during the power outage.

"Tonight, it's supposed to be down to 17 degrees." Shannon told me. "But, we've got it up to 68 degrees in here. So, there's not a problem unless you have to go to the bathroom. Then, you wonder if your butt has frozen to the seat. Let me tell you, you don't tarry when you gotta go right now."

I'm feeling sympathically cold for them. They sound in good spirits. So, I'm not really worried... yet.

Tarot Card for the Day: Seven of Swords

Guerilla Theater

I must say that this birthday has been the best birthday I've had in years, literally.

This year, I decided to plan a trip into the City for me and some friends. I've been wanting to introduce some of the Fremont group to some of the Palo Alto group for a while now. I figured my birthday would be an excellent excuse. So, I enlisted Rich's help in planning the day trip since I know next to nothing about SF and what's there or how to get to it.

It was a most excellent day. Will, Cynthia and Yony met Rich, Cil, Greg and David. Everyone gathered at my apartment and cooed over the kittens who were doing their kittenish best to charm everyone in sight. Ivanova stole both Will and Rich's hearts. Watching them hold that tiny kitten was too adorable for words. Cynthia gave me a small pouch of stuff that included a candle, a bone perfume bottle, stones and miniatures for our Plainscape game. Now, I know what my familiar is because she got me a figure of that, too!

We BARTed into the City on the slowest BART train ever, but everyone seemed to have a good time and to get along well anyway. No uncomfortable silences. We noshed at TiCouz for lunch. It was just as good as I remembered it to be. Then, off to the Metrion for wandering and hyperbowling. Hyperbowling is very strange but a lot of fun. Rich, of course, blew everyone away at a 'gross' score of 144. I didn't do too badly, I think, at 100.

From there, we ran off to the Virgin store to look for music and virgins. (As an aside, do you know how many people will whip their heads around if you say the word "virgin" in a crowded area? A lot. Trust me on this one.) I picked up Avril Lavigne (I love this CD), Seether and Tori Amos. The chick at the counter gave me an odd look but only asked if I found everything I wanted. Her eyebrow popped up when I mentioned I couldn't find Dirty Vegas but that was alright. I'm guessing she's just not used to seeing someone with such eclectic music tastes.

On the way home, we got into an interesting physics discussion over the validity of the warp drive, how it is currently impossible and how it could be possible. I think I can safely say that Rich was impressed with Yony's knowledge of the subject. I can't remember if I had told him that Yony was a graduate student in Theoretical Physics - String Theory.

The group broke up then. Yony and I heading to my apartment to chat, play with kittens and later go to dinner. I introduced him to my favorite local Japanese place, Yuri's, where we ended up in an interesting, intense discussion about BDSM, the whys of it and some of my experiences flying. It was the kind of conversation where the whole world disappears except for the person you are talking with. I'm not sure how many people overheard the conversation. I wasn't being loud, just focused. However, the looks I got as we left the restaurant make me think that I opened a couple of people's eyes without meaning to. Heh. I love that.

It was an excellent way to end a most excellent day. I'm so glad I planned this day out and that it went off with nary a hitch.

Sunday was Shakespeare in the park where many members of the Palo Alto group engaged in Guerilla Theater and did a dramatic reading of A Winter's Tale in the park behind the Center for Performing Arts in Palo Alto. We had an absolute blast doing this. We even had an audience! Monte, Thea, Andy, Bob and Albert all showed up to watch. Then, a passerby stopped to watch - she left to be replaced by another lady who then disappeared to get her coat and watched practically the whole show! She introduced herself to us and gave us her email. She wants to be informed of the next thing we do so she can come and bring friends! Imagine that!

Originally, I was supposed to just do Emilia, Mopsa and a Gentleman. All small parts because I was so shy about doing this in the first place. Then, Phoebe and Gary had to cancel. So, I was given two more small parts. Then, Jeanette had to cancel because she was sick. She had been playing Hermione, one of the leads. Earlier, I had joked that I hoped she couldn't make it because I had really enjoyed standing in for her at the last rehearsal. Suddenly, my 'wish' came true! *eep* In the end, I played Hermione, Mopsa, a Lord and a Gentleman. I wasn't as practiced as I had wanted to be, but I think I did well enough.

