April 2008

April 04: Just In Time
April 16: Oddly Domestic
April 23: A Little Respect Please

April 4

Just In Time
The condo is sold and closed and I even got a small check of "profit" after all was said and done. You all have no idea just how relieved I am over all this. I'm back to a single household and just in time. You see, I really needed that check to pay bills. I have lots of money coming to me but there has been some sort of hiccup at Amazon where I didn't get paid for February. It's not my editor's fault. He's a stand up guy who always submits my invoices. Something happened after it left his hands and we aren't sure what. So, the house check makes me solvent until my 'deferred revenue' comes in.

Not to mention I'm not putting out a huge amount of money every month on a place I haven't lived in since Dec 2007. That is a huge relief for me and for Jeff. Now, we can actually think about doing some realistic budgeting for our household and that makes me very happy.

The new job is strange and very busy. To get to know the software I will be testing, the hiring company is having me do the job of what the software is being used for. This very helpful in a couple of ways. I learn the software and it gives MS enough time to go through the paperwork of getting me a badge and a smart card. I do have to say, I'm glad I am not being hired to do the work that the software is being used for. It is too subjective for my taste.

Along with the QA job, I have Amazon. My editor has been kind enough to give me a couple of long term projects so I don't have to keep poking him to give me stuff. It's not glamorous work but it pays the bills and that is a very good thing.

No word on any of the MWP writing projects yet. Other than a due date for the first book of one of the projects. I'm still waiting to see what I need to do. I know what the projects are but I have no details yet and that is making me antsy. I like working for MWP. I want to get working on one of those projects soon.

Thinking of writing, I'm getting about one good day a week to work on Empire's Devolution and I am doing the work of actually outlining what I want to have happen in the nine days the story takes place. I'm also doing little things like naming people who will be major characters. Other than that, all my time is taken up with Freaky Friday Fiction and The Edge of Propinquity.

Actually, I lie. I have some new blood being pumped into the Grants Pass anthology with some exciting results. We will see what comes of this. Not much to say yet. Hopefully soon. Plus, I really want to get a sub into the Voices anthology but nothing of any real inspiration has come to light, yet. I'm hopeful thought.

Oh, yeah. It's official. I'm a writer guest panelist person for Radcon 2009. Go me!

The kittens are doing well enough. Esme is slowly... ever so slowly... accepting them. We've had a couple of WTF and OMG moments with the kittens recently.

So, I took the kittens to the vet and one of the things I wanted checked out was whether or not the kittens had waxy ears or ear mites. The kittens wouldn't sit still long enough for the vet to tell. So, she gave us Advantage for kittens. Yesterday, we put it on the kittens and separated them so they wouldn't lick it off each other.

Unlike Esme, who cannot pull an Exorcist move to lick the back of her neck and between her shoulder blades, the kittens can. We discovered this the hard way. I had Pharaoh locked up in my office. I turned and he was FOAMING at the mouth and darting all over the place trying to get away from a nasty taste. I thought he was having a bad reaction to the medicine. I panicked. Completely.

I called the vet and, in retrospect, I suppose it is better that the receptionist laugh at you on the phone over the situation instead of telling you to bring the kitten in immediately. But, still, it did not make me feel much better to know that they were foaming up because they had a nasty taste in their mouths and they would be just fine. Really. Apparently, Maus are very, very flexible and we have to put the Advantage on the back of their heads, just above the collar because that is the only place they cannot reach. And now I know.

That's OK. They got back at us. Wednesday, they attacked the Costco box of ramen and ruined two packages. I cleaned up the mess and put the box up high on the dining room table. Such the fool was I. This morning, when I came downstairs, there was an unholy mess in the dining room and they had opened, chewed upon and partially eaten TEN (seriously) packages of ramen! They were still trying to eat the dry ramen noodles as I cleaned it up. My Mau kittens are addicted to ramen. Who knew?

April 16

Oddly Domestic
I do not know if this is a "nesting" response to my upcoming nuptials (in two weeks!!) or a bit of Spring Fever cleaning kicking in or if it is me just settling into a new domestic routine. I do know that I have been oddly domestic for the past few weeks and it is a curious thing for me.

I will be the first to admit it. I am no Suzy Homemaker. I hate cleaning. And the thought of holding a needle in my hand for more than sewing the errant button back on gives me hives. Just ask the lovely lassies who are making my wedding garb. I went pale at the thought of me adding pearls to the edge of the hemline even though my seamstress, JonnaLyhn, assured me that it was easy. In the end, she did it because I wasn't going to let myself anywhere near an important bit of clothing like that with my lack of skill.

And yet....

In the last week, I have voluntarily cleaned the kitchen multiple times. Just up and did it. Even after I declared to Jeff that it was his turn. I've also done multiple loads of laundry - yes, it needed it but I did because I didn't know if Jeff had clothes to wear or not. So washing I did go. I've even considered vacuuming a couple times though it's not gotten past the thought process stage, yet. Most shocking, I voluntarily, on my own, dyed a garment I own from one color to another. Really. While it did not come out the color I thought it would, it came out beautifully.