I was really impressed with everyone. We did impromptu blocking which worked out really well. Ted has the most marvelous speaking voice. Jeff was just a joy to watch. He had so much fun with his part. I'm really impressed with Tom, who came into the performance cold to pick up a bunch of smaller parts because of our loss of people. He really did an excellent job. Actually, everyone did really well! I especially liked the 'being eaten by a bear' impromptu acting.

Afterwards, a bunch of us headed out to dinner. It was Chef Liu's again because the Indian place wasn't open yet. Amazedly enough, we ordered just enough food for the nine of us who were there. It was really good to be some place warm after being out in the cold for hours on end. It seems that our next bit of Guerilla Theater in the Park will be King Lear - sometime in February, after all of the vacations are done.

Favorite quotes:
Hermione: We'll thwack him hence with distaffs!
Mopsa: Come now, you promised me a tawdry lace and a pair of sweet gloves.
Me (at dinner about the soup): Mmmm, warm salty liquid. *pause* I so did not just say that.

DECEMBER'S JOURNAL SPOTLIGHT: Janos' Journal by Janos. A man with a name I adore and a personality to boot. He lives in Finland, is a gamer/LARPer, a freelance writer and a smoozer extraordanaire. His journal is filled with his dreams, his days, his dazes and other such fun stuff. He's a great guy to read and to get to know. Definitely worth a look or two.

Tarot Card for the Day: The High Priestess

Self Centered Voyeur

This is not a defense. It is an explanation. Recently, I posted a rather controversial "Anonymous Thoughts" meme on my LJ where I had spent a couple of days going over my Friends list and stating a thought I had about them. Then, I removed the names, randomized the order and posted the results. Boy, I was not ready for the hornet's nest this kicked over. Some people railed at me, accusing me of cowardice, of being passive aggressive and of being down right mean. I deleted more than one lambasting email without responding as a result. Some people really liked the meme, complimenting me on it and how I responded to it.

[I don't think I'm going to get into my theory behind the issues of who responded how. If you're curious, ask me the next time we meet.]

But, I disgress. I was totally unprepared for the onslaught of responding emotions to this for two reasons. First, I personally did not have a bad reaction when I first read it from Fenwick. Actually, I had a lot of fun playing the game of trying to pick out which comment went to which journal. Second, and more importantly from my point of view, this meme was all about me and not about you or the other journals I read. Yes, me. Me. Me. Me! Perhaps, this is selfish and self centered but it is also true.

You see, the point of view that I was coming from on this meme was to honestly look at each journal, state my current thought about it and/or the writer and to tell myself why I continue to read that journal. This told me an awful lot about the way I view myself and my relationship with my friends. It pointed out to me that I really do run an interesting balancing act of friend, compromiser, peacemaker, political watcher and simple voyeur. Maybe the mistake I made was to only write down my thought about the journal in question and did not write down why I read (or continue to read) that person's journal.

For Example:
Journal One: You are broken in many ways. I'm sorry for every time I hurt you, but I won't lie to you about my feelings. [What I didn't write - why I continue to read: I continue to read you because I keep hoping that your turn will come and I will have the chance to cheer you on and share your joy with you.]

Journal Two: I think, if circumstances were different, we could really be friends. But, as they are now... no, it's not really possible. Tears on one side or both are forthcoming and that makes me sad. [What I didn't write - why I continue to read: I hope to goodness that I'm just wrong and paranoid here. You seem like such an interesting person to know. Maybe, one day, circumstances will let up.]

Journal Three: I thought you and I might be friends. I refused to listen to what everyone said about you. Warned me of. Then, you had to go and prove them right. This makes me very sad. I will always be friendly with you. That's the right/politic thing to do. However, I will never forget what you did to me and when. I will always be wary of you and your motivations because of that. [What I didn't write - why I continue to read: The reasons I continue to read you are not PC at all. I'll admit that. I'm curious about you and your (sometimes train wreck) life. If I were to remove you from my list, there could be political drama and ramifications throughout our mutual friends. Something I don't want to deal with. Also, there is always the hope and the slight chance that we could become friends after all. I'm willing to wait, watch and see.]

I'm not surprised that I did this. I remember once, a friend of mine commented to me, "In my journal, I write about the things going on around me. In your journal, you pretty much only write about what happens to you. If it happens to someone else, it is less important." I remember this comment well because my reaction then is the same reaction I have now. "Well, duh. It is -my- journal." (Said with a laughing smile and a twinkle in my eyes.)

Unlike many people I know, I do write my journal for me. Oh, sure... I sanitize it for suitable public content and there are many things that never make it to the public eye because I figure it might be too controversial or, frankly, it is something that is very private to me. I use my journal to vent, to think and to help me work through issues. I don't really write it to entertain people. Though, I'm always pleased when it does but that is a secondary consideration.

However, the fact remains, -I- am the protagonist of this journal. The heroine. The main focus. The anti-heroine from time to time. This is about me, my feelings, my thoughts, my actions, my reactions. Me, me, me! *smile* I write it from my point of view. Of course, it is going to be about me. Of course, whenever I write about something, I will be writing it from the point of view of how it affects me and mine.

I can guarantee to you that I am not going to use my journal to secretly or subtly send you a message about how much I like or dislike you. Frankly, I'm much too selfish and self centered to share the spotlight of my journal with others to do that. Also, I am fairly blunt, so I often tell people what I think in email, IM or face to face encounters. I've no need to take swipes via my journal. Especially subtle swipes that I'm not sure my intended target would see an/or understand.

No. I really do write all this stuff because I like reading about me and the snapshot images of my life over the years. I like seeing how I've changed, how I've stayed the same, the friends I have and had. I like being a voyeur to my own life. Just call me Narcissus.

It's one of the main reasons I like to read other people's journals as well. I really like reading things from their point of view. It helps me understand them better. It helps me get inside their head where I do my voyeur best to see what's going on in there. It is those journals that delve within that attract me the most.

DECEMBER'S JOURNAL SPOTLIGHT: Janos' Journal by Janos. A man with a name I adore and a personality to boot. He lives in Finland, is a gamer/LARPer, a freelance writer and a smoozer extraordanaire. His journal is filled with his dreams, his days, his dazes and other such fun stuff. He's a great guy to read and to get to know. Definitely worth a look or two.

Tarot Card for the Day: Six of Cups

Stormy Mish-Mash

We've been having a lot of stormy weather around here - both literally and figuratively. I've decided that I'm not going to write about the recent drama for several reasons. I'm in the middle of the Red Mess(TM) and not particularly rational right now. I seem to have drawn the overly emotional and acne cards this month. Also, writing it out for public consumption seems to only make things worse. So, I'm gonna stick to only face to face discussions of the issues and not engage in dramalicious public sniping. If you don't know what I'm talking about, no worries. You probably don't need to know.

I had a lovely little bombshell dropped on me last Friday by MM. In a conversation about the current project I'm team leading, we ended up talking about the next project in the pipeline. In a rather unexpected and panic inducing manner, I discovered that I am to team lead that project on the QA effort from start to finish. This is an awesome opportunity. Not to mention nerve wracking. So, it looks like I'm going to be very busy, work wise, for the first quarter of the year.

*cough* Now, the bombshell gets bigger and more confusing. Something about ending this project early, not releasing it and starting the next one early - as in - this week. Huh? I feel so far out of the loop on this one that I'm in the next state. It doesn't help that I'm going to be on vacation soon.

This week has been really good on red lining Regresser's Evolution. I'm about third the way through it and I've got six chapters so far. Occasionally, I do have to write while I'm redlining "What the heck was this for? Why the gloves?" It's amusing to read something and KNOW that there was something special going on with that statement but you can't remember what now for the life of you. Also, there is a great deal of satisfaction to be had when you can strike a line, thinking "Crap! Unneeded! Off with your head!" Of course, with all the red lining... it looks like I'm bleeding on my manuscript.