I wanted to dye my white crinoline black. I wasn't going to use it for my wedding. Thus, I wanted to use it for other things. JonnaLyhn emailed me directions on what to do and I did it. Just like that. The slick fabric and mesh did not lend itself to the black dye. All of the cotton stuff on it came out a deep black, the rest came out a gorgeous silver-grey purple that I could never have done in a million years if I tried. I am very pleased with it and myself. This is a real victory for a non-DIY gal.

It's weird for me to be so domestic. A couple weeks ago, I willingly put pictures of me on the wall. Granted, I combed through the best Hawaii 2007 images of pictures of me, Jeff, us and the cool things we did. 32 of them ended up on "The Wall of Us" and I adore it. I really do. I never thought I would be doing the things I'm doing now.

I think I kind of like it. But I'm not crazy. Jeff and I have already talked about hiring a maid service to clean the house from top to bottom after the wedding but before the WA reception. Once we get a regular routine going now that Showcase is over and the wedding is almost here, we'll probably have a maid service come in on a regular basis. You see, Jeff can claim "Guy" and I can claim "Author" as for why our house is such a mess all the time.

The writing I have been doing has been almost exclusively nonfiction related. Huge Amazon project, tech writing for the QA job and various bits for wedding as well as a new project that I've just accepted. Fortunately, this new project is a one-off, due at the end of May.

This means I haven't really been writing fiction except for TEoP, FFF and for bits of RPG character fiction. This bothers me because I want to work on Empire's Devolution and I finally have a story idea for an anthology call for submissions. I'm not saying I bit off more than I can chew for my paying gigs. I'm just saying that some of my creative side is chaffing at the bit and poking me, asking "When is it my turn." Soon. Soon. I promise. Life is very busy right now.

Two weeks until the wedding! Oh, man. I am very excited and a wee bit nervous. Soon. So soon!

April 23

A Little Respect Please
I recently read about the "Open Source Boob Project" that, while not intending to be intimidating to women or harassment, turned into a huge debacle. I am not going to comment on it as the person who started it has retracted various statements with apologies and has had to deal with numerous not-so-happy-or-shiny reactions to it. Nor will I comment on the "Open Source Knuckle Sandwich Project" or any of the other offspring reactions of the whole situation.

What I will say is that it is true that often microcosms do not do well in macrocosms and there will always be that one person who messes it up for everyone else - be it on purpose or accident.

This whole situation has me thinking about Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Gaming conventions and what happens when sleep deprivation, an unusual environment and (sometimes) alcohol mixes with often socially inept people. Mistakes happen. But so does goodness. Unfortunately, it is the badness that we hear more about. No one cares if the voices tell you to plant roses but everyone cares if the voices tell you to plant roses and fertilize them with human blood.

Ok. So, that's an extreme example but its true. Especially when speaking about things that happen at conventions. Like it or not, many of the normal social rules of personal space and boundaries are ignored because of the convention atmosphere. There are horror stories of Guests of Honor groping other guests or convention goes. There are examples of people invading personal space and ignoring boundaries. There are unrepentant, incorrigible but well-meaning people who overstep the lines who then apologize profusely when they realize they have upset someone when they did not mean to.

Then there are those people who push boundaries and ignore societal norms because they can get away from it and make the victim - male or female - feel guilty for objecting to the offensive attention because they are at a convention and they are suppose to loosen up. Not to be such a prude or wet blanket. You know the type. These people are the reason we can't have nice things.

I have been thinking about this a lot more because the next convention I will go to, I will have been married for a month. I've been in a monogamous relationship with this man who is to be my husband since we started seriously dating. Married and monogamous. That puts a very different spin on things for me in one sense when it comes to flirting or being hit on at conventions. I am a taken woman and there are hard boundaries that Will Not Be Crossed. Period.

That all said, it should not matter whether or not I am a monogamously married woman or a single swinger with an eye for everyone. How I should be treated at a convention should be the same as if I were in the "real" world. I should be treated with the same respect you give me outside of the convention - whether or not I'm married. I should not be reduced to wearing buttons or stickers or whatever to tell you to keep your bloody hands off of me! It doesn't matter whether or not I'm wearing a corset. I wear corsets in the "real" world, too and don't get groped. I don't give a damn if we are at a convention or not. If you would not grope me in the hallway of an office building on a Wednesday afternoon, what the hell makes you think it would be OK to grope me in the middle of a hotel hallway on a Friday afternoon because we are "at con"? It's not OK. Not in the "real" world and not at con.

I have been groped at conventions. I have slapped hands, stomped feet and verbal cut down the offenders who did so randomly and without permission or warning. I do not appreciate this. If I know you and we flirt innocently, that is one thing. We have an established relationship. We know each other. We like each other. We are aware of where the boundaries are. I am fine with this - married or not. There is consent on both sides and that is very important.

I've been thinking about this a lot because of past experiences. It wasn't right when it happened back then and it won't be right when it happens again. (Sad that I have to assume since I won't stop going to conventions that I will be molested again.) But now, I will be married and that bothers me more. I suppose it bothers me because there is an inherent disrespect for the victim as well as for any relationships they have. Ya'll know me, disrespect me, I won't be happy but I will deal. Disrespect one of mine and I'll bury you. That goes triple for anyone who dares mess with my husband-to-be.

I guess I am just asking for a little respect - now, at work, in the grocery store, wherever I may go - including conventions.

April

Continue on to: MAY 2008
(Created by JLB)