Breaking the Chains is proceeding a pace. Albeit, a little slower than I wanted it to. Mostly because I'm too bloody busy for my own good. However, I have the needed Latin translations now (thank you, Yony) and I'll be bastardizing them for the novel soon. I'm still on the outlining phase and I've discovered that I need to write up a second spiritual belief system that does not believe in an all powerful deity. Instead, it is based on continuing reincarnation. It's a cool contrast to the other religion in the book.

One of the neatest things that happened this weekend was a very long conversation with Phoebe. She invited me over last Friday but I had plans with Thea and Monte. So, I invited her to lunch on Saturday. I had erroneously assumed that Ari had mentioned to Phoebe that I was interested in getting to know her, thus, the original invitation.

No. That was wrong. Phoebe, after reading my journal and remembering having met me before, simply decided that she wanted to get to know me better. The exact same thing had happened from my POV with her journal. Talk about syncronisity. We really enjoyed talking with each other, sharing experiences, discussing novel writing and all manner of other things. I hope we can get together again soon. That was very cool.

Jeanne came over Sunday to visit kittens, pick out one and to gab with me as well. She's a really neat lass who is going through some hard times now. I listened and understood where I could. I think she's got a good head on her shoulders and a good plan. Plus, the kittens liked her a lot. She has decided to adopt Garibaldi. I'll be delivering him to their new place in early January.

Oh, speaking of adoptions... Ivanova has already been adopted, sight unseen, by someone who is giving a little ginger kitten to her husband for Christmas. It's very sweet but sad. I really debated about keeping Ivanova. Now, Talia is following me around like a little lover kitten. She's been so sweet lately that I'm getting that urge to keep her. I know I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. But, sometimes, being a foster mom for kittens is really hard on me. Maybe, I'm just feeling needy due to my cycle right now. I don't know.

On the really keen side of things... The Jennifer character has just shown up in Casey & Andy as their unfortunate neighbor (and Casey's former room mate) who has to contend with the results of the guys' disasters. Look! I have purple hair! *hehehe* Of course, I'm not actually named, yet. But, Andy and I talked about it after I had that Casey & Andy dream. I like the look he created for my caricature. I can't wait to see what plotlines happen with her and if he does some of the random ideas we discussed. Neat! I'm a web comic character now!

In other entertainment news, I saw both Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for the second time (it was just as good) and Equilibrium (which was fantastic). I need to see Equilibrium again. Beyond the fact that it had Christian Bale in it, and as Johanna says, "I'd watch him shop for groceries.", the story itself was really good, the gun-fu was spectacular and the whole film was beautiful. I must own this movie!

Finally, it appears that my thin blooded caitiff seer, Theadora Swain, has been accepted for the upcoming Vampire LARP. *cheer*

DECEMBER'S JOURNAL SPOTLIGHT: Janos' Journal by Janos. A man with a name I adore and a personality to boot. He lives in Finland, is a gamer/LARPer, a freelance writer and a smoozer extraordanaire. His journal is filled with his dreams, his days, his dazes and other such fun stuff. He's a great guy to read and to get to know. Definitely worth a look or two.

Tarot Card for the Day: Eight of Cups, Inverted

Ok. I lied. I'm back.

I'm back from my vacation to DC to visit with Ice. It was just long enough. Any longer and I would have overstayed my welcome. Any shorter and we wouldn't have gotten to do all of the things that we wanted to do. I jotted down notes for the journal a couple of times during the trip. (I love my iBook!)

24 December 2002
Things have been good now that I am here in DC. The trip out just sucked. Too small seats, stuffed to the brim with unhappy travelers who were doing their best to share their bad mood. I was really glad to get off the plane and meet up with Ice.

I got to see my first snow today. I have not seen snow in over a decade. It was both very keen and very cold. I forgot how cold the east coast can get. Ice and I went grocery shopping. That was a trip and a half. The store was, as predicted, was filled with insane holiday shoppers. We got out of there with our skins in tact - barely. I flatly refused to go into Wal-Mart. Ice did not believe me when I told him it was not worth it. He believes me now.

25 December 2002
Ice is in the shower as I look out the window and see my first white Christmas in over a decade. I have fallen in love with snow from this side of the glass. It is beautiful and magical and hypnotic. It is a fairy land from Ice's 9th story flat. The world blanketed in white. Of course, it is also amazingly cold. So, we are staying inside today.

I met Ice's new girlfriend, Kat. She is quite interesting. Savvy, intelligent and stubborn. A good match for him, I would say. If she keeps on this way, she is going to pass the friend's test without an issue. She will be coming over soon. I'm not sure exactly when. But, since her family is in New York, she did not have anyone else to spend it with.

... It's an hour later and the snow is GONE! Completely. I don't know what happened but I had a white Christmas, then I didn't. It is still frickin' cold out. We found a Korean place for lunch. It was OK. I still think, in some arenas, CA has better food. Also, no smoking in restaurants. *bleh*

26 December 2002
Today was my Pentagon tour. Only, it didn't go off as planned. The Marines made Ice jump through hoops, put the request in writing on official letterhead, then confirmed the tour date and time with him. Guess what. No one showed up. I pity the Marines who are gonna have to deal with Ice on that little snafu. The look in his eyes was very unpleasant. He was very unhappy and embarrassed. DC is not a town to embarrass someone in without consequences.

However, being the intrepid people that we are, we decided to make our own tour. I had the clearance after all. Why not? The Pentagon is laid out like a maze. There are four rings connected by main corridors and at least three levels. Most of the neat displays were on the first two levels. I got to see the Joint Staff offices, the Flag room and where a lot of people in power worked. Ice spent a lot of time saying "And what they won't tell you here is..." Of course, none of it was classified. Just amusing or less than complimentary.

One interesting story. There is an inner courtyard within the Pentagon. It encloses a small building. During the Cold War, the Russians, logically, specifically targeted that building with missiles. They figured that that small building, in the center of one of the most secure locations in the United States, must house something very important. Documents or who knows. So, Ice tells me this story and builds it up dramatically as we walk out to the courtyard and lets me see what this oh-SO-important building is...

... I look up to see a hotdog stand. A "Dominic's of New York" hotdog stand to be precise.

Apparently, when the Cold War was over and the Russians were allowed into the Pentagon on tour, some of them turned bright red when they discovered what the target actually was. So, Ice and I had hotdogs... not particularly good hotdogs either... in the courtyard of the Pentagon. It was a very surreal experience.

Also, I wanted to get pictures of it. So, I got a picture of Ice and the stand. Then, one of the workers got a picture of me and Ice together there. He was asked me if I wanted a second picture there because the sun was behind us. Just as I was about to say yes, a guard walked by "No pictures." We thought he was joking. No. He wasn't. So, the camera got tucked into my purse and that was that. Thus, I have a couple of illicit photos of one of the most targeted sites in the US during the cold war. I'm pretty happy with it.

Oh! I so wanted a picture of a poster I saw in one of the main hubs. It was a brightly colored poster in reds, yellows and oranges - like a parrot. The top part had a parrot in a circle. The text said: "Some birds talk too much. What you do here. What you see here. What you hear here. Leave it here." It was a beautiful bit of security propaganda.

27 December 2002
DC has a great public transport system called the Metro. We drove by one on our way to get my new trench coat when I saw the following signs. "Park and Ride" and "Kiss and Ride" I about fell out of my seat. "What's a "Kiss and Ride?!" I asked Ice. "Oh, that's where you drop people off for the Metro or pick them up." "Why's it called that?" "Think about it, Jenn."

After a moment, it all became clear. You often kiss your SO when you drop them off for work or pick them up. NEAT! Kiss and Ride! How sweet. How unexpected for DC in my mind. I immediately decided that we need "Kiss and Ride"s in the Bay Area. After posting the comment on my LiveJournal, I was informed that we DO have such animals here. I've just never seen them. Huh.

***

Ice and I have been having a series of serious discussions about my/his/our future in a professional sense. I call these discussions "the Red pill - Blue pill discussions." Ice works for the government. He works in some extremely interesting and sensitive arenas. He's got a PLAN for the future. He wants me to be part of that PLAN. To work for/with him. Not immediately but within the next couple of years. He thinks I have the skills and the talent, though, not the ability to politic. I constantly waiver on these discussions. Sometimes, I'm ready to sign up. Sometimes, I'm not. I don't know if I would like working with him in his arena. I really don't know. I do know, he's given me an awful lot to think about once again.

Note to self: Look up the history behind the Israeli conflict. The Balfour Declaration and British Mandate in 1946 that ended the Israeli war for independence.

28 December 2002
Ice used to game. These days, he doesn't have time, energy or companions who game. However, he seems to be fascinated by my tales of the various characters I play, the situations they get into and how they get out of them. I told him about my newest character, Theodora Swain, who is probably going to be accepted for the new vampire LARP: Shadows of the Cross.

Theodora is Catholic. I explained her background to him and he asked me if I had a rosary for her, yet. I didn't. Ice, who is now Eastern Orthodox, no longer uses his rosary. He gave it to me, explaining that it had been blessed by Arch Bishop Ratzinger of LA and by an East German former sniper now priest. I was very surprised. It feels kind of strange to have a blessed artifact in my possession now. One that is a prop for a character. I know I'll be taking extra special care of this gift to me.

It's funny. Ice is always showing me different facets of himself. Right after the discussion about the rosary, we, somehow, ended up in a discussion about past relationships. He popped off a quote to me that is my favorite quote of my vacation. He was talking about what he said to a former European girlfriend when she called him, letting him know that she was going to be in the states. She wanted to know if the two of them could hook up while she was here. His response... "I'm a single professional male with disposable income. You tell me when and where and I'll be there."

Man... I wish someone would say something that to me! *hehehe*

29 December 2002
Today was my day to do the tourist thing. Ice, Kat and I headed out to the "Mall" - which is a large area/park with many different memorials. We first went to the Lincoln memorial. This memorial always chokes me up. I very much admire Lincoln. He is the epitome of the American Dream and he did so much for this country. The memorial itself is awesome but the words of the man are even more so.

From there, we went to the Vietnam memorial and the Korean memorial. The Korean memorial is vaguely disturbing to me with the statues of the soldiers because some of them look far too real for comfort. Especially the expressions of nervousness, wariness and fear. The other thing that disturbed me about it was the fact that it seemed unfinished. There were marble headstones all throughout the memorial that where blank. I kept expecting to see the names of the fallen soldiers on them... but nothing. It makes me wonder if there are plans to finish that memorial or not.

We rounded out the walking tour with the Franklin D Roosevelt memorial. This memorial is my next favorite after the Lincoln memorial. It is a large maze like memorial with many of Roosevelt's famous words engraved on the wall. The memorial is mostly 'decorated' with waterfalls. It is very soothing with many places to sit and contemplate. Or, watch the overbold squirrels. They are very fat and very cute.

From the FDR memorial, I was able to get two good photos of the Thomas Jefferson memorial and the Capital building. Both were very pretty across the pond from the FDR memorial.

I have to say, I really enjoy two things about the east coast - the architecture and the sense of history. You don't really get either out in California. Not really. There was something very special about wandering through the halls of power in the city that some call the Center of the World. It was a vacation worth doing. I'm very glad I went.

DECEMBER'S JOURNAL SPOTLIGHT: Janos' Journal by Janos. A man with a name I adore and a personality to boot. He lives in Finland, is a gamer/LARPer, a freelance writer and a smoozer extraordanaire. His journal is filled with his dreams, his days, his dazes and other such fun stuff. He's a great guy to read and to get to know. Definitely worth a look or two.

Tarot Card for the Day: Eight of Swords, Inverted